What's Hidden
by illmakeitjustwatch
Summary: Rachel Berry is falling appart and has found comfort in a razor blade. Faberry. Brittana is thrown in here and there. Also friendship between the four girls. Shelby involvement as well. Contains self injury. Heavy on the angst side. Writting gets better.
1. Prologue

**A/N: ****I haven't decided yet if I will leave this as a one-shot or make it a full story. I'm leaning towards the story, but I would like some opinions on which way to got. This is my first fic so please play nicely. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee in any way, shape, or form.**

Prologue

From the outside, Rachel Berry looks confident, strong, and happy. On the inside, she is falling apart.

At school she keeps her head held high and a smile on her face. Even with the daily slushy facials, name calling, bullying, and pornographic pictures, she never shows any sign of weakness.

Her dads are never around. Work and trips are more important to them then their own daughter. The novelty of having a daughter has worn off after the years, and they both are starting to regret having her. But they would never admit it to anyone, even each other.

Her mother doesn't want anything to do with her. Shelby worked so hard to get Rachel to figure out that she was her mother. Shelby however decided that she didn't want to deal with a having a teenage daughter. Rachel knows that she regrets even contacting her and maybe even regrets having her as a daughter. This is justified when Shelby turns around and adopts Quinn and Puck's daughter Beth. It's a slap in the face to Rachel, especially since she had told her about the names Quinn calls her and about the slushies.

She has no friends. Not one person likes her. She wishes more then anything that just one person would be there for her. Puck just wanted sex and to get his mom off his back for a while and used her since she's Jewish as well, Jessie was using her for Shelby, Finn cheated one her with one of the Cheerios, Shu and the rest of Glee only (barely) put up with her for her voice. She officially has nobody.

What would someone see if they looked closer and actually paid a small amount of attention to her? They would see a girl who has lost a sparkle in her eyes and the joy of life. And if they looked really close, they might catch a glimps of the numerous cuts adorned on her body. Cuts fresh from the night before or even from this morning before school started. Or the hundred or so scars that are on every area of her body now.

She wonders if one person knew, would they even care?


	2. Rachel's Week from Hell  Monday

**A/N: Ok, I've decided this is going to be a full story. I think this is going to become Faberry, but it might take a little bit of time to get there so hang tight! Time frame: Set in season 2. This will be about 4 months after regional's and about 1 month into the new school year. All mistakes are my own fault. I own nothing!**

_Rachel's Week From Hell - Monday_

Rachel woke up Monday morning at 6am to Popular from Wicked playing from her iHome. She jumped out of bed with a smile, threw on her pre-planned work-out clothes, and hopped onto her elliptical to begin her morning routine.

After 45 minutes of exercise and letting her mind wonder to what she was going to do this week, she walked to her bathroom for a shower. She turned the water on to a slightly cool temperature to help her cool off and wake up a little more. Throughout the shower she was distracted and lost in deep thought acting as if she was on auto-pilot. While shaving her legs, she was not being to careful, causing her to make a fairly large cut on her leg from the blade. She jumped at the pain and looked down.

Rachel watched as bright red blood trickled out of her leg. She stared at the blood dripping down her leg as if she were in a trance, mesmerized by what she was seeing. She snapped herself back into reality after a minute, vowing to be a little more careful and pay more attention when she had a sharp object in her hands.

After her shower she dried off, putting a band-aid on her leg to stop the bleeding. She found one of her trade mark plaid skirts and knee-high socks, and decided on a long sleeved blouse since it was a chilly fall day in Ohio, and pulled them on. She dried her hair, put on a little bit of make-up, and smiled at herself in the mirror, giving herself a nod of approval. She grabbed her bag, skipped downstairs, and pulled the pre-made protein shake from the fridge before getting her car keys off the designated hook (so she never lost them and always knew when they were,) before walking outside and getting into her Jeep and heading off to school.

She arrived at school a half hour before classes started, hoping to make it to her locker and to her first class before any of the jocks could find her with a slushy. She knew Finn would not be in school today, so she had be extra careful to watch where they were so she could hide if she saw one with a slushy. Even with Finn as her boyfriend, Rachel was still on the bottom of the social ladder and was still fair game, especially since Finn never tried to stop them. Thankfully, she made it to her first class without incident, nor did she see any slushy cups.

Somehow, Rachel managed to make it to lunch without any problems. Little did she know what was waiting for her at lunch. The jocks soon realized that Finn was not around today and that Rachel was an open target. Before lunch began, 6 of the football and hockey players made a quick trip to the 7-11 on the corner and each got 2 extra large slushies. In total they had 12 in every available flavor and color. They immediately headed back to school and into the lunch room since they didn't want to miss their target.

Rachel walked into the lunchroom with a smile. She was in a good mood having avoided any problems so far that day. As she walked in, the 6 jocks immediately stood up and everyone in the cafeteria looked up to see who was going to be the next victim of their wrath. The 6 walked up to Rachel and gave her smirks as they surrounded her. She froze in her spot and look around at them. She counted 12 slushies in total and immediately shut her eyes and held her breath. Karofsky held up his hand showing 5 fingers. He slowly put one at a time down to increase the waiting time for Rachel as a way to torture her even more. When the last finger was taken down, all 6 threw the12 slushies, effectively giving her a slushy shower. She was soaked from head to toe and had slushy covering every body part and even in her underwear. The entire lunch room broke out into a deafening roar of laughter as the jocks walked away high-fiveing each other. Rachel wiped some of the slushy off her face and opened her eyes. Everyone was looking at her, pointing and laughing. She failed to notice the one person in the room that was not laughing, but rather had a look of actual concern on her face. She willed herself not to cry as she turned on her heel and went to her locker to grab her slushy kit.

Rachel walked into the locker room because she knew that a sink in the girls bathroom would not suffice. She peeled her sticky clothes off and threw them away. She decided to not even bother trying to get them clean since it would probably just be a waste of her time. She went into a shower stall and began to scrub and wash all traces of the slushy off her cold and trembling body. It took her 20 minutes to get her body cleaned and all the slushy out of her hair. She finally deemed herself de-slushied and turned off the shower. She was down to her last pair of clothes in her bag and made a mental note to refill it that evening. She pulled on a pair of jeans, t-shirt, and sneakers and walked out of the room. She shoved her bag into her locker before grabbing her books and sprinting to class since she was already late. When she walked in, the teacher tilted her head at Rachel and gave her a sympathetic look before nodding at her to take her seat. The class let out a collective chuckle as she sat down. The teacher sent them all a glare and told them if she heard one more sound they were all getting detention.

The rest of her classes went the same for the rest of the day. She was thankful that there was no Glee today since she really couldn't handle dealing with their looks and comments today, plus she was exhausted.

Rachel finally made it home and went immediately upstairs to her room. She found herself grateful that her dads were out of town again so she wouldn't have to talk to them. She walked into her room, turned her slow play list on and curled up on the bed. She finally let go of the tears she had been holding back since lunch.

She stayed curled in a ball crying for an hour before she finally calmed down. She walked into her bathroom and looked into the mirror and sighed at her red and blotchy face. Her eyes were also swollen and there were dried tear stains down both of her cheeks. She sighed again and reached into the bathtub to grab a wash cloth. It was then that she noticed the blood that hadn't washed away from her shower this morning. Her mind went back to that moment as she watch the blood flow from her leg. It was at that moment that Rachel got an idea.

She quickly washed her face before going out to the garage. She found the many different razor blades her dads kept in the garage for various tasks. She picked up the case of thin, double sided blades, deciding that they would do.

She went back to her bathroom and sat down on the toilet lid. Pulling out one of the new blades, she stared at it while turning it around in her hands a few times. She took the blade in her right hand and held it to her left inner forearm. She looked at the blade just touching her skin for a minute before getting the nerve to press down on the blade and drag it across her skin.

She watch as the dark red blood seeped out of the cut and she was transfixed as it dripped onto the floor. It didn't hurt like she expected it to. It made her feel like she was flying from the high it gave her. She pressed the blade back to her arm and watched in amazement as she made 4 more cuts, staring as more blood began to drop to the floor.

She sat watching for another few minutes as relief and calm flooded over her. She willed herself to stand and clean up her arm. She washed the dry and still flowing blood from her arm before applying some ointment and covering it carefully with a few band-aids, while hoping it would be enough to contain the blood. She used the wash cloth to wipe the blood off the floor before rinsing it and throwing it into the laundry hamper. She hid the box of blades in the drawer of the vanity before turning off the light. She grabbed a pair of pajamas and changed before crawling into bed. It was only 7, but she was physically and mentally exhausted as she came off her high from the cuts. She sighed and smiled one last time before finally giving in to sleep as it washed over her.


	3. Rachel's Week from Hell Tuesday

_Rachel's Week From Hell - Tuesday_

The next morning Rachel woke up with her 6am alarm playing The Bitch of Living from Spring Awakening, and couldn't help the chuckle that escaped from her throat. She looked down at her bandaged arm and was thankful it hadn't bleed through during the night. She pulled on her usual workout clothes and hopped on the elliptical.

After putting in her 45 minute workout, she walked into the bathroom to deal with what she was going to find under the band-aids.

Rachel took a deep breath and pulled part of her lower lip between her teeth as she slowly pulled the bandges off.

She was relieved to see that the cuts weren't as deep as she was expecting them to be. She told herself that it was just a one time thing, a mistake, and that she would never do it again. She undressed and completed her shower routine, taking care to be careful when shaving and gently cleaned the cuts. After her shower she applied fresh ointment and a new, slightly larger, bandage to her arm.

She then wrapped her towel around her tiny body and walked to her closet to find the days outfit and to also re-pack her slushy bag. She pulled on a red and black plaid shirt, red knee high socks, and white short sleeved blouse. It was a warm fall day and she silently cursed the strange Ohio weather considering it was chilly the day before. She decided that the one band-aid wouldn't draw too much attention and if anyone asked (highly unlikely) she would simply say she scratched her arm while looking for something in the garage the previous day. She then packed another four outfits into her slushy bag and hoped that she wouldn't be needing them anytime soon. After doing her hair and make-up, she gathered both of her bags for school and went to grab a quick breakfast before heading off.

Walking to her locker Rachel was relieved to see Finn waiting for her and she couldn't suppress the huge smile that crept up on her face. Finn noticed her and gave his signature goofy grin. Rachel knew that since Finn was back she was highly unlikely to get slushied today, which made her smile even bigger. Finn leaned down and placed a kiss on Rachel's lips as soon as she got to her locker.

"I missed you Rachel" Finn told her.

She giggled and replied "I missed you too Finn. I'm so glad your back. It was hard not seeing you all weekend and then with you not being here yesterday, I -" Finn leaned down and gave her another kiss to stop the rambling coming from Rachel.

Rachel was even more relieved when she managed to make it the entire day without one slushy, one look from a jock, or anything else going wrong. What Rachel didn't notice was a certain Cheerio keeping a eye on her all day from a distance and shooting glares at anyone who so much as looked at Rachel.

Rachel found it odd that Finn had been practically attached himself to her through the entire day. This was very unusual for him to be this way, but Rachel really didn't mind. It was nice to have him this close to her, especially after the day she had yesterday.

Rachel and Finn made their way to the choir room for Glee, and took their usual seats in the front row. The rest of the Glee club slowly tricked in and took their seats as they waited for Mr. Schue to make his appearance. Rachel was stunned that not one comment was made about her slushy bath yesterday and she was glad that it was behind her.

Will finally showed up 5 minutes late (to no ones surprise) and dropped a stack of music onto the piano. "Alright guys, sections are just a few weeks away and I think we need to start buckling down and getting to work. It looks as if we are going to have a bit of competition at sectionals this year, so I don't want any of you slacking off. We only have this year to prove ourselves otherwise Glee will be disbanded."

"Mr. Schue, if I may?" Rachel said as she shot her hand up.

Will rolled his eyes and nodded, he knew there was no point to fight her.

Rachel stood up and began "Ok guys, if we really want to show them how it's done, I think we need to-"

"Honestly Diva, no one really wants to hear your ideas right now" Kurt shot at her.

Mercedes backed him up "Seriously, we're sick of your selfishness and need to run everything your way. No one cares what you think, haven't you realized this yet?"

"Sit down Man Hands" came from Santana.

There was nods and mumbles of agreement heard throughout the club.

Rachel looked at Finn who didn't even meet her gaze. She sighed and sat back in her seat and focused her eyes on the floor and willed herself, for the second day in a row, to not cry.

Will came back to the front of the room and cleared his throat. "Ok guys. So your assignment for the week, everyone is to choose a partner and choose a song that expresses your thoughts to towards them."

The pairs were as expected: Quinn/Sam, Kurt/Mercedes, Santana/Puck, Brittany/Artie, Tina/Mike, and Rachel/Finn. Rachel only nodded slightly when Finn asked her to be his partner without even looking up from the floor.

Will didn't want to bring up sectionals again so he decided to let them go for the day. "Ok guys, songs are due on Friday" he told them as they began to gather their things to leave.

Rachel grabbed her bag and walked out leaving Finn standing there stunned. As she passed some of the other Glee members in the hall she heard parts of their conversations: "Can you believe her? Honestly, she needs to learn to shut up" from Kurt.

"Honestly, I don't think I can take her ramblings any longer" came from Mercedes

"I wish there was someway to just make her shut the fuck up" Santana was mumbling behind them to Brittany.

Rachel couldn't take anymore, she ran out of the building with tears streaming down her face. She couldn't believe that they would say those thing to her or about her. It hurt even more that Finn didn't even bother to stand up for her. He just sat there agreeing with them.

For the third time, Rachel failed to notice the Cheerio that was not laughing with everyone else, but instead was watching her closely with a frown on her face. She knew something was going on with the diva, but she couldn't yet put her finger on it.

Rachel ran to her car and made it back to her house in record time. She didn't even think about twice about breaking the speed limit or practically ignoring stop signs. All she wanted to do was be home.

When she got home, she tore open the door and slammed and locked it behind her before bolting to her bathroom as the nausea washed over her. She just made it to the toilet as the entire contents of her stomach spilled into it as she cried. She vaguely heard her phone ringing as someone pounded on the front door. She knew it was Finn, but she honestly did not want to deal with him.

She flushed the contents of the toilet away and turned on the bath water. She walked to her room and hit the play button on her iHome. She really didn't care what was play as long as there was some sort of noise. She went back to the bathroom and stripped off her clothes before opening the drawer of the vanity and pulling out the razor blade from the previous day. She stepped into the hot bath water and turned off the facet. As she sunk down into the water she tore off the bandage covering her cuts. This time, Rachel didn't even think twice as she drug the blade across her arm repeatedly. She watched the blood seep out and smiled as she realized that these cuts were deeper then the night before. She felt like she was in a trance as she drug the blade across her arm 10 times without any concern. She set the razor blade down and watched as the bath water started to turn pink from the amount of blood coming out of her arm.

Rachel sat in her bath of blood and tears for another 15 minutes before her breathing returned to normal, the tears stopped falling, and the bleeding slowed considerably down. She drained the tub of water and turned the shower on to wash away the remains.

After a quick shower she put a fresh layer of ointment on her now ravaged arm and wrapped it in gauze since a band-aid was not going to cover it this time. She knew she would be wearing long sleeves for a while as the cuts healed, but she didn't care. All she cared about was that she felt a lot better. She put her pajamas on and checked her phone. She had three misses calls and two texts from Finn. All of which were begging her to call him. She sent him a message that said she was fine and just wasn't feeling too good and was going to call it an early night. In actuality, she decided to get most of her homework for the week out of the way so she wouldn't have to worry about it.

After two hours of work, she decided to call it quits. She turned off the lights and crawled into bed. The clock told her it was only 8:30, but she was glad to be getting a large amount of sleep for the second day in a row.

This time however, she was not going to tell herself that she would never to it again.


	4. Rachel's Week from Hell Wednesday

_Rachel's Week from Hell - Wednesday_

Rachel's alarm went off at its usual 6am playing Just Dance by Lady GaGa. This time, Rachel didn't jump out of bed. Instead, she slammed her hand down on the snooze button before she re-set the alarm for seven. She wasn't in the mood to work out and since she knew she had dance class later, she was more then willing to let herself forgo one morning on the elliptical.

Seven came around way too fast for Rachel's liking, but she begrudgingly pulled the blankets off and go out of bed. Her shower was quick and she gently cleaned the cuts from the last two nights before apply a fresh layer of ointment and wrapping more gauze around her arm. She really did not want to go to school today, but she wasn't going to let her perfect attendance record go to waste.

She put on her usual short skirt and a long sleeved blouse. She didn't really want to wear a skirt, but she decided that it would be best if she didn't draw anymore attention to herself today. She also was not in the mood for breakfast, even though she really had not eaten since breakfast on Monday, considering she threw everything up after school yesterday. She grabbed her weeks worth of homework off her desk before placing it into her bag. She walked to the kitchen for a bottle of water before heading off to school.

As she got out of her Jeep in the student parking lot, she placed her usual smile on her face so no one would know that she wasn't okay. Plus, the fact that there was no Glee club until Friday made the smile just a bit bigger. She refused to show any sign of weakness to her tormenters. They would never know that they were getting to her, mainly because it would probably just encourage them even more.

Finn was waiting for her again at her locker but had a look of concern on his face "Hey Rach, how are you feeling?"

"Much better now Finn. Thank you." she told him as upbeat as she could muster.

After getting rid of her bag and getting her books for her first class, Finn put his arm around her shoulders and walked her to her first class.

For the second day in a row, Rachel managed to avoid any slushies or jocks. (Again, thanks to Quinn keeping a close eye on the tiny brunette, without her knowledge of course.) This surprised her, but she simply brushed it off. However, Finn was very clingingly for the second day straight, that on the other hand, was odd to her. Sure Finn was usually a very doting boyfriend, but he had never acted this way towards her. It was almost as if he was trying to make up for doing something wrong.

After finally peeling Finn off of her for the umpteenth time that day, she was able to get rid of the last of her books.

"So Rach, do you want to go do something? Made have dinner and hit the movies?" Finn asked her.

Rachel sighed, this was going to be the tenth time she had to explain this to him "I can't Finn. You know I have dance classes on Wednesday nights. I cut my classes down to Wednesdays only since we started dating again so we could spend more time together. Pick another night this week and I'll be more then happy to go."

It took Finn a few moments to process what she had just said before it dawned on him "Oh yea, I forgot. How about Friday night we can go after Glee?"

Rachel nodded in agreement before standing on her tip-toes as he leaned down to give her one last kiss for the day. Rachel then turned and made her way to her Jeep to head to the dance studio.

As she entered the studio, she found herself relieved at the fact that she knew nothing could go wrong here. She was thankful for some exercise in hopes that it would make her feel better. She was the best in the class and everyone knew it. She grabbed her dance bag out of the backseat before making her way to the changing rooms, thankful that she was early and that no one was in the room yet. She quickly stripped her clothes off before pulling on her tights and a long sleeved leotard.

After she changed, she headed over to her usual dance room only to find a note on the door "All classes for tonight have been CANCELED due to teacher illness." Rachel groaned and the small amount of happiness she had managed to find that day slipped away. She went back to the locker room and pull her skirt and blouse on over her tights and leotard and decided to call Finn.

Rachel made her way back to her Jeep as she pulled out her cell phone to call Finn. He answered her after six rings "Hey Rach, I thought you had dance class?"

"I did but it was canceled. I guess my teacher is sick. Do you still want to go to dinner and a movie?"

"Crap… Uhmm, sorry Rach, but since you were busy I made plans with Puck and Mike." "Oh, ok well have fun. I'll see you tomorrow then. Bye Finn."

Finn didn't reply, just hung up.

Rachel sighed and put her key in the ignition and turned it. Nothing. Not a sound. "No! Come on! Don't do this to me! Please!" She tried a few more times but it refused to turn over for her. She swallowed the tears that were starting to form in her eyes and started digging for her AAA card in the glove box. After placing a call to them, she stuck her headphones in her ears and shut her eyes to wait.

45 minutes and about 20 songs later, AAA finally showed up. The man told her that she had a dead battery and he would give her a jump. He told her that she needed to buy a new battery today to avoid this happening again, since it was in bad shape. Thankful for his advice, he gave her a jump and she drove off to the nearest auto parts shop.

As she walked into the shop and explained to the man behind the desk that she needed a battery and answered the questions about the specifics of her car, he told her that that particular battery was out of stock and would be in tomorrow.

This was the last straw for her "I can't believe that and auto parts store could be out of batteries! What kind of place is this? What about people like me that have cars that probably aren't going to start again and had to get a jump just to make it here? What am I supposed to do? Don't you think that maybe you should keep better track of your parts inventory and maybe order things when you realized that you were on your last few? Is that really such a had thing to do? Ugh!"

The man had taken a few steps back from the counter as she started her rant. When she was finished he told her he would check again and see if they had one that would work until the correct one came in.

Lucky for the man (probably more then her) there was one battery that would suffice until the following day. He told her that he would go out and install the battery for her and charged her for the battery she would be receiving tomorrow.

Rachel finally made it home around 6:30 and decided she wasn't in the mood for dinner, even though she had skipped lunch that day claiming to not be hungry. She took a bottle of water from the fridge and decided to get on the elliptical to take out her frustrations for of the day. She was hoping it would work and she wouldn't need to use the blade again tonight.

She worked on the machine for 2 hours before she was finally calm enough to sleep, not to mention exhausted. She preformed her usually nightly routine of washing her face, brushing her teeth, and the new steps involved in cleaning her arm, before getting in her pajamas. She was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.


	5. Rachel's Week from Hell Thursday

_Rachel's Week from Hell - Thursday_

Rachel's alarm came way to soon on Thursday morning for her liking. Today's song? You Don't Know from Next to Normal. She was still in a foul mood from the past three days and did not want to face the day. But, Rachel being Rachel, decided she needed to get up and hit the elliptical in hopes cheering herself up.

30 Minutes later? Nothing. She gave up with the elliptical. She was still extremely frustrated and wanted to scream. She decided that she was going to use the razor this morning. She managed to make it an entire day without cutting yesterday, but today it was not going to happen. She wanted, no, needed the high she felt as she felt the blade cut into her skin as she watched the blood drip out. She practically ran to her bathroom to find her new best friend, tearing her clothes off as she went.

As she removed the gauze wrapped around her sliced up left arm, and found herself smiling at the 15 cuts that currently residing there. She decided to use her right arm this morning, wanting fresh skin to slice into. She also decided that she wanted a fresh, sharp, new blade for the morning as well. She pressed a little harder then normal and pulled the blade across her skin.

This time, the blood was instantaneous. She eyes widened as she watched it come to the surface of her skin before running down her arm and into the sink.

She placed the blade back to her arm and added another 4 cuts that were just as deep as the first. The sink was turning red from the amount of blood dripping into it.

Rachel sighed in as relief and calm washed over her. She turned the tap on and rinsed out the sink and washed off her arm. It was still bleeding a fair amount, but she got in the shower since the blood would just wash down the drain anyway.

After she showered, her dried off the best she could with a still slightly bleeding arm. She applied a small amount of pressure to the wounds to help curb the rest of the bleeding. She put a layer of ointment on the fresh wounds and wrapped her arm in an extra layer of gauze just to be safe. She added ointment to her left arm and decided to leave it unwrapped since the 15 cuts were scabbing up a bit and could use a little air.

Since she was feeling a lot better, she decided on a pair of jeans, white t-shirt, and sneakers. She decided she didn't mind if she drew a little attention to herself today since she was now feeling great. She also noticed she was hungry for the first time in days. She grabbed her bag and ran downstairs to the kitchen. She made herself a large breakfast and protein shake. After shoveling her food in, she decided to head off to school.

As Rachel walked to her locker, she saw Quinn walking towards her. Rachel immediately diverted her eyes in hopes that Quinn would just ignore her and act as if she wasn't there. She was stunned when a "Hi Rachel" came out of Quinn's mouth.

"Uhh.. Hi?" was all she could manage.

Quinn just smiled and walked away leaving Rachel completely confused.

She finally regained her composure and made her way to her locker. Finn was once again waiting on her to arrive. He gave her a quick kiss "Are we still on for tomorrow night?" "Of course Finn!" After Rachel changed out her books, Finn walked her to class and gave her one more kiss before leaving her.

As soon as Finn walked away, Santana passed her "You know Stubbles, just because you ditched the skirts for a day, doesn't mean anything. You're still a freak and you always will be."

Rachel just rolled her eyes at Santana's comment and walked into her class. She was still on her high from this morning and she wasn't going to let Santana get under her skin.

Rachel's morning passed as it had been for the past two days. Not one slushy or look from any of the jocks. She got a few comments on her state of dress from Kurt, Mercedes, and a few more insults from Santana. They were all basically the same, that she'll always be a freak regardless of her dress and that her change of clothes still won't make anyone like her. Again, she let the comments roll off her back.

Rachel decided to eat lunch today since she was hungry again, which surprised her with the amount of food her had eaten this morning. She walked to the cafeteria and ordered a large salad and bottle of apple juice. She headed over the her and Finn's usual table and sat down next to him. She received a few more comments and hateful remarks. Finn however, either wasn't paying attention or was too concerned with himself to stick up for her. This one she couldn't let go of. He was her boyfriend! He was supposed to stick up for her and yet he did nothing.

The rest of the afternoon went the same as the morning had. Finn practically attached to her and the jocks and slushies avoiding her like the plague.

School finally ended and Finn gave her one last kiss before heading off to football practice and Rachel headed out the door to the parking lot. As she walked towards the lot, she noticed a group of jocks standing off to the side looking at her. Her heart began to race as she walked a little bit faster to her Jeep. The jocks were on her very quickly and one of them threw her over his shoulder. The rest of the group walked around the two of them as they made their way towards the dumpster. One of the others had their hand over her mouth to muffle her screams to the empty parking lot.

Rachel was terrified as they carried her towards the dumpster. She was scared of what they would do to her. She didn't know if she was about to get beaten up, just tormented, or worse. When they made it to the dumpster, they jock carrying her grabbed a hold of her right arm and used it to drop her into the dumpster off his shoulder.

Quinn was just walking out of the building when she caught sight of the group walking towards the dumpster. She walked a little faster trying to get a glimpse of their next victim. All she managed to catch sight of was long brunette hair as the girl was thrown inside. She knew immediately who it was. She watched as the jocks high-fived each other as they walked away laughing. She ran towards it since they were now gone.

As Quinn approached the dumpster, she could hear the muffled sounds of Rachel sobbing. She stood up on the ledge and looked in. Her heart broke at the sight of Rachel.

She was sitting with her knees pulled into her chest with her face in her arms crying. Quinn could see her body trembling from the strength of the sobs and she couldn't help but notice how small the tiny girl looked. "Rachel" she tried to sound strong, but her voice came out as more of a whisper.

Rachel's head immediately shot up to see who had discovered her crying in the dumpster. Her eyes grew when she noticed it was Quinn. She braced herself for the slew of insults that she knew would be coming.

Rachel was even more shocked when not one word came out of Quinn's mouth, but rather a hand was extended toward her. She was weary of taking it, as she was expecting Quinn to just shove her back down.

Quinn noticed the apprehension in the other girl "Come here Rach. I'm not going to hurt you. I promise. I'm just going to help you get out."

Rachel noticed the sincerity in her voice and reluctantly took Quinn's hand.

With a little help from the taller girl, Rachel finally managed to get out of the dumpster. Quinn immediately wrapped her arms around the still crying diva. She felt Rachel tense up in her arms and immediately loosed her grip and looked down at the girl.

Rachel brought her right hand up to wipe her face off and that's when Quinn noticed the blood. "Quinn, thank you for the help. I'm terribly sorry you had to see that. I'm just going to-"

"Rachel, are you hurt?" Quinn interrupted her.

"No, I'm fine Quinn"

"Then why are you bleeding?" She asked pointing to the girl's arm.

Rachel froze and immediately realized that her cuts from this morning must have opened up when he grabbed her arm to throw her in. She took a breath to try and keep her cool. "Oh, I didn't notice that. I guess I just hit it on my way in. I think I'll just got home now and clean it up. Plus I really don't want the blood to stain."

"Rachel, let me see. There's a lot of blood and you might need some stitches." Quinn said as she reached for the diva's arm.

Rachel immediately pulled away from Quinn and moved her now sore arm behind her back. "No really Quinn, it's fine. I can deal with it at home. And if it does need stitches I can drive myself to the hospital. Thank you though." With that, Rachel grabbed her bag and ran to her Jeep.

Quinn was stunned at the girls reaction. She was confused since she was only trying to help. Why wouldn't she let her look? Then it dawned on Quinn "No, Rachel can't be doing that. She wouldn't do that. Would she?" she asked herself out loud. She promised herself she was going to find out what Rachel was up to and help her.

As Rachel made it to her car, she took a quick look at her arm. The gauze had ridden up and gave her a clear view. Three of the five cuts had opened back up and were now bleeding profusely. She started her car and took off towards home. She tore through the house and pulled her shirt off as she entered her bathroom. She turned on the cool water as she removed the now blood soaked gauze and ran her arm under the water as tears fell down her cheeks. She grabbed her bloody shirt and ran it under the water as well to help get the blood out. She was relieved to see that most of it washed out.

After taking the rest of her clothes off, she turned on the water as hot as she could stand and took a long shower to wash the dumpster grime off. When the water started to run cold, she turned it off and got out. She dried off and re-bandaged her right arm, adding a little more gauze then last time, just incase. She picked up her smelly clothes and the bloody shirt and tossed them into her laundry basket. She pulled on a pair of shorts and a long sleeved shirt before taking her laundry basket to the washer.

Rachel made her way back to her room after starting the wash. She curled into a ball onto of her covers and drifted off into a restless sleep about dumpsters and Quinn finding out about her secret. She vowed to be more careful next time.


	6. Rachel's Week from Hell Friday

_Rachel's Week From Hell - Friday_

Rachel's alarm went off at 6am sharp playing Totally Fucked from Spring Awakening. "Really? This is what I'm starting my day off with? So not looking forward to today in that case" she thought to herself. She preformed her workout, shower, and bandage routine that she had become accustomed to before pulling on a skirt and blouse. She decided to put a razor and some supplies in her bag just incase. She grabbed her bag and a quick breakfast and made her way to school, talking deep breaths along the way in hopes to calm her nerves, and the feeling that something wasn't right with the day.

When Rachel got to her locker, Finn was no where to be seen. She found this strange since he had been there every day since Tuesday. She found herself oddly relieved he wasn't there. As much as she loves him, his clingy ways had started to annoy her.

She gathered her books for her first class and headed off. She was early and not many other students were around. The hallways were eerily quiet except for the occasional locker slam. Something that didn't help calm her.

As Rachel rounded the corner, she hear what sounded like a moan coming from the nearest room. Worried that someone might be hurt, she peaked in the door and gasped at what she saw.

Finn was sitting on a desk with one of the Cheerios straddling his lap as they made out. Finn was in no way trying to push the girl off of him. In fact, he was wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer to him. Rachel could hear their conversation in-between kissed.

"See Finn, isn't making out with me so much better then with that hobbit?"

"Yea, much."

"When are you going to ditch It already? It'll be easer to not have to hide this any longer. Sleeping with you last weekend was amazing."

"Yea, it was. She won't even let me touch her boobs under her shirt. You are so much better then she will ever be."

Rachel couldn't take any more of the conversation. She walked to her first class feeling completely numb. She took her seat beside Quinn and didn't even wonder why or how she had beat her there.

Rachel stared blankly at the wall in front of her, slightly trembling. She was conflicted and wasn't sure what to feel. She was hurt, angry, and confused about Finn. She wanted to scream, cry, or throw something. Most of all she wanted to cut. More then anything she wanted to cut.

Quinn noticed Rachel's staring and trembling and was starting to get worried.

"Rachel?"

"…"

She tried again a little louder "Rachel!"

"What Quinn?" Rachel's voice came out quieter and not as strong as she and hoped.

"Are you ok? What's going on?"

"What do you care? Want something else to use against me and tear me down with?"

"No, Rachel, I-"

She was cut off by Rachel getting her bag and walking out of the room.

Rachel couldn't take it any longer, and Quinn asking questions was not helping. She headed to the nearest bathroom. She slammed the door shut and checked under every stall for feet. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw none, and locked herself in the last stall and sat on the toilet lid.

She wasted no time in pulling the razor out, immediately rolling up the sleeve of her right arm. She pressed down and slid the blade across her arm, breathing a sigh of relief as the blood came out. This time she only added two cuts. She was still aware that she was in school and would not be able to cover them if she did more.

She put the blade back into her bag and pulled out her supply kit. She quickly cleaned and bandaged her arm before cleaning up. She felt so much better and was ready to deal with Finn later in Glee club. She already knew exactly what song she would be singing to him.

Rachel unlocked the stall door and headed back to class, thankful that the bell hadn't rang yet, so she would not be late.

She took her same seat next to Quinn, who immediately looked at her. Rachel gave her a small smile and subconsciously pulled her sleeve down a little farther. Quinn's worst fears were confirmed when she saw this. She knew what Rachel was doing. She knew she needed to help the tiny diva.

"Rachel"

"Yes Quinn"

"Uhmm.. Never mind" Quinn wasn't sure what to say, and bringing it up in a crowed classroom was probably not the best idea. She didn't know how Rachel would react. "Actually Rachel, can we talk later? Please?"

"Sure Quinn. We'll talk after Glee"

When the bell rang signaling the end of class, Rachel bolted out the door to her locker.

Unfortunately, Finn was there waiting for her.

"Hi Rach. I missed you this morning."

"Yea, I got her early and decided to just go to class"

"Oh ok." He leaned down to kiss her, but Rachel turned her head and pulled away from him.

"Not now Finn" She said before slamming her locker closed and storming away, leaving Finn in shock. He couldn't figure out what was going on with her. He couldn't think of anything he had done wrong since yesterday.

To Finn's surprise, he couldn't find Rachel for the rest of the day. She was rather stealthy and very good at being invisible when she needed to be. He decided to head to Glee early in hopes to see her before everyone else got there.

To Finn's dismay, she wasn't in there yet. He took his usual seat in the front row and decided to wait for her. The rest of the Glee club slowly trickled in, but no Rachel.

Five minutes after Glee club was supposed to start, Rachel walked in the room. Finn smiled and looked at her. She sent him a glare wand went to sit in an open seat next to Quinn, surprising both Quinn and Finn. He turned around and looked at her. She didn't even bother to acknowledge him.

Mr. Schue walked in and looked around.

"Ok guys, time for songs. Who would like to go first?"

Rachel's hand shot up and the rest of the room groaned

"Ok Rachel, lets see what you've got. You're singing to Finn, correct?"

"Yes Mr. Schue, that's correct."

"Anything you would like to say before you sing?"

"No, I think it's pretty self explanatory."

"Ok then, whenever you're ready."

Rachel nodded to the band and the music began to play.

_Here's the thing_

_We started out friends_

_It was cool, but it was all pretend_

_Yeah, yeah, since you been gone_

_You're dedicated, you took the time_

_Wasn't long 'til I called you mine_

_Yeah, yeah, since you been gone_

_And all you'd ever hear me say_

_Is how I picture me with you_

_That's all you'd ever hear me say_

_But since you been gone_

_I can breathe for the first time_

_I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah_

_Thanks to you, now I get what I want_

_Since you been gone_

She looked at Finn and saw confusion on his face

_How can I put it, you put me on_

_I even fell for that stupid love song_

_Yeah, yeah, since you been gone_

_How come I'd never hear you say_

_I just wanna be with you_

_Guess you never felt that way_

_But since you been gone_

_I can breathe for the first time_

_I'm so movin' on, yeah, yeah_

_Thanks to you, now I get, I get what I want_

_Since you been gone_

Rachel watched as realization started to dawn on Finn

_You had your chance, you blew it_

_Out of sight, out of mind_

_Shut your mouth, I just can't take it_

_Again and again and again and again_

She could tell that Finn was now pissed at this point

_Since you been gone (since you been gone)_

_I can breathe for the first time_

_I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah_

_Thanks to you (thanks to you)_

_Now I get, I get what I want_

_I can breathe for the first time_

_I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah_

_Thanks to you (thanks to you)_

_Now I get (I get)_

_You should know (you should know) that I get_

_I get what I want_

_Since you been gone_

_Since you been gone_

_Since you been gone_

Finn stood up as soon as the song ended

"What the hell Rachel? You're breaking up with me?"

"You're damn right I am Finn!" The rest of the group gasped at Rachel's use of the word, but she ignored them.

"How could you do this to me Rachel? After everything we've gone through!"

"You want to play that card Finn? Fine. This is your fault. You cheated on me! I saw you this morning with one of the Cheerios. I heard your conversation about sleeping with her last weekend. I saw that you made no move to push her away and that you were pulling her closer!"

"Rachel.. Let me explain"

"NO Finn, you don't get to explain. We're through. I don't want to speak to you non-the-less even be friends with you again."

"Oh and Hobbit?"

"What Santana?"

"I took his v-card when you were with St. Jackass, he's been lying to you about that one too." she said as if this were boring her

"What! You know what Finn, screw you! And as for the rest of you" she sneered at the rest of the club "I'm sick of all of you. I'm tired of your insults and trying to tear me down. I'm done with you and I'm done with this club. I quit Glee. Good luck winning Sectionals without me!"

"Now Rachel, lets not" Will cut in

"No, you don't get a say in this Schue. You sit there everyday and belittle me just like they do. You never stop them from saying things about me or to me. And heaven forbid I try and add in a point to make a suggestion, you try and tell me that I'm not being a team player and I need to just hush. And yet you protect every one of them and let them make their comments and then yell at me if I say anything. So no, you don't get a say in this. I'm done."

Rachel grabbed her bag before storming out of the room.

"She is such a diva. Always trying to get attention and things she way" Kurt said

"Seriously. She really needs to get over herself" from Mercedes.

"What if she doesn't come back? What are we going to do about sectionals?" Tina asked.

Mercedes jumped in to answer "Oh please, by Tuesday she'll be begging to come back."

By this point, Quinn had had enough "No, she won't be back. Can't you guys pull your heads out of you asses long enough to realize that she's done with all of you. That she's sick of all the shit you've put her through? That she wants nothing to do with you anymore? Hum? Know what, Rachel's right, good luck winning when your two people down. I quit." Quinn then followed Rachel's lead and stormed out of the room.

The rest of the club sat in silence at what had just happened.

"Uhmm.. Ok, I think we've all had enough for the day. Go home guys. See you next week. Will managed to say.

(Rachel meanwhile)

After storming out of Glee club, Rachel immediately headed straight for her car. She couldn't be at school for another minute. She had tears pouring down her face and just needed out. She knew she didn't want to go home to an empty house, so she decided on the park, figuring that it would be deserted about this time anyway.

She floored her gas petal and made it there in record time. She shoved her keys in a pocket before digging out her ipod and walking towards the lake. She didn't notice the woman with an infant sitting a few hundred feet away from her.

(Quinn during the same time period)

After walking out of Glee, Quinn made her way into the nearest bathroom, just incase Rachel and went there first. Nothing. She tried the Rachel's locker next. Nothing. She decided to check the parking lot. Not one sign of her or her Jeep. Quinn knew that she must have taken off already. Quinn ran to her car and headed off to Rachel's house.

Rachel's car wasn't in the driveway and no one was home.

"Shit. Where is she?"

She got an idea to try the park and took off.

Quinn pulled into the parking lots minutes later and recognized Rachel's Jeep sitting there. Quinn got out and walked towards the lake where she noticed a small figure sitting by the water.

When Quinn got to Rachel, she could see that her knees were pulled into her chest with the face buried into her arms. The same position she found her in the day before in the dumpster. She could see her body shaking as she sobbed.

Quinn sat down next to her and gently touched her arm. "Rach?"

Rachel jumped at the contact and looked at Quinn, wiping the tears out of her eyes.

"What do you want Quinn. Here to finish what everyone else started? Go ahead. I don't care."

"No Rachel, I'm not. Actually, I wanted to apologize to you. For everything. I'm so sorry Rachel. I wish I would have seen it sooner."

"Just save it Quinn, I really don't want to hear it." Rachel got up and stormed back to her Jeep and took off. Quinn sat there frozen and not really sure what to do. She decided to just leave Rachel be and let her calm down, praying that she didn't do anything stupid as she walked back to her car and left.

Neither girl realized that Shelby and Beth were sitting not far from them and Shelby watched their every move.

Shelby was confused when she saw Rachel flop down on the grass and pull herself into a ball. She wanted to go over and talk to her but couldn't find the courage to. She then saw Quinn walk down next to Rachel. Shelby was relieved that someone was there for Rachel. However, when she noticed Rachel starting to yell, she knew something wasn't right. After Rachel stormed off, she knew for sure.

Rachel drove around Lima and a few other towns for two hours before deciding to go home.

Rachel headed straight for her bathroom, turning on the shower as hot as she could tolerate, before stripping off her clothes and stepping in. The water soothed her tired body as more sobs escaped, causing Rachel to sink to the floor of the tub.

When the water started to run cold, she shut it off and stepped out. She opened the vanity drawer and looked at the package of razor blades, but decided to forgo it. She was too tired and really didn't want to deal with cleaning up after. She pulled on the pajamas still sitting on the bed from that morning and curled into a ball on the bed. Immediately, she succumbed to sleep as it washed over her.


	7. Rachel's Week from Hell Saturday

_Rachel's Week from Hell - Saturday_

Rachel woke up around 4am in a cold sweat gasping for breath from a nightmare that she couldn't remember. She rolled out of bed and cautiously walked to the bathroom. She splashed some cool water on her face to wash off the sweat. She looked at herself in the mirror, she looked exhausted and dark circles were starting to show under her eyes. Sighing at herself, she went back to her bed, deciding that sleep was more important, she turned off her weekend alarm, rolled over, and went back to sleep.

Six hours later she woke up to Defying Gravity blasting from her phone. She groaned at the rude awakening and snatched her phone off the night table, dropping it in the process "shit" she muttered under her breath, not really caring at the use of profanity at this point.

She retrieved her phone from under the bed and smiled when she saw it was her dad. They had been gone for a week now in London and she was excited to hear from them.

"Hi dad!"

"Hi sweetheart. How are you?"

"I'm great, no complaints. Are you two having fun in London?"

"Oh yes we are. It's beautiful here. Especially at night. All the lights are gorgeous."

"Aww, well I'm glade that you're having fun."

"Yea, listen babe, I have some bad news."

"What? Is everything ok? Are you both ok?"

"Calm down sweetie, everything is fine. Things are going so well here with the company, we've been asked to stay for another week to keep things moving."

"Oh, well that's great news!" She was glad that he couldn't see her smile fade or the tears start to prickle in her eyes.

"I'm really sorry sweetie, but we really couldn't turn down the offer."

"Don't worry, I understand completely." _No I don't _she thought to herself.

"Well good. Anyway, we've put some money in your bank account. You're probably starting to get low on food, and you'll need some more for next week. We don't want you to starve. We put a little extra in as well, just incase. You're welcome to use it on anything you need or even want. It's up to you."

"Ok dad, thanks. And you're right, I am starting to run a little low on food and probably won't make it though the week without shopping."

"Alright baby girl, I need to get back to work."

"I love you dad. Tell daddy the same."

"I will. Bye sweetie."

"Bye dad"

As soon as Rachel shut her phone, the tears spilled over. Lately, she was starting to wonder if they had regrets about having her. They were never around much anymore. Business trips and vacations for the two of them had started taking over. They spend no more then a week home a month, and it was never even a week straight, it was more like a few days here and there. Rachel started talking to herself at this point.

"Do they not care anymore? They're my dads, they are supposed to be around for me. They are supposed to be here and not gallivanting around the country leaving me alone for weeks at a time. What did I do that was so wrong that I deserve this? I hate being alone. I want them home. Of course I would never tell them that, but still. I need them more then anything. This week has been horrible, and now this? I can't take much more of this." A few sobs escaped Rachel's mouth. "Rachel, stop talking to yourself and grow up. Get up and stop crying, it won't fix anything." She told herself.

Rachel glanced at her clock, realizing that it was now 10:30, she decided to get moving for the day.

She turned on her iHome, threw on some workout clothes, and got on her elliptical where she stayed for the next hour and a half.

* * *

When Rachel finally came back down to earth from whatever her brain had floated off to, she noticed it was now noon and she was soaked in sweat. She decided that a bath work feel good after a long workout, especially with the way her morning had gone.

She stripped her clothes off as she walked to her bathroom. Turning the warm water, she added some lavender bubble bath to the swirling water.

Decided there was enough water in the tub, she shut off the faucet and climbed in, relishing in the feel as the hot water incased her body. She sighed deeply and sunk down into the tub until the water was up to her chin. She found herself grateful for the large tub that her dads had surprised her with for her birthday the previous year. The tub was big enough that she could stretch fully out comfortably.

Rachel laid in the tub and stared at her arms as she lightly traced the cuts. She stayed this way for a half hour before the water was starting to get chilly. Having decided that she had wasted enough time she quickly washed up and got out. She wrapped a fluffy pink towel around herself as she walked into her bedroom. She wasn't planning on leaving the house today, having decided that she would shop tomorrow, she put on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. She put a layer of ointment on her battered arms and didn't bother to wrap them since there was no reason for her to hide them.

Making her way to the kitchen, she opened the fridge and realized that she was lower on food then she had originally thought. She found a bag of salad mix and a bottle of dressing. She got a bowl from the cabinet and poured the salad in. She moved to sit on the living room couch and turned on Funny Girl, in hopes that it would cheer her up.

* * *

Two and a half hours and two salads later, the movie was over. Rachel was disappointed when she still didn't feel any better.

Defeated, she took her bowl to the kitchen and washed it before heading upstairs to get her homework, figuring that she may as well get it done and over with.

* * *

She sat on the floor of the living room, using the coffee table as her writing space. She decided to turn on the Broadway version of RENT, and settled in for the long hall.

Rachel managed to get all of her homework for the weekend, and most of the week done before the 10 minute intermission rolled around. Relieved to be so far ahead, she made herself a cup of tea and stretched onto the couch to finish the show.

Upset, exhausted, and depressed, Rachel was asleep before intermission was over.


	8. Rachel's Week from Hell Sunday, Pt 1

_Rachel's Week from Hell - Sunday, Part 1_

Rachel awoke around 3am, confused to why she was in the living room until she noticed the homework spread about the table and the blue screen of the television and realized she had fallen asleep. She sat up with a groan as her back popped from the position she had fallen asleep in. She flipped off the tv, took her now cold cup of tea to the kitchen, and climbed the stairs to her decided to turn her alarm on since she needed to grocery shop later in the day and fell into her bed, not bothering to change out of her laid in bed thinking about her dads and how much she wished they were home with her, asleep down the hall. After an hour of being awake she became frustrated that she couldn't fall back asleep. And begin talking to herself again"Rachel, shut up. Stop thinking so much. They'll be home next week. Just go to sleep. Great Rach, talking to yourself again. Fantastic. You really are going crazy."She laid in bed for another hour staring blankly at the ceiling as she cried. She finally gave in, wanting nothing more then a trance like state, she made her way to the bathroom. She knew exactly what she was going to do.

Opening the drawer, she pulled out the razor and felt the cool metal against her hand as she ran her finger lovingly over the blade. Knowing that it was getting harder to hide her arms, she pulled her sweat pants off and kicked them to the corner. Since the weather was getting colder, she had the prefect excuse to start wearing jeans instead of skirts.

Looking at her self in the mirror, she watch as she brought the blade down to her right thigh. She took a deep breath as she pushed down on the razor and drug it across her thigh. Still looking at the mirror, she watched as the blood dripped out of her leg. She put the blade back to her leg and began to add to the first cut.

Rachel continued to stare at herself as she sliced her thigh open another 12 times, finally stopping when she realized that she was starting to feel slightly woozy from the loss of blood.

When Rachel snapped back to reality, she looked down to see the damage. She first noticed the large pool of blood that she was standing in. As her eyes traveled upwards, she saw the streaks of blood still running down her leg, When her eyes landed on her thigh, she saw the 13 large gashes. Gashes that were still bleeding heavily. They were deeper then any of the previous ones. She stared in awe as the combination of relief and dizziness came over her.

Steadying herself with her hand on the counter, she grabbed a washcloth sitting on the sink. She soaked it in cold water and pressed it to her thigh. She hissed at the pain as the cloth made contact with her torn skin. Deciding to take the pressure of her weight off of her leg, she plopped onto the toilet lid and propped her leg up on the side of the bathtub, adding more pressure to her leg.

After holding the cloth in place for five minutes, she slowly pulled it off. The bleeding had finally stopped. She twisted and leaned to rinse the cloth out in the sink before using it to wash off the dried blood on her leg.

Opening the drawer that held her razors, she pulled out her bandage kit. She put a layer of ointment on her leg and wrapped a few layers of gauze around her thigh and taped it in place.

She stood up carefully and winced at the pain as she put her weight on the leg. She moved to the floor to wipe up the blood before it became too dry.

Standing up carefully once again, she rinsed the cloth out and tossed it into the hamper..

Rachel limped back to her bed, relieved at the feeling of sleepiness finally coming back to her.

She looked at the clock and noticed that it was already 6am, groaning when she realized her alarm would be going off in just 2 hours. Knowing that there would be no way she could handle the elliptical, she re-set the alarm for 10, deciding that sleeping in would be a better idea.


	9. Rachel's Week from Hell Sunday, Pt 2

_Rachel's Week from Hell - Sunday, Part 2_

The alarm rang at 10am on the dot playing Mamma Who Bore Me. "What's with the Spring Awakening lately?" Rachel thought to herself as she got out of bed. She had forgotten about the new cuts until she stood up and pain shot through her leg, causing her to immediately sit back down. She looked at her leg, realizing that she never put her pants back on, and noticed she had bleed through the gauze at some point. She quickly turned to look at her sheets and saw that the blood had made it onto her sheets as well. She groaned and tried standing up again, this time with more success.

She stripped the sheets off the bed and shoved them into the hamper, taking it downstairs with her to the laundry room. She set the washer on cold and threw the hamper contents into the sudsy water.

Rachel found a bowl of fruit in the fridge and walked to the living room. As she ate, she cleaned up the mass of homework on the table, organizing it before putting it neatly into her bag. The washer was done as she finished.

Placing her bowl back into the kitchen, she walked to the washer. As she pulled her clothes and sheets out, she was relieved to see that the blood had washed out, leaving no traces of evidence. Smiling, she moved the laundry to the dryer.

Rachel then went back upstairs to shower, whether she wanted to or not, she knew she needed to go to the store for food.

* * *

After a hot shower and re-bandaging her cuts, she found a loose pair of jeans and a tank top to put on. She did her hair and make-up before pulling on a hoodie to cover her arms.

She made another trip to the laundry room to fold the now warm and dry clothes, deciding to make her bed and put the clothes away when she got home. She grabbed her keys and took off to her favorite vegetarian/vegan grocery store, about a half hour away from home.

She drove in silence, enjoying the peace and quiet, along with the soft hum of the engine as it soothed her.

* * *

When Rachel arrived to the store, she parked next to a black SUV, that for some reason, looked familiar. She shrugged it off thinking that there's probably a few dozen of them around the town and that it meant nothing.

She wondered inside, grabbed a shopping cart, and started wondering through the aisles. She liked the store because everything was vegetarian/vegan, and she didn't have to spend much time reading ingredient contents, considering most were marked as either "vegetarian" or "vegan".

After walking around for nearly 40 minutes, Rachel wanted to make a stop in the fruit section before calling it a day. She pushed her cart over to the apples and began putting a few into a bag, not noticing the woman standing across from her.

"Rachel?"

Rachel would know her voice anywhere. She swallowed hard and looked up.

"Hello Shelby."

"Uhmm… How are you?"

"Fine."

"What are you doing all the way out here? And where are your dads?"

"This is the best place to come for vegan food." She decided to not answer the second question of Shelby's.

"Oh, ok. I-"

Shelby was cut off by a noise coming from her cart, causing both her and Rachel to look. Rachel hadn't noticed the baby in Shelby's cart sitting in her car seat. Immediately, Rachel recognized the infant.

"You replaced me! And with my worst enemy's kid!" Rachel almost screamed.

Shelby looked around and saw that no one was around them.

Rachel noticed this action. "What Shelby? Don't want anyone to know that you replaced your own kid with one from a pair of teenage parents? Seriously Shelby? You hate me that much that you would adopt my worst enemy's baby? After I told you everything she's done to me for years? You replace me with her kid?"

"Rachel, I-"

"NO. You don't get a say in this. I wanted more then anything for you to be my mom. But no, you wanted to be selfish. You made it so I would find you by using Jessie, getting my hopes up, getting me to find what I've always wanted, and then you decided I'm not what you wanted, so you just dump me like yesterdays garbage. Did you ever stop to think for one minute how I felt? How I wished every single night that I would find my mother someday? How much I needed you in my life? Know what Shelby, I wished that I had never found out who you were. All you've done is make things harder for me. I was still holding onto hope that maybe you would change your mind and come back for me, but I see you just replaced me instead. Heaven forbid you try to have a relationship with your own flesh and blood!" Rachel screeched at Shelby.

"I'm sorry Rachel. But you're grown up and you-"

"Don't even finish that sentence! I'm 16. How the hell am I grown up? Hum? Is it because I've basically been raising myself since I was 12 because my dad's aren't around? Or the fact that I have to do everything on my own because I have no friends?" Gee, I guess that does make me grown up. Seems to make me more grown up then you right now actually. I'm not the one who ran away scared, that was you Shelby."

Shelby's face had slowly fallen as Rachel's speech continued on.

"Rachel, I'm really sorry ok? I was selfish. You weren't what I was expecting. You weren't that little baby I was expecting to find."

"No, really? 16 years does strange things like that. You know what Shelby? I'm done with this conversation. I hope that I never see you again. It would be a lot easier on me to just pretend that you don't exist anymore."

With that Rachel walked away leaving Shelby speechless.

Rachel found the shortest line she could and paid for her food before leaving the store as fast as possible. As she was putting her bags into the trunk of her Jeep, the realization dawned on her. That was Shelby's car she was parked next to. No wonder it had looked so familiar to her.

* * *

Rachel went to return her cart to the store, and as she made her way back towards her Jeep, Shelby was putting her own bags into the SUV. "Fan-fucking-tastic" Rachel mumbled to herself.

Shelby noticed Rachel walking towards her and hoped that Rachel was coming to talk. However, Rachel didn't even glance at her. She simply pretended that she wasn't there and got into her own car and left. A single tear fell down Shelby's cheek. "I'm so sorry Rachel."

* * *

Rachel tried to refrain from crying as she drove home. She didn't want to get into an accident because she couldn't see the road. She took deep breaths and tried to shut out what had just happened.

When Rachel made it back to Lima, she caught a red light and couldn't hold back any longer. The tears came pouring out as she sat there waiting. As soon as the light turned green, she took off and made it the rest of the way home in record time.

* * *

What Rachel didn't noticed was the car stopped next to her at the light. A car containing one Quinn Fabray. Quinn watched Rachel as she cried at the stop light and became immediately concerned for the brunette. When Rachel took off when the light changed, Quinn knew she had to follow her.

Quinn had lost sight of Rachel, but assumed that she would be heading home.

As Quinn pulled into the driveway, she saw Rachel's car sitting there. She breathed a sigh of relief that she had made it home and also that she wouldn't have to chase her around town this time.

Quinn walked up to the front door and rang the bell, silently praying that Rachel would answer. She was in luck that only a few seconds later, the door opened to reveal a blotchy red faced and red eyed Rachel.

"What do you want Quinn?"

"I just, umm, I wanted to talk to you. Can I come in?"

"If you must." Rachel moved to the side to allow Quinn in.

"Can we sit somewhere?"

"Fine, kitchen. I still have groceries to put away. We can talk in there."

The girls walked towards the kitchen and Quinn couldn't help but look and smile at the pictures of Rachel that lined the hallway walls.

"Ok Quinn, you want to talk, lets talk. Guess who I saw today? Shelby, with your kid. Care to talk about that one?"

"Actually no, not really." Quinn softly said.

"Well that's too damn bad for you then, isn't it? You really hate me that much that you would give your kid to my mother? The one person I wanted more then anything to have a relationship with? The one person that could make me happy? But no, you've taken away that chance from me. You've ruined any chance I have with her because you gave her a replacement for me. What the hell did I ever do to you Quinn?"

"You didn't. I don't hate you Rachel." Rachel scoffed at the answer "I really don't. Shelby was just there saying she would take her.."

"And you had eight months to find a family to adopt her but you never "got around to it" is what you're trying to tell me? So you took the easy way out and hoped that someone would just show up there to take her? Never even bothering to think about how much it would hurt me in the process. You were there the day I realized she was my mother. You were there when I told everyone that she basically threw me aside. So thanks Quinn."

Quinn was starting to get angry and couldn't suppress the HBIC mode that came out.

"Rachel, I'm sorry that I was thinking of my daughter and trying to provide a good life for her. I'm sorry that I put her before you. But you know what? Too bad. You obviously weren't good enough for Shelby, not that I blame her for dumping you, God knows I would have done the same thing if I found out that you belonged to me!"

Quinn regretted the words as soon as the left her mouth. Well, most of them, not the part regarding Beth. Quinn saw as the tears formed and cascaded down Rachel's cheeks before she looked down at the counter.

"Shit, Rachel, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that. I really didn't. Look, the reason I came here was I wanted to talk to you about something. Are you hurting yourself Rachel?" Quinn noticed as Rachel immediately stiffened at the question.

"Fuck you Quinn. How dare you accuse me of that! What? Looking for something else to use against me now? Well you know what? That's too damn bad for you! Get the fuck out of my house before I call the police!"

"Rachel, please. I'm not going to use this against you. Please, let me help you!" Quinn begged.

"Help? Help? I think you've helped enough at destroying my life, thanks though. Now GET THE FUCK OUT! I will not tell you again!"

"Ok Rachel, I'm going. But this is not over yet. Far from it actually. I know what you're doing and I'm going to find a way to help you, even if you don't want me to. Just, please Rachel, don't do anything stupid. Please." Quinn begged. Rachel stood there glairing at Quinn, not moving a muscle. Quinn sighed and walked away and out of the house.

As soon as Rachel heard Quinn's car door slam, she fell to the floor as sobs ripped through her tiny body.

* * *

She laid curled up on the floor crying for an hour before the tears subsided enough for her to stand. She put away the rest of the food before heading upstairs to the bathroom.

Rachel pulled off her clothes until she was left only in her underwear. She took in her appearance. She had cuts on both arms and her right leg was still bandaged from that morning. She had lost weigh from the large amount of exercise she had been getting combined with the smaller amounts of food then normal. As she looked in the mirror, she realized how much she hated herself and that she really was completely alone.

* * *

Quinn had left Rachel's house in tears. Upset that Beth was brought up, that she had said those things to Rachel, and that she really didn't know what to do to help the girl. She decided that she would talk with Miss Pillsbury in the morning for help for Rachel. She was going to keep her word. She was going to help Rachel even if the diva didn't want the help. Quinn also promised herself that she was going to somehow earn Rachel's trust and see if she would open up and let her in.

**A/N: Ok. I'm stopping this chapter there. You all probably hate me for what I did, but I can say that there will be more Shelby/Rachel. I like them as mother/daughter too much to let it stop there. Also, I wanted Quinn to confront Rachel, but I didn't want Rachel to fall into Quinn's arms and confess everything, that would be too easy all around and I can't see Rachel doing that. I want Quinn to earn Rachel's trust instead. Please don't kill me!**


	10. Busted

**A/N: First and foremost, thank you so much for the reviews! I'm glad the consensus is positive so far. I also think that I'm going to start using both Rachel and Quinn's point of view more often. I like seeing Rachel from her side, but also the view of Quinn seeing Rachel. Most will still be written from Rachel's, but there will be the occasional Quinn thrown in for change. Also, daily updates are getting hard to come up with, writer's block is kicking in! But I promise I will update as often as I can!**

_Busted_

Rachel groaned when the 6am alarm blared Zero by Evanescence. Immediately, she is confused to how she was in her bed. The last thing she could remember was standing in the bathroom, staring at herself in the mirror. She bites the corner of her bottom lip in nervousness and wonder at what happened the previous night. She rips her covers off and sees that she is still only dressed in her underwear. Nervously, she starts to look at her body, breathing a sigh of relief as she finds no fresh cuts. She also realized that she never put sheets back on her bed.

Since she managed to make it through the shopping trip without much pain, she decided to give the elliptical a try.

After 30 minutes, she had had enough. Her leg was sore and she knew if she didn't stop, she would be walking funny most of the day.

She preformed her usual morning routine, and choose jeans and long sleeves to wear, before bounding out the door to school.

Rachel never once remembered Quinn's threat that she would help her regardless if she wanted it or not.

As she made her way towards her locker, she saw Finn standing there waiting for her. "So not what I want to deal with this morning" she grumbled to herself. However, she was in luck. Since she had taken most of her school books home with her over the weekend, she had everything she needed for her first three classes of the day. "Ha, suck on that Finn" She told herself as she smiled and turned to walk the long way to her first class. Since it was still early, she managed to avoid any slushies or problems on the way.

When she entered 1st period, she was surprised that Quinn wasn't there already, considering she had beaten Rachel to class every day last week. She simply shrugged it off and figured the blonde was running late. She was secretly thankful for that. She was not looking forward to dealing with her considering the events from yesterday.

The bell had rang 10 minutes ago, signaling the beginning of classes for the day, and there was still no sign of Quinn. Rachel did a little dance in her head out of joy.

However, not a minute later, Quinn walked into the room and handed the teacher a note. The teacher nodded at Quinn to have a seat before she spoke.

"Rachel, come here please." Rachel gulped and walked to the front.

"This is a pass for you to go see Miss Pillsbury at this time." she simply stated as she handed Rachel the pass.

Rachel walked back to her seat to gather her things, shooting a glare at Quinn and noticed that the blonde flinched ever so slightly. She knew what this was about.

Rachel took a few calming breaths as she walked to the office, silently thanking her fathers for the acting classes she had taken until the past year. Rachel placed her best smile on her face before walking into the counselor's office.

"Hi Miss Pillsbury, you asked to she me?" She spoke in her most upbeat voice she could with the smile still plastered on her face.

"Yes Rachel. Have a seat please. Lets have a little chat" she told her while sliding a pamphlet across the desk at her baring the words "So You Like Playing With Razor Blades?"

"Miss Pillsbury, what is this about? I'm afraid I haven't a clue."

"Rachel, I had a talk this morning with one of your class mates who seems to be concerned about you."

"Let me guess, Quinn Fabray?"

"Now Rachel, you know I cannot give you that information. Put she did bring up a few valid points. Firstly, are you cutting yourself Rachel? You can tell me. This will stay between us."

"No, I'm not. I would not do that to my body. I want to go on to Broadway, why would I mutilate my body and ruin my perfect skin doing something like that?" _Liar_ she told herself. _Shut up Rachel, keep smiling, stay calm damnit! _

"Ok then. What's with the sudden change of clothing then? You usually wear shirts and blouses. Now you're currently wearing jeans and a long sleeved top."

"Miss Pillsbury, this is November. In Ohio. It's getting cold out. I really don't want to get sick this winter and have another re-play of tonsillitis and risk loosing my voice again like last year. I've decided to forgo the skirts this winter is all. And as for the tops, I'm almost always wearing a sweater of some sort, with the occasional short sleeves when it is rather warm out. And it is by no means warm out today." She was telling the truth on that one actually. It was only 40 degrees when she left her house this morning.

"Also a valid point. Ok, I have one more for you. Why did you quit Glee?"

Rachel had to take a deep breath before answering this one

"I quit because I'm sick of being treated like crap in there. Glee was my safe place from all the torment of this school, but now the torment happens in there as well. I'm constantly called names, picked on, told to shut up, and punished for things that I should not be. Mr. Shuster is unfair towards me as well. He lets the entire Glee club call me names and bring me down, but if I say one thing about anyone else in there, I get screamed at and told that I'm not being a team player and that I need to be quiet. I get solos taken away from me while the others continue to belittle me and they receive solos. I refuse to be a part of a group like that. I want nothing to do with them. I don't like the way I've been treated in there. The only reason they want me back is because they need my voice to win. No one wants to step up in there and I constantly have to take on everything, and when something doesn't go perfect, it's suddenly all my fault, regardless of the fact that they are doing nothing to help."

Miss Pillsbury sighed as she looked at Rachel. From what she could tell, the girl was telling the truth. There was no signs of her lying as she spoke.

"Ok then Rachel. I will have a talk with Mr. Shuster about his treatment of you and see what he is willing to do if you return to Glee."

"Please don't bother yourself with that. It's not worth wasting your time. I really don't want to go back there." The last sentence came out as more of a whisper, and Miss Pillsbury realized that Rachel was serious about the way she had been treated.

"Ok Rachel, that's all for right now. I'm here anytime you need to talk, ok?""Ok. Thank you Miss Pillsbury, may I please leave now? I don't want to be late for 2nd period."

"Yes of course Rachel. Have a nice day."

"Thanks, you too."

Rachel did her happy dance once again in her head as she walked away smiling. That had been a lot easier then she expected.

Rachel managed to make it through the rest of the morning and lunch without any issues and had successfully avoided Finn.

At the end of 5th period however, Rachel's luck ran out. As she shut her locker and turned to head to her final two classes, she felt the unmistakable cold sing of a slushy, and then a second on top of that. She heard the jocks laugh and walk away.

Rachel wiped some of the sticky ice from her eyes and turned back to her locker to ditch her books and get her slushy bag. The tears were starting to form in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall since most of the students were still in the hall.

Rachel jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder guide her into the nearest bathroom. She they walked inside, she turned to see Quinn standing there.

"What Quinn? Here to get more information to run to Miss Pillsbury with? I know it was you so don't even try to get out of it!" Rachel snapped at Quinn.

"You're right Rachel. I did go to her. I went because I'm worried about you. I don't want you hurting yourself!""I'm doing nothing of the sort! Again, how dare you accuse me of such accusations! First at my own home, and now here?" Rachel was practically growling at Quinn at this point.

"Rachel -"

"Get out Quinn. I don't need you or anyone else for that matter!" Quinn sighed but left the room. She had never seen Rachel so made and it was starting to scare her.

After Quinn left, Rachel washed the slushy out of her hair and washed her face. She locked herself in a stall to change her top. She couldn't take the risk of someone walking in and seeing her arms.

By the time she was finished, 6th period was almost over. She decided she wasn't going to attend her last class. Dealing with the rest of the students, mainly Quinn was not something she could handle at that point. She didn't care about her perfect attendance anymore. Plus, she figured one day really wouldn't hurt her. She threw her bag into her locker and left. Her homework for the next day was done anyway.

When Rachel made it home, she let the tears flow. She made it to her room and collapsed on her bed as the sobs ripped through her body. She again found herself lucky that her dads were not home so she would not have to explain anything to them.

After an hour she was tired of crying and decided that she would punish herself on the elliptical. Her leg was still a little sore from the morning, but she wanted to feel the pain as she pushed herself.

Rachel managed a full hour on the machine before she had to stop. She had re-opened two of the deeper gashes on her leg and there was blood dripping down her leg as she went. She called it quits and headed to the bathroom for a cool shower.

15 minutes later, she stepped out and dried off. She re-bandaged her leg and found a pair of pjs. She made up her bed with a pair of clean sheets and crawled in. She drifted off after about 5 minuets of staring at the ceiling, thinking about what her life had become.


	11. Getting Under Her Skin

**A/N: Ok, this is Quinn's side only this time. I hope this makes everyone happy!**

_Getting Under Her Skin_

Quinn was awake before her 6:30 alarm rang. She had been awake since 5:30 thinking about Rachel. Trying to figure out some way to help the tiny diva that she was watch slowly fall apart. It seemed she was the only one who actually noticed and could see through Rachel's walls that were getting built up further every day. She couldn't believe that Rachel had talked Miss Pillsbury out of everything. Well, actually, never mind that one. For being a counselor, she really was oblivious sometimes.

At 6:29, Quinn sighed and turned the alarm off before getting out of bed. She was going to find some way to get Rachel to talk if it was the last thing she did. Plus, since it was Tuesday, she was sure that the Glee kids would not be letting Rachel get away with quitting last week. She decided that today, Quinn Fabray was going to be the protector of one Rachel Berry.

Quinn made it to school in record time, quickly grabbing her books to the morning so she wouldn't have to be far from Rachel. It also happened to be in her favor that Quinn had 6 of her 7 classes with Rachel. Their only different class was 7th period, but they happened to be across the hall from each other.

Quinn headed to Rachel's locker and saw the remains of a slushy on the ground. She was immediately pissed. She walked to the nearest bathroom, knowing that the diva was never far. Unfortunately, Rachel seemed to have been there and gone already. She silently prayed that Rachel would be in 1st period as she made her way there.

This time, luck was on her side and Rachel was sitting in her seat, staring at the wall. Quinn noticed that the girl's hair was wet and her eyes were slightly bloodshot, more then likely from crying.

As Quinn sat down, she hoped for any sort of look from Rachel, not even caring if it was a scowl, as long as she acknowledged her. Nothing. Not even one accidental glance. The brunette's head stayed straight and never moved throughout the entire period.

2nd, 3rd, and 4th period were the same way. Not so much as a glance thrown her way.

As Quinn was heading towards lunch, via the route passing Rachel's locker, she noticed Karofsky walking with a slushy going the same direction. Quinn saw red.

"Karofsky!" He froze and turned to look at Quinn

"Just where do you think you're going with that?"

"Berry, who the fuck else?"

"No, she is now off limits for you and the rest of you jocks."

"Ha! Good one Fabray. Now I must go pay her a visit." He turned to way away, but Quinn was quicker and caught him off guard, slamming him into a locker.

"What the fuck Fabray?"

" I told you she is off limits! If I see you or any other jock go near her with a slushy, insult her, or even look at her funny, you will be sorry. And if you don't believe me, just try it. I swear to all things holy that I will rip your balls off and shove them so far up your ass you'll be able to taste them! Understand me!" Quinn sneered at him.

"Ok ok, I get it."

"Oh, not done. If any one of your little jock friends do ANYTHING, I will blame you. Understand? I will make your life a living hell!"

Karofsky glared at her but nodded in agreement. He would never admit it, but Quinn scared the hell out of him when she was pissed.

"Good, now get out of my sight!"

He pulled himself away from the lockers and walked away, but not before dumping the shushy on Jacob Ben Israel on the way.

Making her way to the lunch room, Quinn could find the diva no where. She checked the lunch room, choir room, auditorium, a few empty rooms, and the bathrooms with now luck. She really hoped Rachel hadn't skipped out on the rest of the day. The bell ringing signaled the end of lunch and Quinn made her way to 5th period with the rest of her afternoon books she had gathered in her search for Rachel.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Rachel sitting in her usual seat, completely ignoring her, but she didn't care. Rachel was still at school.

Quinn walked slightly behind Rachel on their way to 6th period, just incase. No one even dared to try. She figured her little ass chewing of Karofsky had gotten around by then and no one dared to cross her.

Between 6th and 7th, Quinn followed Rachel to her locker, but stayed a few feet away to avoid being noticed. That's when she saw Kurt, Mercedes, and Santana circle Rachel. She was able to hear parts of the exchange as she walked closer.

"Listen here man hands. Your ass better be in Glee this afternoon. Quit being so fucking stuck-up. Hell, you weren't even with Finn when I fucked him, let it go already!" from Santana.

"Seriously diva, just because you didn't get a solo you have to get pissed off about it. It's not just about you!" came from Mercedes.

"Honestly, the world does not revolve around you! Grow up!" came from Kurt.

Quinn had heard enough at this point. She could see Rachel clenching her fists as her body started to tremor. She put herself between Rachel and the three of them.

"If I hear one more word to her from any of you, I will make you life hell!""Oh shut up Prego. No one gives a damn."

"Shut up Lopez. I'm sick of you and your shit. Leave her alone or I let it slip to coach the real reason you got a boob job." Santana paled just slightly before stomping away.

"As for you two jackasses. Leave her the fuck alone or I will make sure you get a slushy bath on a daily basis, if not more!

Mercedes cut in "What the hell Quinn. Why are you defending her? She deserves if for quitting Glee, she's just selfish!"

"Newsflash Mercedes, I quit as well and yet I'm getting nothing about it from anyone. Why her? Hum? You both better leave her the fuck alone or I will have the jocks on your asses so fast your heads will spin!" Quinn was practically growling at them as she spoke.

Kurt and Mercedes looked at each other and bolted

Quinn turned around to look at Rachel. She was shaking and her head was down. She placed a hand on her shoulder and guided her towards the same bathroom as yesterday after the slushy incident.

When they entered the room, Quinn kicked two freshmen girls out and check the stalls for any other lingering students. Once satisfied, she locked the bathroom door to avoid anyone wondering in.

Rachel had backed herself against a wall, her head was still down and she was shaking. Quinn walked to Rachel, putting her arms around the small girls' shoulders and pulled her into herself. She could feel Rachel immediately tense at the gesture and try to pull away. Quinn had other ideas though. She held tighter to Rachel and started to talk calmly to her as she rubbed her thumb up and down her back.

"It's ok Rach. I promise that I'm not going to hurt you. No one else is in her but us. You're safe right now." She could feel Rachel beginning to relax and noticed that her shirt was becoming wet. Rachel was crying. After a few seconds, she began to sob into Quinn. Quinn decided to keep talking.

" I'm here Rachel. I'm not going anywhere. I've got you. I won't let go." Rachel was starting to shake violently as she sobbed. Quinn noticed the chair a few feet from her.

"Ok Rach, We're going to move to the chair, ok?" She could feel Rachel nod and readjust so her head was buried into her shoulder. Quinn moved her arms and simply picked up Rachel, who immediately wrapped her legs around her waste and held on tighter. Quinn walked them to the chair and sat down. Rachel stayed with her legs and arms around Quinn and started to sob harder.

"That's it Rach, just let go. Keeping it in won't do you any good. Just let it all out."

Rachel continued to sob into Quinn's shoulder for another 10 minutes and was showing no signs of stopping. Quinn did the only thing she could think of to help calm her down: sing.

_You feel like you're falling backwards  
__Like you're slippin' through the cracks  
__Like no one would even notice  
__If you left this town and never came back  
__You walk outside and all you see is rain  
__You look inside and all you feel is pain  
__And you can't see it now  
_

_But down the road the sun is shining  
__In every cloud there's a silver lining  
__Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)  
__And every heartache makes you stronger  
__But it won't be much longer  
__You'll find love, you'll find peace  
__And the you you're meant to be  
__I know right now that's not the way you feel  
__But one day you will_

Rachel was no longer sobbing, but letting out quiet whimpers.

_You wake up every morning and ask yourself  
__What am I doing here anyway  
__With the weight of all those disappointments  
__Whispering in your ear  
__You're just barely hanging by a thread  
__You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath  
__And you don't know it yet_

Rachel relaxed into Quinn

_But down the road the sun is shining  
__In every cloud there's a silver lining  
__Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)  
__And every heartache makes you stronger  
__But it won't be much longer  
__You'll find love, you'll find peace  
__And the you you're meant to be  
__I know right now that's not the way you feel  
__But one day you will_

_Find the strength to rise above  
__You will  
__Find just what you're made of, you're made of_

Rachel let out a small sigh

_But down the road the sun is shining  
__In every cloud there's a silver lining  
__Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)  
__And every heartache makes you stronger  
__But it won't be much longer  
__You'll find love, you'll find peace  
__And the you you're meant to be  
__I know right now that's not the way you feel  
__But one day you will  
__  
One day you will  
__Oh one day you will_

Rachel had calmed down as the song ended. She took a few deep breaths before picking her head up, refusing to look at Quinn. Quinn gently cupped Rachel's face and turned her head to look into her eyes. She could see the pain running through Rachel's eyes. It broke her heart to see Rachel this way.

"It's ok Rachel. I'm not going to say anything to anyone. This is just between us. I don't want you feeling alone anymore. I'm here Rachel. Let me help you. Please."

Rachel could tell from Quinn's eyes that she was sincere in her words. She stood up and walked to the sink to wash her face.

"Listen Rachel, I know you have no reason to trust me, but please give me a chance to try, ok? Let me show you that I'm worth trusting. You don't have to tell me anything until you're ready to. I'm not going to push you into anything. Just please know that you're not alone and that I'm willing to do anything to help you."

Rachel took a deep breath and started to speak "Thank you Quinn. Thank you for helping me today, for being there. I will agree to you helping me, but not until you can prove to me that this is not a joke and that you're sincere."

"I will do whatever it takes Rachel. I promise."

Quinn was taken off guard when Rachel flung herself into her arms. As she pulled away, Quinn noticed that Rachel had a genuine smile on her face, not the fake one she had been using lately.

"Lets get out of here Rach."

"Don't you have Glee to go to?"

"No, didn't you hear that part? I quit after you did last week."

"No Quinn you - "

"No Rachel, don't. I don't want to be anywhere near them. They treat you like shit and I'm sick of it. I refuse to be a part of it any longer."

"Why are you doing this Quinn?"

"Because everyone needs somebody. Last year you never once turned your back on me like everyone else did when the pregnancy got out. I don't want you to feel alone anymore."

"Thank you Quinn. I think I'm just going to go home. I want to be alone for a little bit I think."

"I understand. Let me see your phone for a minute." Quinn quickly added herself to Rachel's contact list and sent a call to herself.

"Ok, I put my number in your phone and I also called myself so I have yours. Call me if you need anything Rachel, ok? I don't care what time it is."

"Thank you Quinn. While I can't promise that I will, I'll keep it in mind. I'll see you tomorrow Quinn." She turned and started to walk away.

"Hey Rach? Please don't hurt yourself. I understand that you don't want to open up yet, and that's fine, but please, don't take things out on yourself."

"I promise nothing Quinn, but I will remember that."

As Quinn laid in bed that night, she prayed that she had at least started to get to Rachel. And that Rachel would start to trust her and open up. But most of all, she prayed for Rachel's safety. She sent a quick text to Rachel to let her know she was thinking about her "Hey Rach, just wanted to say that I hope you are doing ok. I'll be waiting for you at your locker tomorrow. You won't be alone."

A few streets away, Rachel was laying in her bed when her phone beeped. As she read Quinn's message, she couldn't help but smile. She sent her a quick reply "Thank you Quinn."

**Song is One Day You Will by Lady Antebellum**


	12. Well, It's a Start

_Well, It's a Start_

The rest of the week flew by for the girls, and Friday after school arrived before they knew it. Quinn had stayed by Rachel's side all week. She kept everyone away from Rachel with stern glares and growls. Rachel was hesitant at first of Quinn's closeness, but soon started to enjoy the blonde's presence at her side. They were constantly together at school, but had yet to see each other otherwise. Rachel had also managed to not cut herself since her breakdown in the bathroom with Quinn.

As the girls were at Rachel's locker gathering her books before heading home for the weekend, Mr. Shuster approached them.

"Hi Rachel. Listen, can we talk for a minute?"

"What Mr. Shu?" Rachel sighed

"Humm, can we talk in private?"

"No, this is fine. Anything you want to say can be said in front of Quinn."

"No Rach, it's ok. I'll wait down the hall for you."

"No Quinn." Rachel grabbed Quinn's hand and Quinn could feel the tiny girl shaking.

"Ok Rach, I'm not going anywhere."

"Go ahead Mr. Shu."

"Right, ok. Rachel, if you come back to Glee club, I'm willing to overlook your little outburst from last week."

"Excuse me Mr. Shu?""I said I will forgive your outburst from last week if you come back to Glee Club."

Quinn could feel Rachel grip tighter to her hand and began to shake with rage. Quinn slowly started to stroke Rachel's hand with her thumb and felt the girl slightly relax.

"I will let you back into Glee if you agree to watch you attitude from now on."

"And what about everyone else in the club? What are their restrictions?""Well, nothing. They haven't done anything."

"Oh yea? What about when they sat there and mocked me? When they yelled at me and called me vulgar names?"

"Rachel, I think you're over reacting about - "

Quinn was now shaking as well and could no longer contain herself

"Excuse me Mr. Shuster, Rachel has done nothing wrong. She spoke up for herself for a change. She defended herself against everyone else, including yourself!"

"Quinn, this has nothing to do with you."

"Bull! Rachel is my friend and since everyone is doing their best to try and tear her down, I'm standing up for her as well now. There is no reason that she should have to deal with the stuff everyone is throwing at her. None of this is her fault!"

"But - "

"No, no buts, no nothing. This conversation is over. Good bye Mr. Shu."

And with that, Quinn wrapped her arm around Rachel's waist and pulled her closer to her and lead her out to the parking lot to her car.

"Thank you for what you said Quinn."

"Anytime Rachel."

"Listen Quinn, I know this whole thing between us is new and all, but uhm, would you like to stay the night tonight? My dad's are out of town and I really don't want to be alone. If you don't want to that's fine."

"Rachel"

"Don't worry about it. Actually, you probably don't want to."

"Rachel!"

"Forget I asked. I'm just going to go now."

"RACHEL!"

"Oh. Yes Quinn?"

"I would love to stay."

"Oh, ok then. Sorry for rambling, I just didn't think that you would actually -"

"You're doing it again."

"Sorry."

"It's fine. We'll have to work on that. Anyway. Just let me run home and get some things and I'll be over, ok? Give me about half an hour."

"Ok. I'll see you then."

As the girls parted ways, Rachel did her happy dance in her mind. She was excited to actually have a real friend. Not only that, but a friend who was actually going to spend the night.

"Oh crap, I have no idea what we're supposed to do all night." Rachel started talking to herself as she drove home.

"What do friends do at sleepovers? And I don't have enough time to search the internet for ideas. Crap, crap, crap. I really hope Quinn has ideas on what to do. Wait, why am I nervous all of a sudden? Oh crap."

Quinn found herself excited to be staying with Rachel for the night. It had only been a few days, but she was hoping that Rachel would at least talk to her about something going on in her life. They never really talked about major things at school, just mindless chatter.

Quinn rang the doorbell exactly 30 minutes later. She jumped as Rachel immediately flung the door open and quickly ushered her in.

Quinn didn't fail to notice that Rachel was wearing a t-shirt and not trying to hide her arms.

**A/N: Ok this is really short and I'm sorry for that, but I really wanted to update. I'm exhausted and work is kicking my butt at the moment so please forgive. I promise a longer update tomorrow involving the rest of Friday through Saturday night I think. **


	13. The Sleep Over

_The Sleep Over_

As Quinn stepped into the Berry house for the second time in less then a week, she noticed how warm and inviting the house actually was. Since she was not as nervous this time around, she was able to look around a little more. She discovered the house was tastefully and simply decorated. She was surprised. With Rachel having two dads, she expected the house to be overly done and perfect in every way. The house felt much more cozy and comforting then her own house where everything was always in place and nothing was to be moved around.

"Would you like something to drink Quinn?"

"Yea sure. Water is fine."

The girls made their way to the kitchen. Quinn sat down on a bar stool as Rachel handed her a bottle of water. As she took the bottle, she couldn't help but look at the gashes on the girl's arm. Rachel noticed Quinn's eyes look down and she pulled her arm back and lowered it to her side.

"I'm sorry Rachel, I -"

"Please don't Quinn. I want to get more comfortable around you, but I have to do this slowly for myself. I'm not ready to talk about it yet, but I figured that it at least was a start."

"I understand Rach. I'm hear when you're ready, ok?"

"Thanks Quinn."

Quinn noticed Rachel starting to get uncomfortable, and she didn't want to undo the progress they had made during the week, so she quickly changed the subject.

"So, what did you have in mind for night?"

"Well, I got as far as dinner. I made a vegan ziti, it's in the oven now, so we can have that for dinner. It's actually very good, but if you don't like it or don't want it, I can find something else then."

"That sounds really good Rachel." Quinn's stomach groaned at the thought.

"Hehe, hungry there Quinn?"

"Yea, a little apparently."

"Ok, well it actually can be ready in about an hour. But I'm not sure what to do until then. I've never had someone stay for the night, nor have I ever stayed anywhere. I'm kind of at a loss on what to do honestly."

"Well, we could talk, watch movies, do make-overs. Yea, that's about all I've ever done actually."

"Ok, well how about we start a movie while we wait for dinner and then we can finish the movie as we eat?"

"Sounds like a plan to me." Quinn smiled at Rachel's nervousness before grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the living room she noticed when she walk in.

"So what are we watching?"

"Well, seeing as you're the guest, I think that you should pick. I'm not sure what you like, but we have a huge movie collection so I'm sure there will be something." Rachel lead Quinn over to a large cabinet and opened it. Quinn gasped at the sight of the amount of movies she was staring at.

"I promise they're not all musicals. They're sorted by genre and then alphabetically."

"Of course they are." Quinn giggled and elbowed Rachel, causing the other girl to giggle as well.

"I think I'm feeling the horror movie genre tonight. How about…. Texas Chain Saw Massacre? It's the original and it's so much better."

"Sure Quinn, if that's what you would like to watch, then ok." Quinn noticed that Rachel looked a little hesitant.

"Rachel, if you don't want to watch this we don't have to. I can pick something else."

"No, it's fine. I'm just a little scared of that movie. My dads made me watch it before and I had nightmares for a week afterwards and ended up in their bed a few times is all."

"Well, I'll be right here with you and you can look away at any time. I don't know how we're sleeping tonight, but I wouldn't mind sharing a bed, that way you won't be alone and hopefully you'll sleep just fine. We can turn it off if it starts to be too much, ok?"

"That sounds fine to me. We do have a guest room, but the bed isn't made or anything so we're down to my bed. I was going to offer the bed and sleep on the floor -"

"No, you're not sleeping on the floor. We'll share your bed. Just relax Rach, ok?"

"I'm sorry Quinn, I'm just nervous is all. This is all new to me." Rachel mumbled as she stared at the floor. Quinn gently lifted Rachel's chin until they were looking into each others eyes.

"It's only me Rach, I promise I won't bite. And I've decided to forgo the horror movie. How about a little RENT instead?"

"No Quinn, I don't want you to watch something that you don't want to on account -"

"You're rambling again. We really are going to work on that one. And besides, I love me some Taye Diggs, even though he is a total ass in most of this."

Rachel giggled and put RENT into the DVD player. The girls settled into the couch facing the big screen tv.

An hour passed faster then they though possible as the timer for the oven was going off. Rachel paused the movie and pulled Quinn to the kitchen ignoring the mumbling of "how dare you take me away from Taye"

Rachel pointed Quinn to a cabinet holding the bowls as she pulled the food from the oven.

"Ok, that has to be the best thing that I have ever smelled" Quinn groaned.

"Just wait till you taste it" Rachel told her as she dished the ziti into the bowls. They grabbed forks and ran back to the living room, food in hand.

Rachel turned the movie back on as Quinn took a bite. "Ok, this really is the best thing I've ever tasted." Rachel gave her a smile before digging into her own bowl.

The girls sat in silence as they finished the movie and their dinner. Quinn had helped herself to a second helping, saying something along the lines of "I hope coach doesn't have spies around."

After cleaning up the kitchen, the girls headed upstairs to Rachel's room. Quinn found herself surprised again as she looked around. She was expecting pink and Broadway posters everywhere. Instead, the room was yellow with only a few posters and very simple. She did notice the elliptical sitting in the corner though.

Rachel headed to her bathroom to change into her pjs as Quinn did the same in the bedroom.

When Rachel immerged in a tank top and short shorts, Quinn couldn't help but notice the cuts on Rachel's thigh as well. Rachel gave Quinn a sad smile as she noticed the blonde staring.

"Sorry"

"Please stop saying you're sorry Quinn."

"Sor.. Ok"

The girls settled onto the bed as Rachel turned her iHome on for background noise.

"Where are your dads?"

"In London for business. They'll be home Sunday morning. they've been gone for almost two weeks now. They were supposed to be back last weekend but they ended up staying another week."

"Wow."

"Yea, but I'm used to it now. So it's no big deal. How are things between you and your mom?"

"Honestly? Awkward. We don't really talk unless we have to. We mainly just avoid each other."

"That sounds rough."

"Yea, but at least I'm allowed back into the house now. Listen Rachel, I'm sorry about what I said last weekend about you and Shelby. I didn't mean it. I was just so angry and it just came out."

"It's fine Quinn. I know that you were doing what you felt was best for Beth. It just hurts that she doesn't want me. She put in so much effort to find me, and then she just throws me away again because I'm not what she was expecting. What did she think was going to happen in 16 years? That I just wouldn't grow or change? She should have realized that before she came back and hurt me."

"I'm so sorry Rachel. You don't deserve to be treated like that from her. And you also don't deserve everything I've done to you. I wish I could show you how sorry I am. That I could make it up to you somehow."

"The fact that you're hear right now, and that you are trying to help me, is more then enough Quinn. I've already forgiven you for everything. I don't want our friendship to be based on you trying to make things up to me for our past."

"Ok Rach. No more making it up to you. And so you know, you're going to be stuck with me for a long time to come."

"I hope so."

They continued to talk about nothing and everything for the next three hours. Neither girl brought up Rachel's cutting. Rachel wasn't ready yet and Quinn did not want to push her into talking. They finally decided to call it a night and go to sleep.

They both drifted off into a peaceful slumber until 2am when Rachel's phone rang, startling both girls, that had somehow during the night became intertwined with each other. Rachel grabbed her phone saw it was her dad

"Hi dad" she said as she yawned.

"Hi baby, listen, I have some bad news."

**A/N: And I'm ending this one there. Sorry! Cliff Hanger!**


	14. It'll Be Alright

**A/N: Ok, fine. Since everyone is flipping out. You can have this as a way to make it up to you. Please don't hate me. **

_It'll Be Alright_

"What is it dad? What's wrong? Is daddy ok? Are you ok? What happened?" Quinn was sitting up by this point, staring at Rachel with worried eyes.

"Relax Rachel, everything is fine. The bad news is that there are storms all over around here and all flights have been cancelled. We won't be home on Sunday like planned. We're actually not really sure when we will be there. We're going to catch the first flight out that we can."

"Oh, ok. Well I'm glad that you're both ok. You really scared me."

"I'm sorry sweetie. I know we've been gone for a while, but we'll make it up to you. I'm sorry I had to call you so late. I didn't want you worrying about us if you heard anything on the news or anything."

"It's fine dad, don't worry. Please stay safe and don't fly before you are sure it's safe. And stop worrying about me, I'm fine." Quinn gave her a look at the last sentence and Rachel stuck her tongue out her.

"Ok Ray, I'll let you get back to sleep. Love you."

"Love you too dad, daddy too."

As soon as Rachel hung up the phone Quinn exploded

"What's wrong? Are they ok? What about not flying?"

"And you say I need to relax." Rachel grumbled so Quinn gave her a shove causing Rachel to fall off the bed. However, since the girls legs were still tangled together, they both ended up on the floor, with Quinn landing on top of Rachel.

The girls looked into each others eyes for a full minute before Rachel realized Quinn's thigh was pushed against her center.

"Hey Quinn."

"Yea Rach?"

"Not that I'm complaining or anything, but the floor is kind of uncomfortable. Do you think that maybe we could move back to the bed?"

"Oh, yea. Sorry." As Quinn moved to get up, her thigh pressed further into Rachel, who let out a gasp.

"Crap, are you ok? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No, not at all, don't worry."

"Alright." Quinn moved again and realized where her thigh was. She blushed at the discovery and then realized why Rachel had gasped. She quickly got off of Rachel and put out a hand to pull her up. Both girls then got back into bed and snuggled in.

This time, an awkward silence overtook them. Both girls could feel the butterflies in their stomachs.

"I can't feel this way about Quinn. We just started being friends. I shouldn't feel this way about her already." Rachel thought to herself.

"Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap. Why do I feel like this? I can't like Rachel, can I?" Was running through Quinn's mind.

After a few minutes, Quinn noticed Rachel was shaking and she could hear soft whimpers as well.

"Rachel, what's wrong?"

"Sorry Quinn, I didn't mean to disturb you."

"You didn't. Talk to me."

Rachel turned to face Quinn and she could see the tears pouring out.

"I'm worried about my dads. I really miss them. They're not around much anymore. They are always away on business or vacations. I only see them for about a week every month. And it's not even a week straight, it's just a few days here and there. I feel like they don't want me anymore. Like they regret even having me." Rachel was sobbing at this point.

"Oh Rachel, that's not true. They love you very much. I'm sure of it."

"I know they love me, but I doubt they like me anymore. I don't even like myself anymore."

"Well I like you Rach. I like you enough that even when you don't like yourself, I'll like you enough for the both of us."

"Thanks Quinn. But I don't know if that's enough anymore."

"How about you go to sleep Rach. We can talk more in the morning. You're not going to feel any better if you don't sleep, ok?"

"I guess you're right."

"I know I am" Quinn stuck her tongue out a Rachel and wrapped her arms around her, pulling her tightly into herself. "Go to sleep Rachel, I've got you."

Rachel curled herself into Quinn's body, enjoying the warmth "Hey Quinn? Will you sing to me? Please."

"Of course." Quinn's soft voice started to fill the room.

_Little Miss done on love,  
__Little Miss I give up,  
__Little Miss I'll get tough, don't you worry 'bout me anymore_

_Little Miss checkered dress,  
__Little Miss one big mess,  
__Little Miss I'll take less when I always knew so much more _

_It's alright, it's alright, it's alright,  
__Yeah, sometimes ya gotta lose 'til ya win,  
__It's alright, it's alright, it's alright,  
__It'll be alright again, it'll be alright again  
__I'm okay, It'll be alright again, I'm okay (okay)  
__It'll be alright again, I'm okay _

_Little Miss do your best,  
__Little Miss never rest,  
__Little Miss, be my guest, I'll make more anytime it runs out _

_Little Miss you'll go far,  
__Little Miss hide your scars,  
__Little Miss who you are is so much more than you like to talk about _

_It's alright, it's alright, it's alright,  
__Yeah, sometimes ya gotta lose 'til ya win,  
__It's alright, it's alright, it's alright,  
__It'll be alright again, it'll be alright again,  
__I'm okay, It'll be alright again, I'm okay (okay)  
__It'll be alright again, I'm okay _

_Hold on, hold on, you are loved, are loved _

_Little Miss brand new start,  
__Little Miss do your part,  
__Little Miss big ole heart beats wide open, she's ready now for love _

_It's alright, it's alright, it's alright,  
__Yeah, sometimes ya gotta lose 'til ya win,  
__It's alright, it's alright, it's alright,  
__It'll be alright again, it'll be alright again  
__I'm okay, It'll be alright again, I'm okay (okay)  
__It'll be alright again, I'm okay,  
__It'll be alright again_

As Quinn finished the song, she could feel Rachel's slow, even breaths on her neck. She leaned down and placed a kiss on Rachel's head and whispered "It'll be alright Rachel. I will never leave you. I promise." Quinn drifted off to sleep.

**Song is Little Miss by Sugarland**


	15. Quinn's Idea

**A/N: This is really just a filler chapter. I wanted something between the previous one and the next one. Nothing too exciting, so no complaints about it being boring please! The next chapter with more exciting stuff will be up later today when I get around to finishing it!**

Around 7 Rachel woke up and found she was still curled into Quinn's chest with her arms wrapped protectively around her. She realized that she hadn't turned off her weekend alarm the previous night. Deciding that it wasn't worth getting up early, she moved slightly away from Quinn, trying to reach the alarm without waking the blonde. Her fingertips were within an inch from the clock when she felt Quinn's arms wrap back around her waste and pull her back in close. Rachel rolled her eyes and let out a small giggle. She tried to reach for the clock again, but this time she heard Quinn mumble

"No. Warm. Comfy. No go. Stay. 5 minuets."

Rachel giggled a little louder this time and reached again.

"No, mine. Must stay" came from Quinn.

Rachel found herself oddly amused at Quinn's protectiveness, even in her sleep. She poked Quinn in the arm trying to get her to let go. No luck.

Poking again "Quinn, let me turn the alarm off."

"Nope. Sleeps good."

"I know sleep is good. That's why I want to turn the alarm off. More sleep."

This time, Rachel lunged for the alarm and just barely flipped it off before Quinn snatched her back and pulled her in again.

Rachel rolled her eyes again at the blonde's behavior and snuggled closer. Feeling the warmth and comfort of Quinn, she smiled and fell back asleep.

Quinn awoke around 10 and noticed her arms were still wrapped around Rachel. She looked at the sleeping brunette and smiled a sad smile. She wanted so bad for Rachel to be more open with her. She was glad for the small bit that Rachel had told her a few hours ago, considering it was a start.

Before Quinn could think anymore on the subject, she felt Rachel shift and her breath from a yawn tickle her neck.

"Morning Rach."

"Morning Quinn."

"How'd you sleep?"

"Honestly? Better then I have in a long time. Listen Quinn, I'm sorry about this morning. I didn't mean not break-"

"Don't apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm just glad I was here when it happened."

"Me too" Rachel smiled and pulled away from Quinn and sat up against the headboard. "I miss them. They aren't around much anymore. They are always gone on business or vacations together. I feel like they regret having me sometimes. That they don't even care that they're never around and that I'm alone most of the time."

"How long has this been going on Rach?"

"A few years now. The first time they were both gone it was by mistake, but when they got home and realized that I was fine and nothing happened, it started happening more often. I guess they just assumed that I could raise myself and that I didn't really need them anymore. They don't get that I really do need them around. That I have no one. No other family, no friends, no one. I'm completely alone."

"Well now you have me Rach, ok? I promise you I'm not going anywhere."

"You say that now Quinn, but it will only be a matter of time before you can't stand me anymore and go back to hating me and leave me just like they did. Just like my mom did."

"I never hated you Rachel. I know that I acted like I did, but I never really did. The first time I slushied you it was an accident. Santana had tripped me and the cup flew out of my hand. After that it was a free for all. And instead of trying to stop it, I gave into the pressure and went along with it. I'm so sorry Rachel."

"I know you are Quinn. And I forgive you for it. I really do. So please stop apologizing for it."

"I don't understand how you can just forgive me after everything I've done. How you can give me another chance."

"I can because I can see by the way you're acting that you mean it. That you're not doing this to hurt me. You've been acting differently this past week, so I wanted to give you another chance."

"Thank you. Hey, I have an idea. Feel free to say no to this, but how about I stay with you until your dads get back? That way you're not alone."

"No Quinn, I can't ask you to do that."

"You're not asking, I'm offering."

"But what about your mom? Isn't she going to care that you're not home?"

"I doubt it. We mostly avoid each other now. We haven't really talked since I moved back in. Just the simple "hellos" is all really now."

"Well, if you really want to, then I have no objections. I'm sure my dads won't care anyway. But you have to make sure you're mom is ok with this."

"I will. How about I run home now and tell her, and I'll pick up enough stuff for a few days? Then we can have the rest of the weekend together without having to worry about it?"

"Ok. I think I'll shower and get dressed while you're gone. We can figure out what to do when you get back?"

"Yea. Sounds perfect to me." Quinn sat up and wrapped her arms around Rachel, who let her body melt into Quinn's as she breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Come on Quinn, I'll walk you out."

The girls headed downstairs so Quinn could leave.

"I'll leave the door unlocked, just come in when you get back that way you don't have to wait if I'm in the shower or something."

"Are you sure? I don't want you to leave it open and have someone walk in." Quinn saw the realization and slight fear flash in Rachel's eyes.

"Oh yea, I didn't think of that. Ok, hold on a minute." Rachel walked to the kitchen and returned with a key. "How about this then?" She handed Quinn the key. "That way the door can stay locked and you can still get in."

"Are you sure about this? I don't want to cause a problem with you and your dads if they find out that I have a key."

"Don't even worry about it. They probably won't mind. Especially after they meet you."

"Wait, do they know about the things that I've done to you?"

"No, they don't. I really didn't want to tell them about it. Plus I didn't want them to freak out about it. They know absolutely nothing. They know that you're a Cheerio and that you're in Glee. They also know that you've dated Finn. They don't know that you were pregnant or any of the drama that happened with that though. They never made it to any performances last year, so they never saw."

"You never told them?"

"No. I didn't want them to know. I wanted them to be happy and think that everything was just fine with me. Now go home and get things settled."

"But-"

"No. Out!" Both girls laughed as Rachel gently shoved Quinn out the door.

"Fine. I'll be back in a little while."

As Rachel shut the door she asked herself "What have I just gotten myself into?"


	16. It's Time To Talk

**A/N: Ok, I hope this gets approval! I thought it was about time for this to happen.**

_It's Time To Talk_

When Quinn entered her house, she noticed a note by the door "Quinn, went to Cleveland with the girls. Be home in a few days. Mom" "Well, at least I don't have to worry about not being here" Quinn told herself as she picked up a pen to write back "Mom, staying with a friend for a few days. Quinn" Smirking, she ran upstairs to pack.

Meanwhile at the Berry Residence, Rachel decided to give her dads a call to see if they have anymore information about when they would be home.

"Hi daddy. How's the weather?"

"Hey baby girl. It's terrible here."

"That's not good. Any news on when you'll be home?"

"Honestly, not a clue. It will probably be a few days. We're going to head to a hotel and check in so we're not stuck at the airport."

"Oh, ok. Well let me know when you guys find out anything more."

"I'll call you the minute we get a flight. Are you doing ok by yourself?"

"Yes, I've been fine. Quinn Fabray, from Glee, is going to stay a few nights with me."

"I don't know Rach."

"Please dad, it'll be fine. It'll be nice to have someone else around instead of just a big empty house."

"Ok. But don't stay up to late since it will be school nights. And no boys and no parties, understand?"

"Yes daddy. I promise we won't. It'll just be a girl's week. Nothing more."

"Ok Rachel. I trust you. Don't let me down. I've got to go now though. We're just leaving to find a hotel. I'll call you."

"Ok daddy. I love you. Bye"

"Bye"

Rachel closed her phone "He didn't even say he loves me. I haven't talked to him in over a week and he doesn't even say that he loves me? Maybe he really doesn't want me any more." she thought to herself. She felt her heart break just a little bit as a few tears escaped her eyes.

She decided to take a shower since there was no telling when Quinn would return.

She stripped off her clothes and studied herself in the mirror and stared talking to herself "Am I not good enough for them? For anyone? Do they just not want me anymore? They probably regret even having me. Maybe Shelby was right for leaving me. I'm not worth the effort to be loved or cared about." The tears were flowing freely from her eyes now. She pulled open the drawer and took out the razor blade. She turned on the shower and stepped in, blade in hand.

She did her shower routine first to get it out of the way, staring at the shiny metal the whole time.

When she deemed herself clean enough, she picked up the blade and flipped in around in her hand. A voice in her head told her "You know you want to. You deserve to do this to yourself. You deserve the pain. You're useless. Ugly. Unlovable. Cut yourself already."

Rachel nodded to herself and began to drag the blade across her stomach as she sobbed. The blood dripped out and started to mix with the water as it hit the tub floor. The water stung the fresh cuts as she continued to cut into herself.

She had made 15 cuts into her stomach before she collapsed into a ball, sobbing in the tub basin.

Rachel never heard Quinn enter the house or yell her name. Quinn walked to Rachel's room and heard the shower running. She put her bag on the floor and laid down on the bed to wait.

After a few minutes she began to her Rachel start to cry. Within seconds it became sobbing the was louder then the running water. Quinn sat up and began to walk towards the bathroom door that was cracked open. When she reached the door, she froze, remembered that Rachel was in fact in the shower, naked, and it probably would not be a good idea to barge in.

Quinn turned back to the bed and took a few steps before she heard a bang and a body hitting the ground along with more sobs. Deciding she really didn't care and was scared that Rachel was hurt, she barged into the bathroom.

The open drawer of the vanity caught her attention.

She peered inside and noticed the pack of razor blades and first-aid supplies. She knew what Rachel was doing in the shower.

She eyes moved over to the shower and she could see the outline of a body curled on the ground through the glass door.

Modesty be damned, Quinn slammed the shower door open to reveal a naked and sobbing Rachel on the ground. Quinn noticed the blood that was still mixing with the water. She wasn't sure where it was coming from since she couldn't see much. She turned off the water and climbed into the tub to Rachel and knelt down, ignoring that she was now sitting in Rachel's blood.

She tentatively touched Rachel's arm, but the crying girl either didn't realize or just chose to ignore her. "Rachel" Quinn said as she touched her again. Still not getting any response.

Quinn moved closer to Rachel and started to move her arms to check when the blood was coming from. As she moved one arm out of the way, she could see more blood. Quinn then moved Rachel's legs, trying to uncurl her. She then saw the fresh cuts in Rachel's stomach. Quinn's heart jumped into her throat at the sight.

"Ok Rachel, I need to get you out of the tub and get you cleaned up. Please Rachel, please acknowledge me in some way. Come on Rach."

Rachel made a slight nod and her sobs started to quiet down.

Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel and sat her up. She stood up and reached to stand Rachel up, breathing a sigh of relief when Rachel helped and got up. She was only whimpering now, and Quinn figured since she was already covered in blood, more wasn't going to hurt so she pulled Rachel into herself. Rachel wrapped her arms around Quinn's waste and buried her face into the blonde's chest as Quinn rubbed her hands up and down Rachel's back, trying to calm her.

When Rachel seemed to finally settle down, Quinn pulled away to get a better look at the girl.

She couldn't stop herself as her eyes moved down Rachel's tiny body. Her breathe caught in her throat as she took in the girls perfectly round, perky breasts and her completely bare center. Quinn mentally slapped herself when she realized what she was doing "Get it together Fabray! Now is really not the time to be doing this!" It didn't even occur to her that she was getting turned on by another girl.

Quinn put an arm back around Rachel and helped her step out of the tub. She put a towel around her shoulders and sat her down onto the toilet. She pulled the ointment and some gauze pads out of the drawer and dressed Rachel's wounds.

When she was satisfied, she went to find Rachel some sweats to wear and to change her own clothes.

When she made it back to the bathroom, Rachel was looking down and running her finger along the bandages. Quinn cleared her throat, causing Rachel to jump.

"Sorry Rach."

"Quinn. I-"

"Hang on Rach. You've got to be cold. Lets get some clothes on you first, ok?"

Rachel nodded in agreement as she became aware that she was sitting there naked and blushed in embarrassment.

"It's ok Rachel. Remember, this all stays between us."

Quinn used the towel still hanging on the girl's shoulders and dried off her body. She helped Rachel slip on a t-shirt before helping her stand to put on a pair of underwear and sweatpants. She sat Rachel back down and gently ran a brush through the long brunette hair. When she was done, she used her hand to pull Rachel's chin up so they were looking in each other's eyes.

"We need to talk about this Rachel."

"I know. But I don't know how. I don't even know if I want to talk about it. I don't know if I even want to stop."

"Come on Rach." Quinn held out her hand as Rachel took it and stood up.

"Where are we going?"

"Outside to get some fresh air. It's oddly warm out for being November. Gotta love Ohio weather. I need to borrow your washer to put my clothes in though, if that's ok?"

"Yea, that's fine. I'm sorry for getting blood on you. I promise I don't have anything that you can catch."

"Don't worry about it Rachel. I'm not all that worried. If it doesn't come out it's no big deal."

The girls headed downstairs and Rachel pointed Quinn to the laundry room where she quickly threw her clothes into the washer.

Quinn pulled Rachel outside and towards the swing she had noticed in the backyard the day before.

"Ok Rachel. It's time to talk about this" Quinn said as she pulled Rachel closer.


	17. Breathe

_"Ok Rachel. It's time to talk about this" Quinn said as she pulled Rachel closer._

* * *

_Breathe_

Rachel did not acknowledge Quinn in anyway. She simply continued to stare at the ground.

"Rachel, look at me, please."

Still no movement from Rachel. Quinn reached over and took one of Rachel's hands and placed the other on her chin and turned her head until their eyes met.

"Please don't shut me out. I'm not going to judge you. I'm not going to tell anyone. I just want you to talk to me. I don't want you to feel alone anymore. Please let me help you Rachel."

Quinn noticed a very slight nod from Rachel. So small that if she hadn't been staring directly in her eyes, she would have never seen it.

"Thank you Rachel. Now lets talk about this, ok?"

"I…I don't… know how."

"That's alright. We'll start with the basics for now and then move on to the harder stuff."

"Ok." Came out just above a whisper.

"Ok. When did you start cutting?"

"Two Mondays ago. After the slushy bath in the cafeteria."

"What made you try it?"

"In the shower that morning, I nicked myself shaving, and I found myself staring at the blood. It made me feel calm."

"So you decided to intentionally make yourself bleed to see if you could get the same feeling?"

"Yes."

"How many times have you cut since then?"

"Uhmm… I'm not sure. A few times."

"Friday of that same week, before 1st period started, when I asked if you were ok and you walked out, did you leave to cut?"

"Yes."

"Why did you do it today?"

"I don't want to answer that one. Not yet."

"Ok, that's fine. How about we take a break for a while. I don't want to push you too much. I just wanted to start making some progress."

"Ok. Quinn, please don't tell anyone."

"I won't for right now Rachel. As long as you agree to talk to me, and don't shut me out, I won't tell. This will stay between us."

"Thank you."

Quinn pulled her into a hug as the brunette buried her face into Quinn's neck and cried. Quinn rubbed circles on Rachel's back and held on tightly to the shaking girl.

After a few minuets, Rachel was showing no signs of calming down and Quinn was starting to get worried about the amount of crying Rachel had done so far that day, and it was just after noon. Quinn remembered the effect of her singing had had on Rachel and decided it was worth a try.

_Breathe in  
__Breathe out  
__Tell me all of your doubts  
__Everybody bleeds this way  
__Just the same_

_Breathe in  
__Breathe out  
__Move on and break down  
__If everyone goes away I will stay_

_We push and pull  
__And I fall down sometimes  
__I'm not letting go  
__You hold the other line_

_'Cause there is a light in your eyes  
__In your eyes_

_Hold on  
__Hold tight if I'm out of your sight  
__And everything keeps moving on  
__Moving on_

_Hold on  
__Hold tight  
__Make it through another night  
__Everyday there comes a song with the dawn_

_We push and pull  
__And I fall down sometimes  
__I'm not letting go  
__You hold the other line_

_'Cause there is a light in your eyes  
__In your eyes_

_There is a light in your eyes  
__In your eyes_

_Breathe in and breathe out  
__Breathe in and breathe out  
__Breathe in and breathe out  
__Breathe in and breathe out_

_Look left  
__Look right  
__To the moon and the night  
__Everything under the stars is in your arms_

_'Cause there is a light in your eyes  
__In your eyes_

_There is a light in your eyes  
__In your eyes_

_There is a light in your eyes  
__In your eyes_

_There is a light in your eyes  
__In your eyes_

Now that Rachel had calmed down and stopped crying, Quinn pulled away to look at the tiny girl still pressed into her body.

"Hey Rach, how about we go get something to eat and go out for a little while? Just to get out of the house."

"Yea. Ok."

The girls made their way inside in silence. Rachel walked towards the staircase as Quinn walked towards the laundry room to put her clothes in the dryer. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that all of the blood had washed out.

When Quinn made it back to Rachel's room, she saw no signs of the brunette. She checked that bathroom with no luck either. She started to get nervous, and began to make her way further down the hallway. Straight ahead she saw that a door was open and walked towards it.

What Quinn saw inside broke her heart further. Rachel was standing at a dresser running her finger over a picture of her and her dads. Quinn could just make out the words she was saying.

"I wish you guys would come home. I wish you didn't leave me so often. I'm so alone and I don't know what to do. I'm not even sure if you guys still want me anymore. I'm starting to think that you regret having me."

Quinn walked to Rachel and gently took her hand and pulled Rachel into another hug. This time, Rachel didn't cry, she just sighed and relaxed into Quinn's embrace.

"Come on Rach, you need to get out for a while." She felt her nod against her shoulder. "They still love you Rachel. They always will."

Back in Rachel's room, Quinn went to her closet and pulled out a pair of jeans and a light long-sleeved shirt for Rachel to wear. Even though it was rather warm out, she knew Rachel wouldn't want her arms showing. She handed the clothes to Rachel who muttered a small "thanks" and began to put them on. She turned around and pulled the t-shirt off and put a bra on, since she was going out in public. When she turned around to grab the shirt, it was then that Quinn noticed the bandages she had put on Rachel's stomach were soaked in blood.

"Don't put a shirt on yet, Rach. Your bandages need changed otherwise it's going to get all over your clothes." Rachel froze and looked down. Finally realizing what she had done earlier and Quinn finding her that way.

"I'll do it Rachel, you don't have to, ok?"

Rachel nodded and followed Quinn into the bathroom.

Quinn gently removed the old bandages and gently wiped them clean with a cool washcloth. She reapplied ointment and covered them.

"Thanks Quinn. I'm really sorry that you had to find me like that. I'm sorry you're taking care of me. I'm sorry that -"

"Stop Rachel. I'm your friend, ok? I'm here to help you in anyway. You need someone to take care of you right now. That's understandable. So let me be the one. You aren't alone anymore."

"Ok." Rachel realized that she probably needed to start talking to Quinn and letting her in more. Outside had been a start for her, and now she really wanted someone to talk to. She also realized that she was still only in a bra and walked back to her room to put the shirt on.

"So where are we going?"

"I was thinking we get some lunch at Breadsticks first, then after that I'm not sure yet. Maybe the movies?"

"Sounds perfect to me." Quinn noticed that Rachel was giving her a genuine smile and actually looked happy.

The girls made it to the restaurant and were lead to a booth in the corner. Rachel had become more relaxed by this point and seemed to be enjoying herself.

After orders were placed, they noticed someone walk up to their booth.

"Tubbers, RuPaul, having ourselves a date are we? Really Q, who would have thought that you would sink low enough to be seen in public with that" Santana sneered as she pointed to Rachel.

Quinn noticed Rachel's smile fade as she sunk further into the seat.

"Leave her alone, Santana. She has done nothing to you."

"Well, actually, she has. She quit Glee Club, basically screwing us all over. But besides that, the fact that she's breathing is doing something to me. You know Q, sharing space with it might infect you with something."

Quinn was pissed at this point and Rachel looked ready to cry.

"Get the fuck away right now Santana." Quinn sneered as she stood up. "If you don't leave I will have them throw you out. I'm so not even close to kidding."

"Whatever Q." Santana rolled her eyes but walked away.

Quinn moved to Rachel's side of the booth and sat down.

"Thank you Quinn. But you didn't have to."

"No, I really did. I told you I'm hear to help you. Santana's a bitch and acts all high and mighty, but she will still back down if I tell her do." Rachel smiled at Quinn just as their food arrived and was set down in front of them. Quinn made no movement to leave Rachel's side.

The girls made small talk as they ate, and both stole glances at each other when the conversation was quiet.

After lunch was finished and paid for (Rachel's treat) they decided to head to the movies.

"So what should we see?" Rachel asked as they continued to stare at the list of movies playing.

"I know what I want to see, but I don't want you to laugh at me."

"I wouldn't do that Quinn. Plus I also know what I want to see, but I don't want you to laugh."

"Ok, lets be childish for a minuet. Count of three say the move." Rachel nodded

"One."

"Two."

"Three."

"Harry Potter" was said simultaneously from both girls. They looked at each other in awe before bursting into giggles."Wow, who would have pictured Rachel Berry, future Broadway star, was into Harry Potter?"

"It's my weakness. And kind of obsession as well. And you're one to talk Quinn."

"Yea, I know. No one knows about my love for it actually."

"You mean I know a secret about Quinn Fabray? Gasp" Rachel put her hand on her head for dramatic fashion. However, it earned her a light smack on the back of the head from Quinn.

"Don't you made fun of me Berry." Quinn narrowed her eyes but couldn't keep a straight face. The girls both laughed and made their way into the theater.

**Song is Breathe In Breathe Out by Mat Kearney**


	18. I'm Ready

**A/N: This is a short chapter, but I didn't want to add more to it. I liked it better short and sweet.**

_I'm Ready_

The girls entered the theater and found seats in the back. Quinn had insisted on paying since Rachel bought lunch. While waiting for the movie to start, the girls continued to steal glances, and blushed when they were caught by one another. Right as the movie started to roll, Quinn reached over and took Rachel's hand in her own, intertwining their fingers. To Quinn's surprise, Rachel didn't pull away, but rather gave Quinn's hand a squeeze and continued to hold on throughout the entire movie.

When the movie ended and the girls made their way out to the car, they never realized they were still holding hands until the tried to walk to separate sides of the car and found themselves pulled back together. The girls blushed as they looked down at their intertwined hands and back at each other. When neither of them moved, Rachel was the first to let go and she pushed Quinn towards the driver's side of the car as she walked to the other. When both girls were buckled into their seats and Quinn had the car started, Rachel reached over and took Quinn's hand back in her own as they smiled at each other.

Both girls realized at that moment, that they were falling for each other, but they were sure that the other didn't feel the same way.

They girls headed towards Rachel's house in silence until Rachel decided to speak up.

"You know Quinn. I am grateful for your offer to stay with me until my dads return home, but there really is no need. I don't want you to change your time around for me."

"Don't even worry Rach. I want to spend time with you. And honestly, I really don't want to be home alone. In a way, we can be each others support."

Rachel smiled "Ok Quinn. But if you change your mind at any point, please tell me."

"I promise I'll tell you, but don't count on it happening."

A few more minutes passed in silence before Quinn broke the quiet this time.

"You know Rach, I haven't heard you sing in a long time. I've been doing most of the singing lately and I'm starting to miss your voice."

"I thought about that too. I miss singing honestly."

Rachel was quiet for a minute before speaking up again.

"Hey Quinn. I would like to sing you something when we get home. If that's ok with you."

"I would love that Rachel." Quinn smiled and noticed that Rachel's hand was shaking slightly. "Rachel, what's wrong? Why are you shaking? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. Just nervous about this is all."

When the girls arrived home, Rachel made her way upstairs to find the music and Quinn went to the kitchen to grab them both a bottle of water. When she made it to Rachel's room, she found the brunette staring nervously at the screen of her lap top. Quinn sat the bottle next to her.

"Whenever your ready Rach, no rush, ok?"

"I'm ready. Just please let me finish the song before you say anything, ok?"

"Ok"

Quinn sat down on the bed as Rachel stood and hit play for the music. The tune was unfamiliar to Quinn, no matter how hard she tried to place it. Rachel's voice slowly and quietly started to fill the room.

_I'm not a stranger  
__No I am yours  
__With crippled anger  
__And tears that still drip sore_

_A fragile frame aged  
__With misery  
__And when our eyes meet  
__I know you see_

_I do not want to be afraid  
__I do not want to die inside just to breathe in  
__I'm tired of feeling so numb  
__Relief exists I find it when  
__I am cut_

Quinn now realized what Rachel was singing about.

_I may seem crazy  
__Or painfully shy  
__And these scars wouldn't be so hidden  
__If you would just look me in the eye  
__I feel alone here and cold here  
__Though I don't want to die  
__But the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside  
_

_I do not want to be afraid  
__I do not want to die inside just to breathe in  
__I'm tired of feeling so numb  
__Relief exists I find it when  
__I am cut  
__Pain  
__I am not alone  
__I am not alone_

A tear escaped down Quinn's cheek as her heart continued to break for Rachel.

_I'm not a stranger  
__No I am yours  
__With crippled anger  
__And tears that still drip sore_

_But I do not want to be afraid  
__I do not want to die inside just to breathe in  
__I'm tired of feeling so numb  
__Relief exists I found it when  
__I was cut_

As the music ended Rachel breathed a sigh of relief and let a few tears fall.  
" I'm ready to talk now Quinn."

**Song is "Cut" by Plumb**


	19. Keep Holding On

" _I'm ready to talk now Quinn."_

_

* * *

_

_Keep Holding On_

Quinn simply nodded, knowing that she needed to wait for Rachel to continue.

Rachel moved to settle on the bed. Since Quinn was sitting up against the headboard, Rachel sat between Quinn's legs and leaned back so her back was against Quinn's front, her head laying on Quinn's chest. She knew that she wouldn't be able to say the things she wanted if she was looking at Quinn, it would be too hard. Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel and waited.

Rachel took a deep breath and wiped away the last of the tears before she began.

'I'm sorry Quinn, but I can't look at you, not yet. Not until I get this out."

"I understand Rach. Take your time. I'm not going anywhere. We can stay like this as long as you need to." Quinn pulled Rachel tighter into herself and unconsciously started to rub slow circles on the girls stomach.

"To answer your question from this morning, I cut today because I felt like I deserved the pain. I feel like my dads don't care about me anymore. I called my dads after you left and when my daddy hung up he didn't even tell me he loves me. All I got was a "bye" from him. I haven't talked to him in over a week and he didn't even tell me he loves me. I know it's stupid, but I couldn't help it. I just feel like I'm not worth it. That I'm not worthy of being loved."

Quinn swallowed back the tears that were starting to form in her eyes.

"I started cutting because I wanted to feel some sort of control in my life. I'm always being pushed around by everyone. I feel like I have no control over anything. Everyone at school looks down on me and basically tells me how horrible I am on a daily basis. All of the names, slushies, being shoved into lockers, thrown into dumpsters, it all is just becoming too much. I don't want to let them see how much it actually hurts me. I don't want to give them the pleasure of seeing me down."

She paused to gather her thoughts as Quinn leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"Glee used to be my safe place. It was where I could go to be happy. But all of that has been taken away. Now, I'm continually mocked and made fun of. I quit because I couldn't take it anymore. I refuse to take it from them any longer. And Mr. Shu doesn't even do a thing about it. He sits back and lets them do it, and when I say anything, I get screamed at. Glee has now become my nightmare. I miss it and want to be back, but I won't let myself get treated like that again. At least when I'm cutting, I'm doing it to myself and no one else has any part of it. It's about me and my control over my life."

Rachel stopped to wipe the tears rolling down her cheeks as Quinn let a few of her own escape.

"Cutting makes me feel better. It's a release for everything I'm feeling. It's a way to let everything out since I have no one. I have no friends, my dads are my only family and they're not even around, and Finn cheated on me, probably since I wouldn't sleep with him, but still."

"I have to interrupt here. Finn is an ass and he doesn't deserve you. He never did. He never treated you the way you deserved to be treated. He's just a jackass."

"I know, but I still can't help feeling the way I do. It'll just take some time to get over it."

"I understand."

"I don't want to stop cutting. Not yet. Right now it's what I have. However, since I have you right now, maybe it won't be as often and maybe I won't need it much longer. But right now, I feel like I have to so I don't go insane. I can't take the build up of everything anymore. Please Quinn, please don't leave me alone. I can't do this alone. You're all I have left."

"I'm not going anywhere Rachel, I promise you I will never leave you alone, not again. I'm here to help you. I won't force you to do anything you're not ready for. But, I am going to ask that you talk to me before you cut. Just to see if maybe I can calm you down. We can also work on some ways to help you without you needed to cut, ok?"

"Ok. Thank you Quinn. I can't promise you that I will talk to you every time, but I will try though."

"Look at me Rachel."

Rachel turned around so she was now facing Quinn.

"All I'm asking is for you to try. Nothing more, nothing less. We can figure this out together. I swear to you I'm here for you anytime. Even at 3 in the morning, ok?"

Rachel nodded before she threw herself into Quinn's arms and cried. This time, she cried for all of the pain she was feeling inside. She felt relief wash over her as she let everything out. It felt good to have someone to talk to for a change.

Quinn, realizing that Rachel probably wasn't in the most comfortable position, she carefully shifted their bodies so she was laying on her back with Rachel laying on top of her, her face buried in Quinn's chest as she continued to sob. Quinn's arms stayed wrapped around Rachel as she began to sing quietly. She knew Rachel had chosen the song specifically for her last year, so this time she decided it would be her choice for Rachel.

_You're not alone, together we stan  
d__I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand  
__When it gets cold, and it feels like the end  
__There's no place to go, you know I won't give in_

_(Ahh, ahh)  
__No I won't give in  
__(Ahh, ahh)_

_Keep holding on  
__Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through  
__Just stay strong  
__Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you_

_There's nothing you can say (Nothing you can say)  
__Nothing you can do (Nothing you can do)  
__There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
__So - keep holding on  
__Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_

_So far away, I wish you were here  
__Before it's too late, this could all disappear  
__Before the doors close, and it comes to an end  
__With you by my side I will fight and defend_

_(Ahh, ahh)  
__I'll fight and defend  
__(Ahh, ahh)  
__Yeeah, yeah_

_Keep holding on  
__Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through  
__Just stay strong  
__Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you_

_There's nothing you can say (Nothing you can say)  
__Nothing you can do (Nothing you can do)  
__There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
__So - keep holding on  
__Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_

_Hear me when I say when I say I believe  
__Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny  
__Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly_

_Yeeah, yeah, yeah, yeaaaah  
__La da da da  
__La da da da  
__La da da da da da da da da da_

_Keep holding on  
__Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through  
__Just stay strong  
__Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you_

_There's nothing you can say (Nothing you can say)  
__Nothing you can do (Dooo, do)  
__There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
__So - keep holding on  
__Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_

_(Ahh, ahh)  
__(Ahh, ahh)  
__Keep holding on  
__(Ahh, ahh)  
__(Ahh, ahh)  
__Keep holding on_

_There's nothing you can say (Nothing you can say)  
__Nothing you can do (Doo, do)  
__There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
__So - keep holding on (Keep holding on)  
__Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_

When Quinn finished, she noticed Rachel's breathing had evened out and she was no longer crying. She was pretty sure she was asleep, so Quinn began to talk to her.

"I'm so sorry Rachel. I'm sorry for the things that I've put you through. I'm sorry that I wasn't brave enough to stand up for you. I'm sorry that I let things get this bad. You honestly are one of the kindest people that I've ever met and all I've done is treat you like shit. I don't deserve to be forgiven for what I've done. I can't accept your forgiveness yet, not until I make things right for you." The tears were rolling down Quinn's cheeks as she continued. "I don't think I'm brave enough to tell you this while you're awake, but I think I like you Rachel. I mean really like you. Not as a friend, but something more. I just don't think that you feel the same way and I don't want you to push me away if you found out about this and didn't like me back. That's why I can't tell you. I'm sorry Rach." Quinn placed another kiss to Rachel's head before closing her eyes.

What Quinn didn't know was that Rachel had been awake the entire time, with a few tears escaping at Quinn's words. She decided to take action and make the first move.

Rachel lifted her head and shifted just slightly, keeping an eye on Quinn, who still had her eyes closed and hadn't noticed Rachel moving on top of her. She noticed how beautiful Quinn was.

Rachel leaned down while cupping one of Quinn's cheek in her hand, and placed her lips on Quinn's.

It took Quinn a moment to realize what was happening before she kissed Rachel back.

Rachel's tongue swiped at Quinn's lips asking for permission, which Quinn was more then happy to grant. Rachel slipped her tongue into Quinn's mouth and met hers and began massaging it with her own. Quinn let out an involuntary moan at the sensation.

All too soon, the need for oxygen became too great and the girls broke apart panting. Rachel laid her head underneath Quinn's chin as she caught her breath.

"I was awake the entire time Quinn. And I really like you too. I didn't think that you felt that same way so I couldn't tell you. I was scared of being rejected and losing the only friend I have."

"You'll never lose me Rach, I promise."

"I'm glad. And as much as I'm enjoying laying on top of you, my jeans are digging in and my stomach is a little sore. I need to change, and you probably should too."

Rachel climbed off Quinn and the bed and offered Quinn a hand to stand up. Both girls noticed the wetness that had formed in their panties from the make-out session.

The girls dressed and got situated for bed in silence. Again, both stealing glances at each other, this time as they changed. Quinn had already seen Rachel naked but she couldn't help but stare at her incredibly long legs. Rachel couldn't stop herself from looking at Quinn's toned stomach. Finding no traces of ever being pregnant on her.

The girls climbed back into bed, this time Rachel snuggled into Quinn, with both of their fronts pressed together.

"Hey Quinn?"

"Yea Rach?"

"Thank you. And I understand that you can't accept my forgiveness yet. Not until it feels right for you, but just know that it'll always be here for you. Also, is it ok if we talk about whatever we are in the morning? I'm really tired and all I want to do right now is have you hold me."

"Sounds good to me Rach. I'd rather wait till morning anyway to give us the night to think." Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel and pulled her close. This time, Quinn placed a kiss to Rachel's lips.

"Goodnight, Rachel."

"Goodnight, Quinn."

**A/N: Ok there. Some Faberry kissing for you. I was going to wait till the next chapter, but I feel nice today.**

**Song is "Keep Holding On" by Avril Lavigne**


	20. Teach Me?

_Teach Me?_

When Rachel awoke the next morning around 9, she found herself on top of Quinn, again. She noticed that she had her thigh between Quinn's legs, while one of Quinn's thighs was between hers. They were basically straddling each other in their sleep. This thought sent a jolt through Rachel's body before settling between her legs. She couldn't decided if she wanted to wake up Quinn or just head straight to the shower to take care of herself and wake Quinn after.

She decided on the first idea and placed a kiss to Quinn's lips, morning breath be damned. When Quinn didn't stir, she placed a deeper kiss on Quinn, who moaned in her sleep.

"Come on Quinn, wake up."

"Nope, wanna sleep more. Hold you."

Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel's waste and shifted, causing her thigh to press hard into Rachel, who let out a moan at the feeling. She instantly felt herself getting wet from just the quick contact. Now she really did need to shower, but Quinn's arms were holding her back. Rachel pressed her thigh into Quinn, causing a moan in return.

Rachel placed another kiss to Quinn's lips before moving to her jaw line, kissing her way up to the still sleeping blondes ear. She sucked the lobe into her mouth and Quinn moaned again as her eyes shot open at the sensation.

"Oh my gosh, that feels really good."

"Well I was trying to wake you up and was having no luck, so I decided to be creative." She said before sucking on the lobe again, nibbling gently on it.

"Rachel, not that I'm complaining or anything, but I don't want us to go too fast. I want us both to be comfortable with this."

"I know, I want that too. I don't want to go too far just yet. Just a little, if that's ok with you?"

Quinn looked into Rachel's eyes and noticed they were almost black with desire. She felt a gush in her underwear at the sight.

"Ok Rachel, but we have to stop if either of us gets uncomfortable."

"I agree. Really, I just want to make out with you. I can handle the rest on my own if need be."

Quinn found herself shocked at Rachel's openness about taking care of "that" herself. Quinn had never done that before, even when her pregnancy hormones drove her crazy. She had never had "it" happen. Puck was a one and only time thing, and it didn't happen with him.

Rachel felt Quinn freeze and noticed that she stared off somewhere.

"Quinn?"

"…"

"QUINN!"

"Wait, sorry. What?"

"Are you ok? Is this too much. Did I do something wrong? Is it me? I'm sorry Quinn, I should never have said that to you." Rachel started to pull herself off of Quinn when she felt a pair of arms pull her back down.

"It's not you Rachel. I'm just scared is all. Puck was a one time only thing and I've never been really open about all of this. We don't even know what this is between us yet. I don't want to ruin it by going too fast."

"I understand perfectly Quinn. And since we both just recently broke up with our respective now ex-boyfriends, I think we should take our time. I'm sorry. I'm just kind of turned on at the moment and it's getting the better of me."

"Hey Rachel, can I ask you something, well, personal?"

"Yea, sure…"

"Did you sleep with Finn?"

"No. I did not. I did not sleep with Jesse either, despite the rumors. I'm still a virgin Quinn. Fair enough answer for you?"

"Yes, actually. I'm sorry. I was just wondering."

"It's fine, don't even worry about it. You would have to ask me eventually anyway, if we go further, you're just getting it out of the way now."

"Yea. Rach, you're going to have to give me a little time to adjust to the whole talking about sex and what not thing. My family has never been open about this sort of thing, so I'm not used to it."

"I understand perfectly. We'll go slow until we both get used to this, ok?"

"Ok. Thank you for being understanding about this."

"No problem. How about we shower and then talk over breakfast? You can use my bathroom and I'll use the one down the hall."

"You don't have to. You should use your own and I'll use the spare one."

"Nope, not going to happen. You're the guest and I say you use mine. Too bad." Rachel stuck her tongue out at Quinn who gave her a playful tickle in her sides, causing Rachel she shriek and jump, falling off the bed and land with a thud on the floor in the process.

"Ouch." Rachel mumbled into the carpet.

Quinn shot out of the bed and onto the floor next the Rachel.

"Oh crap. Rachel, are you ok? I'm so so sorry. I didn't know you were that ticklish."

"It's alright. It's not like you could know anyway. Ok. I think I'm going to, uhmm, go shower now. I'll be back in a bit. Everything you could need is in the bathroom and there are towels in the closet in there. Anything else you need, just ask."

"…"

"Quinn? What is it?"

"This is really embarrassing, but.. Uh.. I've never done "that" before… And I don't.. really know how… And-" Quinn's face had turned bright red as she stumbled through her words.

"Do you want me to teach you how to masturbate Quinn?" Rachel asked her simply.

Quinn managed to turn even redder as she looked away and nodded. "You don't have to Rachel. I can just look it up or something. I don't want you to if you don't want."

"As informative as the internet is, I would rather you didn't. I'll help you Quinn."

"Ok. But first, Rachel? Will you be my girlfriend? If you want to wait that's fine. But I know what I want. If you want to wait and think about it some more I have no problem with that. I just wanted to-"

Quinn was cut off by Rachel smashing their lips together.

"Is that a yes then?" Quinn asked as she pulled away.

Rachel rolled her eyes "No Quinn, not at all." Quinn could head the sarcasm dripping from Rachel's voice and she smiled.

Quinn grabbed Rachel and kissed her in relief and happiness.

Quinn pulled away when she couldn't take it any longer "Ok Rachel. I need you to teach help me get off before I explode."

Rachel cocked an eyebrow at Quinn's sudden openness and choice of words.

"Getting a little impatient there Quinn?"

All Rachel got in return was a frantic nod from Quinn.

"Fine. Strip and get on the bed." Rachel said she pulled her own shirt off.

**A/N: Hehe. Ok, I'm being mean and cutting it off there. The next chapter will be Rachel teaching Quinn how to "do the deed" It will be filled with smutty goodness and details. I promise! **


	21. The Deed

**A/N: Ok, this chapter is nothing but smut. You have been warned. **

_The Deed_

Quinn was naked, sitting up against Rachel's headboard with her knees up and legs spread open, staring at her expectantly before Rachel even had her shorts off."You really don't waste any time, do you Quinn?" Rachel giggled as she pulled the rest of her clothing crawled across the bed to Quinn and placed a lingering kiss to her lips before settling against the footboard, mirroring Quinn's position. Both girls raked their eyes over one another's body.

Even though Quinn had seen Rachel naked the day before, it wasn't like this. She noticed Rachel's perfect breasts. They were round and full, bigger then she would have thought. Her dark nipples were hard and pointing at her. She drug her eyes down Rachel's tight stomach and watched as the muscles twitched under her skin. She let her eyes drift down to Rachel's center as she heard a gasp from Rachel. Quinn didn't even look up, just continued to stare. Quinn had been right, Rachel was completely bare. She lips were slightly parted and Quinn could see the wetness glistening everywhere.

As Quinn was staring at Rachel, Rachel was doing the same to Quinn.

Rachel's eyes drifted down from Quinn's flushed collar bone to her round, perky breasts. Quinn's nipples were pink and pointing to Rachel. Her eyes moved down to Quinn's very toned stomach. Rachel found no traces of Quinn ever being pregnant, not even a single stretch mark on her flawless porcelain skin. Rachel's eyes finally made it to Quinn's center. She let out a gasp as she realized Quinn was bare except for a small landing strip of dark blonde hair. Her lips were open and swollen. Her clit was almost completely out of its hood. She could see the wetness dripping from her opening. Quinn was absolutely soaked.

Rachel took a shaky breath before moving her eyes back to Quinn's, who was looking, slightly impatient, at her."Ok Quinn, I think the best way to do this would be for me to demon straight on myself as I walk you through. That way you can watch if you get confused and also so we can both get release. Ok?"All Quinn could do was nod as she processed the words. She was going to watch her hot as fuck, newly decided girlfriend, get off, as she got herself off. She couldn't wait.

"Ok Quinn, even though you're clearly turned on and ready, I'm going to start from the beginning anyway so you learn to work yourself up. First, I want you to lightly trail you fingertip along your collarbone, paying attention to the feeling."Quinn watched as Rachel did as instructed, and started to follow her movements. She couldn't believe that something so simple could feel so good.

"Good Quinn. Now start trailing your fingers lower on you chest and between you breasts a few times."Quinn watched as Rachel went lower and her fingers danced over her skin. Rachel let Quinn play for a few minutes before moving on. Both girls were already panting, and they hadn't even touch the good spots yet.

"Now I want you to make light circles on both of your breasts. You can do one at a time or both, it's up to you. But don't touch your nipples yet.

Quinn slowly circled her right breast as she watched Rachel use both hands on her own. Quinn copied the movement and brunt her left hand up and started to play. She couldn't stop the small whimper that escaped her mouth."Does it feel good Quinn? Are you enjoying this? I know I am. Watching you touch yourself is the sexiest thing I've ever seen. Play with you nipples, Quinn. Roll them between you fingers for me."Quinn did as ordered and let out a moan as she squeezed both nipples."That's right Quinn, keep going. Don't be afraid to get a little rough. Do what feels good for you." Rachel moaned out before she twisted one of her own 's mouth went dry as she watched more of Rachel's juices drip out from her very swollen pussy.

"When you think you've worked yourself up enough, slowly slide your fingers down you stomach. Feel your muscles twitch as you go lower.

Both girls simultaneously danced their fingers along their stomachs, slowly going lower, stopping right before they reached their mounds.

"Ok Quinn, don't touch your clit right away, you want to prolong that for a little bit still. Slowly trace your outer lips, then move to your inner lips. Feel the wetness soaking your pussy."

Quinn groaned at Rachel's words and did as she was told. She could feel the slippery wetness under her fingers. She continued to stroke as she watched Rachel do the same.

Both girl's eyes were glued to each others centers as the played.

"More Rachel, I need more." Quinn was stunned she managed to for a word, let alone a sentence.

"Ok Quinn. Dip a finger in just enough to gather some of the wetness and use that finger to rub circles around your clit, still avoiding touching it completely."

Both girls did as Rachel instructed.

"Now, gather more of you juices and stroke your clit up and down, slowly. Alternate rubbing circles on your clit as well."

As soon as Quinn's finger made contact with the clit, her hips bucked and she let out a loud moan as Rachel moaned simultaneously as she rubbed circles on her very swollen clit.

They continued to rub for a little while longer. Quinn felt as if she was getting close to something, but she wasn't sure what. Rachel was also close as well.

"Now stop playing with you clit and slide a finger down to your entrance. Trace around your hole, just barely slipping a finger inside. Then, slide your finger in once it's nice an wet. Feel around for your g-spot, it's behind your clit. You'll know when you find it. When you do, press on it and rub."

Quinn played around her hole, relishing in the feel, then slipped a single inside herself. She groaned at how hot and wet it was inside. She watched as Rachel slowly pushed her own finger in and out of herself, and decided to do the same. Quinn about screamed as she found the spongy patch inside herself.

"You can add more fingers if you want, you just stay with one. It's up to you and what you feel comfortable with. You can pump faster too." Rachel was having a hard time talking by this point.

Quinn watched in awe as Rachel added two more fingers inside herself, brining her up to three, and started to pump faster. Deciding to play it safe, she only added a second finger inside herself and matched Rachel's pace.

"Use your other hand and rub you clit. You'll know you're close when you feel your walls start to contract around your fingers. Keep pumping and rubbing as you come to lengthen the feeling."

Rachel's other hand immediately started rubbing furious circles around her clit and Quinn could see her hole squeezing around her fingers.

"I'm gunna come Quinn, come with me." Rachel squeaked out.

That was all it took to start feeling herself contract around her own fingers.

"Pinch you clit and come Quinn."

Both girls did as Rachel instructed and screamed as their orgasms overtook them. They continued to pump in and out of themselves to ride it out.

When they came down from the ceiling they had floated up to, they slowly removed their fingers. Quinn licked her lips at the sight of Rachel's wet fingers and knew she had to taste them. She didn't bother to ask before she sat up, grabbing Rachel's hand, and sucking the fingers into her mouth.

"Oh fuck Quinn, that's hot." Rachel moaned as she grabbed Quinn's hand and did the same.

The girls moaned at the taste of each other as they sucked the fingers clean.

Once they were satisfied, they pulled the fingers out, and crashed their lips together. They moaned again as the taste of themselves mixed together in their mouths as their tongues danced.

Quinn pulled away first. "That was the best fucking thing I've ever felt. Thank you Rachel. Thank you, thank you, thank you." She threw her arms around Rachel.

"You're welcome Quinn. I'm glad I could be of some help to you." She gave her a wide smile.

"Hey Rach, you said something about a shower earlier?"

Rachel was on her feet and yanking Quinn off the bed and into the bathroom before she even had a chance to blink.

It was going to be a good day.


	22. It Was Going To Be A Good Day

_**A/N: Sorry its taken me so long. This was going to be up yesterday but I got called into work. Therefore, to make it up, you get a little of the shower scene. Forgive me?**_

_It was going to be a good day._

When they reached the bathroom, Rachel turned on the warm water and shoved Quinn inside, slamming the door shut. As Rachel effectively pinned Quinn to the wall, she found herself surprised by the tiny diva's strength. However, as Rachel's mouth found Quinn's pulse point on her neck, all coherent thoughts running through Quinn's mind disappeared as she let out a moan.

"Rachel…that feels….so good." Quinn could feel Rachel smile against her neck before she pulled away.

"Thank you Quinn. I'm glad that you're enjoying it. I haven't really done this before so.."

"Less talking, more sucking." Quinn groaned as she pulled Rachel back to her neck.

Rachel took the hint and continued to suck on Quinn's pulse point, only stopping to switch sides.

After Rachel spend the a few minutes working on Quinn's neck, she reluctantly pulled away to place a kiss to her lips. Both girls stood with their foreheads pressed together, panting.

"I'm turned on again Rach."

"Yea, I am too. I'm not ready to go quite that far yet though, Quinn."

"I'm not either, honestly."

"How about this, tell me if it's too much." Rachel told her as she slid her thigh between Quinn's legs and pushed into her dripping wet center. Causing both girls to gasp.

"No, I think I'm ok with this." Quinn squeaked out as she pushed her own thigh into Rachel.

"Yep…Works for me too."

They both proceeded to rock against each other, their wet nipples rubbing together. The only sounds that could be heard was the running shower water and the moans of both girls mixing together.

It didn't take long until both girls were on edge.

"Quinn, I'm gunna come."

"Me too."

Rachel rocked hard into Quinn and sent both girls tumbling off the edge as they screamed their release.

When the girls recovered their breaths, Rachel grabbed a bath puff and washed Quinn's entire body, paying special attention to her breasts and between her legs. Quinn shuttered as the puff swiped over her now sensitive core.

When Rachel was finished, Quinn snatched the puff and returned the favor.

By this point the water was starting to get cool, they mutually decided to quickly wash their own hair and get out.

As they stepped out of the shower and proceeded to dry off, Rachel noticed that she was in such a hurry to get Quinn in the shower, she had left the bandage covering her stomach on. She gently removed the tape and pulled the covering off, wincing as the bandaged pull the cuts and caused them to start to bleed slightly. When she looked down at them, it was then that she realized how deep they actually were this time.

Quinn had been watching Rachel during the process and gently lifted Rachel's head so their eyes met.

"It'll be ok Rach. I'm going to help you."

Rachel nodded as Quinn reached into the drawer and bandaged up Rachel's stomach in a flash.

"Why don't we head to the mall for a little while today? We can shop till we drop. What do you say?""I don't know Quinn. What if we run into someone there? And are you sure you want to be seen with me?"

Quinn's smile faltered at Rachel assumption. She took the smaller girls face between her hands "Rachel, stop. I'm not ashamed of you in any way. Besides, maybe I want to show off what a hot girlfriend I have." Quinn placed a quick kiss to Rachel's nose and danced out of the bathroom to her laptop that was sitting next to Rachel's.

She scrolled through her itunes before settling on a song and clicking play.

Music soon filled the air and she took Rachel's hands and yanked her out of the bathroom where she was still standing in shock at Quinn's words.

Quinn started to sing to Rachel as they danced around the room.

_Compare the way my body looks through the magazines,  
__Don't know why everybody's buying into the scene.  
__So I'm gonna drive down the boulevard  
__Not caring who has the fastest car,  
__Tone down the makeup, and the noise,  
__Cause whats inside will bring the boys._

_I don't wanna look like you because  
__You're too perfect  
__You're too perfect.  
__And I don't wanna fill your shoes cause  
__Its not worth it  
__Its not worth it  
__Don't fill the mold, i am real  
__Too colorful to conceal.  
__Imperfect is the new perfect  
__Imperfect is the new perfect_

_If skin and bones is the secret to all your happiness  
__Then pop your pills cause the money is never gonna last_

_So save the plastic for the toys,  
__Come out your shell just make a noise_

_I'm gonna run  
__I'm gonna live  
__I'm gonna smile and not fit in  
__I'm gonna dance  
__I'm gonna strut  
__I'll shake my curves  
__And not give a fuck_

_I don't wanna look like you because  
__You're too perfect  
__You're too perfect.  
__And I don't wanna fill your shoes cause its  
__Not worth it its not worth it  
__Don't fit the mold, i am real.  
__Too colorful to conceal.  
__Imperfect is the new perfect  
__Imperfect is the new perfect_

_Just dry your eyes your beautiful  
__I understand its logical  
__Cause these images are everywhere  
__They're make believe so don't compare  
__I don't wanna compare_

_We're every shape and size  
__You know we're  
__Just perfect  
__We're just perfect  
__We love our hips our thighs  
__Because they're  
__Just perfect  
__Just perfect  
__Don't fit the mold, I am real.  
__To colorful to conceal.  
__Imperfect is the new perfect  
__Imperfect is the new perfect_

_I don't wanna look like you because  
__You're too perfect  
__You're too perfect.  
__And i don't wanna fill your shoes because its  
__Not worth it its not worth it  
__Don't fit the mold, I am real  
__Too colorful to conceal.  
__Imperfect is the new perfect  
__Imperfect is the new perfect_

_Imperfect is the new perfect  
__Imperfect is the new perfect  
__Imperfect is the new perfect _

As the song ended Quinn walked to Rachel's closet to find the girl some clothes.

"You know Rach, if you would have worn more of the normal clothes you own, you might not have gotten slushied."

"Actually Quinn, I did wear normal clothes at the start of high school, but I was still slushied. I started wearing the skirts and sweaters since they were cheap and I wouldn't ruin my good clothes. Also, didn't you just contradict the song you just sang by saying that?"

"Oh, yea, I guess I did. Oops. And I'm sorry about the slushie thing Rach."

"Ok Quinn, new rule. No more apologizing. I don't want to hear anymore from you regarding this. We have moved past this now."

"Alight, if you say so." Quinn replied as she threw Rachel a long sleeved button up shirt and jeans.

Both girls quickly got dressed and headed downstairs to find something quick to eat. Rachel settled on a bowl of fruit while Quinn had a bowl of cereal.

After shoveling in their food, they headed outside.

"I'm driving this time Quinn. You drove yesterday."

"Sure, if you want. But you better not get me killed Berry."

Rachel knew from Quinn's tone that she was messing with her and decided to play along. "Don't tempt me Fabray or I just might have to."

This caused both girls to giggle as the jumped into Rachel's Jeep and headed to the mall.

As Rachel parked the car and they made their way to the entrance, neither girl noticed the black SUV parked a few spots away from them.

**A/N: Ok, this one I'm ending here. I may get the next chapter up tonight, if not it will be up tomorrow. Question time. Do you guys want Quinn to end up moving in with the Berry's or no? Also, do you want Rachel and Shelby to start to get along, or have Rachel continue to push her away? I think that's all for now!**

**Song: Imperfect Is The New Perfect by Caitlin Crosby**


	23. The Dance Off

_The Dance Off_

It had been about three hours since the girls had entered the mall and they were each carrying about half a dozen shopping bags. Each had found some new jeans and tops, along with a handful of jewelry.

"Hey Quinn, why don't we ditch all these bags in the car before we continue on. I'm getting kind of hungry as well."

"Yea, I was starting to think the same thing as well. I'm starving actually."

The girls made it out to the Jeep and back inside to the food court under five minutes.

Quinn wanted Italian while Rachel was dieing for Chinese. They separated to their respective stands before meeting back at the table.

As the girls chatted while they ate, Quinn noticed that Rachel subconsciously pushed her sleeves up. She was surprised at the act, but decided to let it go and never thought twice about it.

Food had been inhaled in record time.

"Wow, I guess I was more hungry then I thought."

"Seriously, I don't think I've ever seen you eat that fast Rach. So how about we hit the other side of the mall before heading home? We do have to go back to school tomorrow. Unfortunately."

"Ugh. Must you remind me about that? Do you know how long you'll be staying with me? I'm not trying to kick you out or anything, I was just wondering is all." The conversation carried on as the girls made their way to the other end of the mall.

"Sure you're not Rach."

Rachel glared at her as Quinn put her arms up in surrender.

"I was only kidding." Quinn lowered her hands and took Rachel's in her own, intertwining their fingers.

As the girls stared into a window, trying to decide if they should enter or not, Quinn, feeling eyes on her looked around. Her eyes landed immediately on Shelby.

Shelby was standing, staring at the girls, mouth open. She started to walk towards the girls, but froze when Quinn sent her best HBIC glare towards her, daring her to even try to get anywhere near Rachel.

Rachel had told Quinn everything that had happened between her and Shelby, and Quinn was not letting that woman anywhere near her Rachel anytime soon. She as fine with Shelby having Beth, knowing that it was best for her, but she was not letting her hurt Rachel again, this was different

Quinn noticed Beth wasn't with Shelby, but figured she was with a sitter. Shelby had probably not wanted to bring an infant along to shop.

Quinn, deciding to act before Shelby tried anything, pulled Rachel into the nearest music shop, sending one more glare towards Shelby for good measure.

What the girls didn't know, was that Shelby happened to catch sight of Rachel's arms since her sleeves were still pushed up.

"What was that? No, Rachel wouldn't. She couldn't do that to herself. Actually Shelby, you don't know that. You just pushed her away. You wouldn't have a clue. Great, now you're talking to yourself Shelby. Get a grip!" She shook her head and walked away, decided that she really didn't want to get on Quinn's bad side

Somehow, Quinn had managed to pull Rachel into the nearest game/music store.

"Crap, this will be a while" she tells herself. However, as soon as her eyes land on the xbox with the kinect set up in the corner of the store, she's gone before Rachel has a chance to blink.

Rachel looks around the store, confused to where her blonde girlfriend had suddenly disappeared to. Finally she spots her in the corner, standing with some other customers watching a worker demonstrate a game. Rachel giggled and walked over.

"You know Quinn, I could put on a better show for you at home if you'd like."

Quinn jumped, not expecting Rachel to be whispering in her ear in that tone of voice. "Huh?"

"I have the whole set up at home. It was a guilt present from my dads actually."

"Rachel Berry, are you holding out on me?"

"Well.. I guess so." Rachel gave Quinn a wink.

Quinn grabbed Rachel's hand and yanked her out of the store.

"A little excited there Quinn?"

Quinn froze out of embarrassment when she realized what she was doing. "Crap. Ok, yes I'm a little excited. I've been wanting to play with that thing forever but I've never had a chance." Rachel had an eyebrow raised looking at her "Don't look at me like that Rachel. It's not funny." Rachel's hand was over her mouth trying to contain her giggles. She was failing miserably.

"I'm sorry Quinn. I've never seen you this excited. Not even this morning. I won't let the fact that you're a game nerd, don't worry. Now lets go home! I want to wipe the floor with your body in a dance battle, Fabray."

"Oh it's so on Berry! You're going down!"

They walked as quickly as the could without drawing attention to themselves towards the exit nearest their parking lot, both breaking into a run towards the Jeep.

Rachel beat Quinn their by a few steps."I win!"

"You know Berry, for as small as you are, I wouldn't think you could move that fast."

"Oh Quinn, I can do things that would probably surprise you." Rachel wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at Quinn, who felt a rush of heat run through her body and straight to her core. She groaned before jumping into the car "Home, James."

"Bite me Quinn." Rachel shot back."Don't tempt me."

This time it was Rachel's turn to feel the rush of heat.

When the girls got home, they drug their bags into the house, and Quinn sprinted towards the living room and stood (impatiently) waiting for Rachel.

"Humm, Quinn. How do you expect us to play in there with all of the furniture?"

"Crap, I hadn't thought about that. Are you screwing with me about this whole thing"

"No Quinn. Come on." She pulled Quinn towards a door off the hallway and headed downstairs.

Quinn's mouth dropped at what she saw. The room was huge with an even bigger television mounted on the wall. The furniture was already shoved against the walls, leaving more then enough room for them to play.

Rachel turned on the television and the game system and put in Dance Central as Quinn waited.

"Ok, since you've never played before, we'll start out with an easy one."

Quinn watched as Rachel selected Poker Face for their first song, and then set it to "hard" for herself and "easy" for Quinn.

"You're going to make me play on easy, really? Don't you know who I am?"

"Well Quinn, if you want a harder level, you're more then welcome to go though learning the steps with the tutorial first, but I figured by just starting you on easy, that could be avoided since it's fairly simple on easy."

"Fine Berry, but don't be complaining when I still kick your ass."

Three minutes later, Quinn was eating her words. Rachel had successfully kicked her ass and in her own words "wiped the floor with her body" by beating her by a few thousand points.

"You were saying Quinn?"

"Shut it Berry. I demand a re-match!"

"If you insist." Rachel restarted the song.

Again, she beat Quinn.

"Ok. That's not fair. Pick one that you haven't played yet."

"Alright. But I'm still going to win you know."

"Don't get cocky, Berry."

Rachel selected Push It and set it to easy for both of them.

Quinn lost. Again.

Quinn glared at Rachel as she smirked at her.

"But, how? I'm a cheerleader. Head cheerleader. I can do stuff the rest of them can't."

"I'm a trained dancer. I've been dancing since I was three. Care to continue?"

"Bring it."

Two hours later, both girls were exhausted, covered in sweat, and panting, collapsed on the floor. The final score was Rachel-20, Quinn-1.

"Damn Berry. I have no idea you could move like that."

"Again, I can do things that would surprise you."

"At this point, I don't doubt it."

"I think we should shower, and find more food. I'm rather hungry again after all of this."

"I agree. Can we shower together again?"

"How about you go shower, I'll start dinner, then we'll switch. That way everything will be done at once."

Quinn pouted.

"Now don't look at me like that." Rachel said in a mocking tone. "I promise shower fun tomorrow, ok?"

"Deal!" Quinn jumped up at was up the stairs before Rachel pulled herself off the floor.

By the time Rachel made it to the kitchen, she could hear the shower running upstairs.

After searching through the fridge, she decided on veggie burgers and fruit.

As she was starting the burgers, Quinn had made her way back to the kitchen dressed in shorts and a tank top, Rachel gulped when she noticed there was no bra involved.

"Your turn Rach."

"Oh ok. I picked veggie burgers and just some fruit. I really haven't a clue what to have tonight so forgive me if it's not up to pare."

"Actually, it sounds great to me. Specially after what we ate for lunch. I'll finish here and you go shower."

When Rachel finished her shower and walked downstairs, dressed in the same manner as Quinn, the food was already done and set on plates in front of the bar stools.

When dinner was finished and cleaned up, they stopped in the living room to pick a movie since they had decided to lay in bed to watch it.

Quinn picked up the discarded Texas Chain Saw Massacre movie from Friday night and wiggled her brows at Rachel, who paled just slightly.

"Alright Quinn, but you're holding me."

"Yea, not really going to complain about that one Rach."

The girls both preformed their nightly routines before climbing into bed.

After about a half hour into the movie, both girls were already fast asleep in each others arms.

Neither moved until Rachel's alarm went off at 6am.


	24. Rachel Breaks, Again

_Neither moved until Rachel's alarm went off at 6am._

_

* * *

_

_Rachel Breaks, Again_

Quinn groaned at the noise "5 more minutes, please."

Rachel giggled and placed a kiss to Quinn's head. "I'm going to work out. I'll wake you up in a while so that you have enough time to get ready."

"K. Than…" Was all Rachel heard before Quinn was sound asleep again.

Rachel made it through her usual 45 minutes on the elliptical before heading downstairs to make two protein shakes for them.

She placed one on the nightstand next to Quinn and gently shook her awake.

"Quinn. Wake up sweetie. I made you a shake. It's time to get ready for school. We only have to live through three days then we're off for another four for Thanksgiving. I'm going to jump in the shower real quick."

As soon as Quinn heard the word "shower" she was awake. "Do I get to join you?"

"Unfortunately, that's probably not a good idea this morning. My period started at some point last night so no shower fun for a few days. Sorry."

Quinn pouted so Rachel placed a lingering kiss on her lips before prancing off towards the bathroom.

By the time Rachel had finished her shower, Quinn was dressed in her Cheerios uniform with her hair in a tight ponytail as she sat against the headboard with a book sipping her shake.

"Bathroom's all your when you need it."

Quinn looked up to see Rachel clad only in a pair of light blue underwear with a towel wrapped around her head. She nearly choked at the sight.

She watched as Rachel wondered to her closet and pulled on a bra, jeans, and a yellow long sleeved blouse.

After another 15 minutes, both girls had finished their morning routines and were out the door to school. Quinn had insisted on driving since she had a spot close to the school thanks to being on the Cheerios.

As they walked towards the doors, Quinn took Rachel's hand in her own."You know Quinn, we don't have to tell anyone about us. I understand if you don't want to."

Quinn placed a kiss on Rachel's lips. "No, I refuse to hide us. I don't care what they think. All that matters is what we think."

After stopping by Quinn's locker, they made their way to Rachel's. That's when the found Santana.

"Seriously Q? What the fuck is with you and treasure trail?"

"Santana."

"No Q. Tell me right now."

"Rachel is my girlfriend. Also, I'm currently staying at her house for a few days."

"Ok Q, I get the whole not wanting to deal with guys after last year. But why in the hell would you choose That to fuck."

Quinn saw red. "Shut the fuck up Santana. You will leave Rachel alone. Understand me? She has done nothing to you. Now back the fuck off." Quinn sealed her speech with a punch to Santana's face before taking Rachel's hand and leading them to first period.

"Quinn, you really didn't have to do that. I'm used to Santana's comments. It's no big deal."

"No. I really did need to do that. She needed to be put in place. You should never have gotten used to her comments. I'm not putting up with it anymore, and you shouldn't either. Things are going to change."

Lunch rolled around with no further problems from the morning.

Quinn had been summoned to Coach Sylvester's office, leaving Rachel on her own to make it to her locker. Quinn wanted to bring Rachel with her, but Rachel insisted that she would be fine for a few minuets and that she would be waiting for her.

Rachel didn't know how wrong she was.

As she was leaned against her locker waiting, Karofsky, deciding to ignore Quinn's threat from the week before. Found Rachel and slammed her into the locker.

"What's wrong slut? Your little dike of a girlfriend not around to protect you? Not so tough now are you? Do I need to show you what a real man feels like and not some stupid slut?"

Karofsky pressed into Rachel, causing his belt buckle to catch the uncovered cuts hidden under Rachel's shirt.

Rachel gasped at the pain and reached to grab her stomach.

"Let me go Karofsky. Please, let me go."

"Isn't it a little soon for you to be begging me?" He pressed harder into Rachel.

Rachel has gasped in pain again just as Santana rounded the corner and saw what was going on.

Normally she really won't care and would let him continue, but the look of sheer terror and pain on Rachel's face made her step in.

Karofsky was slammed into the lockers behind him and Santana landed a punch to his nose and a foot to his groin before he knew what had happened.

"Leave her the fuck alone Karofsky!" Santana sneered at him.

She turned to she Rachel shaking against the lockers clutching her stomach. She gently placed a hand on Rachel's should and pulled her towards the nearest bathroom.

Once inside, Rachel moved her hand just enough to see that she was bleeding. Santana noticed too.

"Rachel, what happened?"

"Nothing."

"Bullshit Berry. Why are you bleeding then?"

"Just get Quinn. Please Santana. Get Quinn."

Santana had never heard Rachel sound so broken before. She ran out of the bathroom towards Sylvester's office.

It was only a matter on minutes before Santana and Quinn burst into the bathroom.

Rachel hadn't moved. She was standing still, crying as she clutched her stomach tight.

"Rachel, what happened?"

"…"

Quinn pulled Rachel's hands away and gasped as she saw the blood on her shirt.

"Santana, what the fuck happened?"

Santana quickly told her what she had found Karofsky doing.

"I need you to go to Rachel's locker and get her slushy bag."

"But.."

"No. Right now Santana!"

Santana did as she was told and returned a minute later holding the bag.

"Thanks, you can leave now."

"No, I want to know what the hell is going on."

Rachel chose this moment to speak up. "Please, Santana. Please leave." Came out just above a whisper.

"Please go S. Go beat the shit out of Karofsky. Just don't get caught."

Santana nodded and left, realizing that whatever was going on was serious.

As soon as the door shut, Quinn went over and locked it to prevent anyone from finding them.

She gently pulled Rachel's shirt over her head, cleaned up her stomach, put a fresh dressing across the now re-opened cuts, and slipped a clean shirt on her.

Rachel didn't move once during the process.

Quinn wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and pulled her close. She was shocked when the tiny girl stayed tensed up and refused to relax into her.

"Rach, it's ok. I'm here. Relax"

Rachel stayed tense, refusing to move.

"Ok Rach, lets go home for a little while. I have to be back for a surprise optional mandatory practice, but we can leave until then."

Quinn reluctantly pulled away and tugged Rachel outside and towards her car.

When the girls arrived home, Rachel went straight to her bedroom and collapsed on the bed. Quinn had followed close behind, and laid down beside her now broken girlfriend. She watched as Rachel's breathing went from heavy to slow, and assumed that she had fallen asleep, when in reality Rachel was only faking to get Quinn to leave her alone.

The girls laid there for a few hours before Quinn sighed and got up to head back to school. She knew that Coach Sylvester would kill her if she missed practice. She gently placed a hand on Rachel before whispering "I'll be home in a little while. Please, stay safe Rachel. Please."

Rachel kept the same position in bed until she heard the doorbell ring a while later.


	25. Shelby Returns

_Shelby Returns _

Rachel had decided that she was going to simply ignore the bell and hope that whoever it was would just go away.

Unfortunately, that didn't happen. So after another two rings and one incessant round of pounding, she finally got up, planning on telling whoever was at the door to go the hell away.

As she wrenched the door open in furry and was about to yell, she froze when she saw an older looking version of herself looking back at her.

"What do you want, Shelby? Come to make my life even more miserable?"

Shelby winced at the harsh tone in her daughter's voice. "Can we please talk Rachel?"

"No. I really don't want to talk to you ever again actually" She started to shut the door, but Shelby reached out and pushed it open, walking inside and shutting the door behind her. She took Rachel's arm and lead her to the living room.

"Let go of me!" Rachel screeched.

"Fine. But we are going to talk. Or I'm going to talk and you're going to listen. Either one works for me."

Rachel stood unmoving, glaring at Shelby.

"I'm sorry, Rachel." Rachel scoffed "No, I am. It wasn't fair of me to do what I did to you. Now that I'm a mom I get it. I.."

Rachel lost it. "Now that you're a mom? Now? You've been a mom for 16 years but you refused to accept that. You barged your way back into my life, making me think that I actually had a chance with you. But no. You threw me away like yesterdays garbage for the second time."

"Rachel…" Shelby had tears in her eyes.

"No. You don't get to cry over this. This is all your fault. My life has turned out like shit because of you. Take a look around Shelby. Do you see my dads anywhere? No. See any of my many friends in the house? Oh wait, I don't have any friends. The only person I have in my life is my girlfriend. Oh yes Shelby, your mistake of a daughter is bisexual as well. Surprise! And so you know, my girlfriend is the one who gave you your perfect daughter that you've always wanted. Never mind that your own flesh and blood was standing here, begging you for just one chance. Hell, I was even willing to accept us just starting out as friends. I needed you, Shelby. I've needed you constantly. How about when I hit puberty. Any idea how that conversation went? Or how I locked myself in the bathroom crying for two hours because I wished that my mom was there instead? Oh, I got one. How about when Finn slept with the school slut and lied to me for months about it? Or how about the fact that I've basically been raising myself since I was 12. Maybe when I needed someone when I came home crying on a daily basis from the slushy facials or the names or the teasing I've endured every single day of high school. The same shit that I get every day still even though I'm dating the school Queen Bee. How about when I got pinned up against the lockers today by one of the school bullies, telling me, and I quote, "Do I need to show you what a real man feels like and not some stupid slut?" What about all of that Shelby? Do you even give a shit about me, or do you just want to make yourself feel less guilty?"

"Rachel. I'm sorry. I came to talk to you about something I noticed yesterday. Are.."

"Yesterday? What, are you stalking me now?"

"No, I saw you with Quinn at the mall yesterday. Rachel, are you hurting yourself? I think I saw cuts on you arms and…"

"Get the fuck out Shelby."

"But.."

"No. You have no right to come into my house and accuse me of such. I want you gone. Right now. I never want to see or speak to you again."

"Rachel.."

Neither of them had noticed that Quinn had walked in the door and heard every word of their conversation.

"I think you need to leave now Shelby."

"Quinn, what are you doing here?"

"I've been living here for a few days since Rachel's dads are away, yet again, so she wouldn't have to be alone. Now I believe you heard her when she told you to leave. Can't you see that all you're causing her is pain? Leave her alone."

"And just why are you getting a second chance with her?"

Rachel spoke up "Because Quinn has proved that she deserves a second chance. She's only been around for about a week, but she's the only person that's actually shown that they even care about me. Get out of our house." With that, Rachel turned and stomped up the staircase. The sounds of a door slamming upstairs was heard throughout the house.

Quinn glared at Shelby. "What part of leave her the fuck alone don't you get? Can you not see how much she's hurting right now? All she wanted from you was someone that cared about her, but you were too concerned about yourself and that Rachel wasn't the baby you were expecting after 16 years. Grow up Shelby. Oh, and if you ever do anything like this to Beth, I WILL, be your worse nightmare. You can take my word on that one."

Shelby watched as Quinn followed Rachel's path up the stairs. She wiped her eyes and quickly walked out of the house, vowing to herself that she was not giving up that easily.

When Quinn made it to Rachel's door, she gently pushed it open and looked in. Rachel was nowhere in sight. That's when she noticed that bathroom door was closed. "Shit" she said to herself before running to the door and trying the handle.

Locked.

"Damn it. Rachel? Please open the door. Please let me in."

She heard nothing from the other side of the door.

"Ok Rach, if you're not going to talk to me, then at least please unlock the door. I won't come in, but please unlock the door."

She breathed a sigh of relief as she heard the lock click.

"Thank you." she sank to the floor, resting her head against the door, waiting.

On the other side, Rachel sat with her back against the door, pants around her ankles. She had made another 20 cuts, this time in her left thigh. She didn't move. She simply watched as the blood flowed out onto her leg and ran off onto the towel she had placed underneath her thigh before she started.

The girls sat in silence for another 20 minutes before Rachel decided to clean herself up. She reached up to the sink and ran a washcloth under cold water, brining it down to press against her mutilated leg. She hissed at the pain.

Quinn breathed a sigh of relief when she heard movement on the other side of the door.

Rachel continued to clean off her leg, before looking at it. Some of the cuts were just scratches, while others could rival the ones she added to her stomach two days before. She bandaged her leg before shakily standing up, pulling her sweat pants back up, and laying the blood soaked towel across the hamper, along with the washcloth. She didn't even bother looking into the mirror before she opened the bathroom door and stepped out.

Quinn was standing in wait for her to exit the bathroom.

Rachel didn't even glance at Quinn, but instead headed straight back to the bed, turning her back towards her.

Quinn didn't miss the way Rachel limped across the room. She walked slowly over to her now sobbing girlfriend, and laid down beside her in the bed. She slipped her arm around the girl's tiny waste. Rachel was still having no part of her. She immediately pulled away and began to cry harder.

Quinn felt the tears began to prickle in her eyes. She got up and made her way back downstairs to the living room where she laid on the couch.

Quinn finally let go. She sobbed as her body shook violently. As she cried, she prayed. She prayed that Beth would be ok and that she would never have to be on either end of something like this. She prayed for Rachel. Praying that she would make it. That she would be strong enough to fight this. But mostly she prayed for herself. She prayed for the strength to be able to help Rachel. She prayed that she was doing the right thing for her. She prayed that she did the right thing for Beth by giving her to Shelby. She prayed that her mom would accept her when she told her that she was gay and was dating Rachel. She prayed that she wouldn't fall apart and buckle under the weight of everything that she was carrying on her shoulders.

**A/N: Ok. You probably all don't like me at the moment, but I have my reasons for what I did. I wanted Karofsky to do something to Rachel the day Shelby was going to make an appearance. I also knew that I wanted Santana to be the one to save her. I haven't decided on where I'm going with Santana yet. I have a couple different ideas, but nothing is set in stone. I wanted Rachel to have at Shelby and for Shelby to have to figure out a way back into Rachel's life. I don't want it to be too easy. **

**I also wanted to start to show how much all of this is effecting Quinn. I feel like there isn't enough point of view from her side of this and her feelings. **

**And finally. Since everyone seems to want more smut and I don't want to rush this story in that direction, as much as I would like to, I'm thinking of writing a bunch of one-shots on the side and also taking requests. Opinions? **


	26. The Suprise

_The Surprise _

Quinn awoke a little after 10 that night and realized she must have cried herself to sleep.

If she was to be honest with herself, she was exhausted. She had no idea what to do to help Rachel. She felt guilty for giving Beth to Shelby now, knowing that she probably ruined whatever chance Rachel had with her mom. She questions if she's really doing the right thing, keeping Rachel's secret to herself.

Quinn's starting to question her relationship, if you can even call it that, with her mother. They hardly see each other, and they talk even less now. She avoids being home as much as she can, and she knows her mom does the same. She slightly hopes that when she comes out to her mom, that she will be kicked out again. But, now that she thinks about it, where would she go this time? Maybe she could stay with Rachel since both of them are normally without their respective parents anyway. Nope, wait, Rachel currently isn't speaking to her and is pulling away from her touch. "What did I do?" Quinn questions herself.

She sighs to herself, deciding it's too late and she's too tired to be thinking about this right now. She starts to make her way out of the living room when she noticed the light flashing on the answering machine. She knows that she probably shouldn't, but decides to anyway, just incase it was one of Rachel's dads. The pushed the button and a deep voice fills the room "Hey Ray, it's daddy. We managed to get a flight out and we'll be home Wednesday while you're at school. So we can all spend Thanksgiving together on Thursday. Unfortunately, we have to leave again on Saturday for another trip to Florida. We can talk more on Wednesday when we get home. Bye." Quinn couldn't believe what she heard. She knew Rachel's dads had been away for about two weeks, and now there were going to be home for no more then four days before they left again. She starts to understand why Rachel feels so lonely all of the time.

Quinn continued to make her way up to Rachel's room. She was able to make out the shape of the tiny body curled into a ball on the bed. A sad smile formed on her list and she dreaded having to tell her the news about her dads in the morning. She found a pair of pjs and slipped them on before crawling into the bed. Rachel's back was to Quinn, and she couldn't stop herself from reaching out to touch her. When she didn't move away, Quinn was relieved. Cautiously, she became the big spoon around Rachel, who shifted closer to the blonde in her sleep. Quinn placed a quick kiss to the dark hair covered head and drifted off to sleep.

When the alarm rang out at 6am sharp, Rachel jumped out of the bed and away from Quinn, breathing heavily.

"Rachel, what's wrong?"

"I… Uhmm.. Nothing. I'm fine. The alarm just scared me is all." Rachel quickly stuck her ear buds in and jumped on the tread mill.

Knowing that she had a while, Quinn decided to claim the shower first. When she walked into the bathroom, the first thing she noticed was the dried blood on the washcloth and towel hanging on the hamper. A tear slipped out. She quickly wiped it away and took a deep breath. She got into the shower and let the hot water run over her sore and tired body.

She finished and dried off in the bathroom before walking back into the room where Rachel was just shutting off her elliptical.

"Cutting it short this morning?" Quinn decided to try and get Rachel talking.

"Yes. I find myself a but tired this morning. I would rather not push to hard this morning." She replied before heading straight into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

"Great. It's going to be a long day." Quinn told herself

Unfortunately for Quinn, it was a long two days. Rachel still wouldn't let Quinn touch her, and she flinched and pulled away anytime Quinn tried. But, she was pretty sure Rachel didn't want to be touched after what happened with Karofsky on Monday, not that she could blame her though. Quinn tried to not let it show that it was bothering her, but inside it was killing her.

Rachel wasn't speaking much either. She would answer when spoken to, but refused to start up conversations. Quinn started to realize that a quiet Rachel, was a scary Rachel.

At lunch on Wednesday, Quinn decided to try another conversation with Rachel.

"Hey Rach, since your dads are getting home today, I'm just going to drop you, grab my stuff, and leave. I want you to have some time alone with them before they have to leave again."

"No, you don't have to rush out. They will probably want to meet you anyway since you've been staying with me."

"Ok. I'll stay for a bit, but then I'm going to head home. I don't even know if my mom is back yet, but I should probably at least be there for a few nights. I can come back when your dads leave again, if you want."

"How about we figure it out then? I want you to spend some time at your house as well."

"Ok Rachel."

The girls smiled at each other and Quinn slightly nudged Rachel in the side. Rachel flinched, but didn't pull away this time. Quinn's smile grew just a bit larger.

When they made it to Rachel's after school, they found her dads sound asleep in bed. They just shrugged at each other before going to Rachel's room to grab Quinn's things and headed to Quinn's car.

"Hey Rach? Please keep yourself safe while I'm not here. If you need anything at all, don't hesitate to call me. I don't care what time it is. I don't want you to feel alone."

"I can't promise that I will call, but I will keep you in mind. Ok?"

"Ok. I'll take what I can get. Listen, I know that you're still a little jumpy about being touched since Monday, but can I hug you?"

Rachel bit her lip nervously before nodding her head. Quinn gently wrapped her arms around the tiny girl. She didn't hold on long since she could feel Rachel's tenseness.

"Take care, sweetie." Quinn told her before getting into her car and driving away.

Quinn arrived home to another note from her mother "Quinn, I will be home on Thursday. We can have Thanksgiving as a family. Mom" Quinn shrugged her shoulders and headed straight for her room. She didn't even bother to unpack before she crawled into her bed and was soon fast asleep.

When she awoke the next morning, she headed to the kitchen and saw someone she wasn't expecting.

"Dad? What are you doing here?"

**A/N: Ok, I had major writer's block on this one for some reason. I already have the next chapter planned out, so I should have it up tomorrow, I think. **

**Also, I think that I am going to write smut on the side and have one-shots in a separate story. I'm going to take requests for what people want to see. It doesn't have to be Faberry, but it must be Rachel, Quinn, Santana, or Brittany in any combination. So let me know ideas for the first one-shot!**


	27. Kicked Out

"_Dad? What are you doing here?"_

_

* * *

_

_Kicked Out_

Quinn took in the sight in front of her. Russell had a half empty glass of scotch in his hand. There was also a glass of probably vodka sitting in front of an empty chair. "Great, they're both drinking and it's only 9am. This can't be good." She told herself

"Hello Quinn. Well, seeing as this is my house too, I have every reason to be here."

"But you and mom got a divorce, this isn't your house anymore."

"Actually you're wrong. The divorce was never finalized. We stopped the preceding. Your mother and I are back together."

Just then Judy wondered back into the kitchen.

"Mom! Why did you let him back in? He cheated on you and you're just going to forgive him and take him back?"

"Now Quinny, it's the Christian thing to do to forgive."

"So you're just going to turn the other cheek because "it's the right thing to do?""

"Yes, I am. And you need to forgive him too."

"I will do no such thing! He kicked me out when I got pregnant. He left me with no where to go!"

Russell spoke up "Yes, but I forgave you for that after you got rid of that bastard baby. I've allowed you back in my house."

Quinn knew she shouldn't, but she could stop herself as she yelled "Don't you ever talk about Beth that way. She is not a bastard baby. I only gave her away because she deserved to have a hell of a lot more then I could give her. Plus, I wanted you to have nothing to do with her!"

Russell was up and to Quinn faster then she could blink. A loud slap echoed through the house.

Quinn forced herself to hold back the tears starting to form. She figured she may as well get it all out in the open now. "Oh, I also guess I should tell you that I'm gay, and that I'm currently dating Rachel Berry. I've been staying with her since Friday night while her parents were out of town."

She watch as Russell's eyes narrowed and another stinging slap was placed across her face.

"Not only did you disgrace this family by getting pregnant at 16, but now you tell me you're a dike too? I want you to get the fuck out of this house. You know the drill, you have 30 minutes. After that I never want to see you again. You are no longer part of this family. You will never be allowed back into this house."

Quinn looked at her mother who just shrugged at her.

Still holding back the tears, she ran to her bedroom and began to pack as much of her belongings into her suitcases.

30 minutes later, she heard to timer on the microwave beep, followed by a yell "Time's up. Get the fuck out!" Russell yellowed up the stairs.

She had managed to pack most of her clothes, along with some of her personal things that she wanted to take with her. Including her laptop, a few pictures, and a stuffed lamb from her bed.

As quickly as she could, she took the many suitcases out to her car.

When she finished, she sat in her car staring at the house that she had now been kicked out of for a second time. She let a few tears escape her eyes before pulling out of the driveway, heading towards the only place she could go.

_Meanwhile at the Berry Residence_

Rachel and her dads, Hiram and Leroy, were in the kitchen preparing food for their Thanksgiving dinner. They were dancing and singing around the kitchen, acting almost as if they were a family and not falling apart at the seams.

The ringing of the doorbell brought them out of their world and Rachel quickly made her way to the front door wondering who could be at their doorstep on Thanksgiving.

When she pulled the door open, she was surprised to find Quinn standing there. However, she felt her heart slowly break as she took in her girlfriend's appearance. She was wearing the same clothing from the day before, her face was buried in her hands, and her shoulders were shaking. She immediately knew that Quinn was crying. Ignoring her gut feeling of not wanting to touch anyone, she quickly reached out and pulled Quinn inside, wrapping her arms around the girls shaking body.

Quinn pushed her face into Rachel's neck and wrapped her arms around the tiny diva's shoulders and sobbed.

Neither girl moved and Rachel began to rub small circles on Quinn's back whispering calmly into her ear "It's ok Quinn. I've got you. You're not alone. I'm right here" Until Quinn finally calmed down and was just whimpering.

Rachel pulled away just slightly so she could look at Quinn. She held back the gasp that formed what she saw two clean handprints across Quinn's cheek.

"Quinn, what's going on? What happened?"

"My mom let my dad back in. He called Beth a bastard and I told them I was gay and dating you. He slapped me twice and kicked me out again. I'm sorry Rach, I didn't know where to go. I'm sorry. I can leave if you want me too."

"No Quinn, you're not going anywhere. You're staying here."

"Rachel, what's going on?" Hiram said walking into the foyer, finding his daughter and a tall blonde in each others arms. He could tell the blonde girl whom he didn't know, had been crying. He could also see the hand prints on her face.

"Quinn, why don't you go up to the bathroom and wash your face, I'll be up in a few minutes."

Quinn nodded and reluctantly pulled away and walked up the stairs.

"You, dad, and I need to talk. Right now."


	28. Quinn's Confession

_Quinn's Confession_

"Rachel, what's going on?" Hiram asked as they entered the kitchen.

"Wait, what am I missing?" Leroy piped in.

"Ok. Let me fill you both in. That was Quinn Fabray."

"Quinn Fabray, as in the girl that you asked to have stay while we were gone?" Leroy butted in again.

"Yes. Listen, while she was staying here, Quinn and I realized that we had feelings for each other. Quinn is now my girlfriend."

"So you've decided on your sexuality now?"

"Kind of, I think. I know I like Quinn, but I'm not sure if I strictly like girls, I believe that I am still bi, as I told you before. Anyway, long story short, Quinn's dad cheated on her mom and she kicked him out last year. Now, he is back in the house and Quinn told her parents about us and he slapped her, twice, and kicked her out. Would it be ok if she stays with us? I don't think she has anywhere else to go. Please."

The men shared a look that Rachel couldn't read.

Leroy turned to Rachel, "Ok Rachel. But we will need to all have a discussion about this before we go any farther. Go calm Quinn down, then bring her down so that we can meet her properly."

Rachel squealed "Thank you dad! Thank you daddy! This means so much to me. I'll go get Quinn and we'll be down in a few." Rachel bolted up the stairs.

She entered her bedroom, expecting to see Quinn in the bathroom, but instead she found her sitting on the floor against the foot of the bed. She made her way to Quinn, who didn't look away from the place on the wall she was staring at, and sat down next to her. She gently placed her arm around Quinn's shoulders and gently pulled her into herself. Quinn's face immediately went into Rachel's neck where she let out a few deep breaths.

"I understand if your dads don't want me here. I can find somewhere else to go."

"Stop Quinn. They said that it's ok for you to live here, but they do want to talk to us at some point today."

"Oh, ok. But if they do change their minds-"

"Quinn, I said stop. They won't change their minds. It'll work out." She felt Quinn nod against her and she continued

"I want to apologize to you, Quinn. I'm sorry I've been pulling away from you and not really speaking either. It's just, after the thing with Karofsky on Monday, I've just been a little jumpy when it comes to being touched. My heart starts to speed up and I get short of breath. It feels like I'm going to have a panic attack."

"It's ok Rach, I understand. But since you're sitting here with you arm around me, and you initiated the hug downstairs, it seems like you're getting comfortable around me again."

"I was never really uncomfortable around you. I know that you would never do something like that to me. I'm just not used to being touched unless it's being shoved around, so this is still kind of new to me is all. I have to ask, why did you tell your parents about us? I didn't expect you to and I wouldn't have minded if you waited. I told my dads about us just now so that they knew. Well, just that you're my girlfriend now."

Quinn took a deep breath and pulled her head up, but stayed leaning on Rachel. "I figured that I may as well just get it out. I was planning on telling my mom anyway, but since he was there and talking about Beth and forgiveness, I just couldn't stop myself from saying it. I was so angry at him for what he said about Beth and at my mom for taking him back in. After the secrets and lies last year, I didn't want my life to be back to that. I don't want to lie or keep secrets or hide myself anymore. It's not who I am and I'm tired of acting that way. I figured that if they didn't accept me for it, then it wasn't worth it. I know they are my parents and everything, but I don't want to live where I'm not accepted. All my life I was taught that I had to always have this perfect image and uphold the Fabray name, but I can't do it anymore. It's all too much for me. I hate who I've become. I hate who they've turned me into. I want to change, Rachel. Please, help me." Quinn broke down into tears at this point, and Rachel pulled her closer into her body and gently rocked the two of them.

"I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of this Quinn. It's not fair to you to have to deal with all of this, especially alone. I will help you. I promise I will be here for you. We can be there for each other."

Quinn nodded again and barely was able to whisper "Thank you, Rachel. Thank you so much. Sing to me?"

"Of course Quinn." Rachel placed a kiss to the top of Quinn's head and her voice started to softly fill the room.

_Life ain't always beautiful  
__Sometimes it's just plain hard  
Life can knock you down  
It can break your heart_

_Life ain't always beautiful  
You think, you're on your way  
And it's just a dead end road  
At the end of the day_

_But the struggles make you stronger  
And the changes make you wise  
And happiness has its own way  
Of takin' its sweet time_

_No, life ain't always beautiful  
Tears will fall sometimes  
Life ain't always beautiful  
But it's a beautiful ride_

_Life ain't always beautiful  
Some days I miss your smile  
I get tired of walkin'  
All these lonely miles  
And I wish for just one minute  
I could see your pretty face  
Guess, I can dream  
But life don't work that way_

_But the struggles make me stronger  
And the changes make me wise  
And happiness has its own way  
Of takin' its sweet time_

_No, life ain't always beautiful  
But I know, I'll be fine  
Hey, life ain't always beautiful  
But it's a beautiful ride_

_What a beautiful ride_

When Rachel finished, Quinn had quieted down and was taking slow, deep breaths.

"Listen Quinn, why don't you go take a bath, then we can go downstairs and talk with my dads. It'll give you a little bit of time to relax first."

"Ok."

Rachel stood and gently pulled a still slightly stoic Quinn up after her and led her to the bathroom. She turned on the water and added a little bit of lavender into the warm swirling water. Quinn was standing behind her with her head hanging down and shoulders limp.

"I'm going to help you, ok Quinn?"

Even though she got no response, she began to gently help the blonde out of her clothes, tossing them into the laundry hamper in the process. When Quinn was fully undressed, Rachel helped her into the now filled bathtub.

Quinn immediately felt her body begin to relax as the warm water engulfed her body. The smell of lavender only helped to further relax her.

"I'll be back to check on you in a little bit sweetheart." Rachel leaned over the tub and placed a kiss to Quinn's forehead before shutting the door slightly and making her way back downstairs.

**Song is Life Ain't Always Beautiful by Gary Allan**


	29. The Family Talk

_The Family Talk_

Rachel made her way back to the kitchen to her fathers. "Quinn is taking a bath. She had another small breakdown so I wanted her to relax a little bit before she came down. Can you guys help me bring her bags in from her car? I don't want her to have to worry about getting them later."

"Of course Ray." Hiram told her.

The three of them made their way to Quinn's car and were able to gather everything in just one trip. They decided to put the bags in the guest room for the moment, figuring they would deal with them when it came time.

"Thank you. I'm going to bring Quinn some clothes and check on her. We'll be down in a little bit." Rachel smiled at he dads as they nodded and walked out of the room.

Rachel opened the first suitcase she saw, and was thankful that it contained Quinn's sweat pants and some t-shirts. She pulled out a pair of the sweats and a shirt before opening another bag to search for underclothes.

When she made it back to her room, she gently knocked on the bathroom door before entering. Quinn was in the exact position she was in when Rachel left her. She set the clothes on the bathroom sink and pulled out a fresh towel, setting it on the towel rack. She retrieved a cup from under the sink and used it to wet Quinn's hair. She gently washed and conditioned the blonde hair, rubbing Quinn's head gently in the process. When she was satisfied, she grabbed the bath puff, added a little body wash to it, and gently worked it over Quinn's body, lingering a little while longer on her back. She used the cup to rinse Quinn clean before pulling out the stopper of the tub. She placed her arms around Quinn and gently pulled her to stand, wrapping the towel around her before helping her out. Rachel gently pushed Quinn to sit down on the toilet lid, and began to dry her off. When she finished, she applied body lotion on to every area of Quinn's skinny frame.

"You're still really tense Quinn. I'm really good at massages, so later on today I'm going to give you one. It'll help you feel better."

Quinn was now starting to come to, and helped to put her clothes on.

"My dads and I brought your things in while you were in the bath. Everything is in the guest room for right now."

Rachel picked her brush off the side of the sink and ran it through Quinn's soft hair, adding a little bit of leave in condition to it.

"Thank you Rachel. I really don't know what I would do without you. I don't even know where I would go."

"Don't thank me Quinn. You did this for me when I couldn't. We're supposed to help each other, remember?"

"Yea, I do. Hey Rach, I want to tell your dads about our past. I want them to know about the things I've done to you."

"You don't have to. As I told you, I've never told them anything about you past."

"I know. But like I said, I don't want to keep secrets any longer. I need to tell them, for myself at least. They deserve to know the truth."

"Ok Quinn. If you feel like you need to, I'm not going to stop you."

"Also, Rach, maybe you should tell them about the cutting, and the Karofsky incident too."

Rachel sighed "I don't think I'm ready to just yet Quinn. Can we please keep it between us a little while longer maybe?"

"Ok. But don't wait too long."

"No promises. And as for Karofsky, I won't tell them because of Santana."

"What do you mean?"

"If I go to Figgins about it, Karofsky will tell about Santana punching and kicking him. I don't want her to be in any trouble for it. If something happens again, then I will. But right now, I won't do it."

"Alright. But one more thing from him, we're going to Figgins. Now lets go downstairs and get this talk over with."

"As you wish." Rachel took Quinn's hand as the girls walk downstairs and into the kitchen.

As Rachel opened her mouth, she was immediately cut off by Quinn. "Let me" she whispered. "Hi Mr. and Mr. Berry. I'm Quinn Fabray. I'm the one who has been staying here with your daughter while you were away. I want to thank you for that. I'm aware that you don't know anything about me, so I thank you for trusting me to stay here with her." Quinn flashed a full meaningful smile at the men.

"Hello Quinn, I'm Hiram and this is my husband Leroy." He gestured to the short white man standing next to him. "Please call me Hiram."

"And I'm Leroy. Mr. Berry makes me feel old. Why don't we have a seat and talk."

They moved to the table, Quinn and Rachel sitting on one side, the Berry men on the other.

Quinn spoke first. "I know that you said that I could stay here, but there are some things that I need to tell you before you're sure about letting me live here. I want everything to be in the open. I don't want to lie and hide things. I'm sorry for what I'm about to tell you. Rachel and I haven't had the best history. I've basically tortured Rachel daily since we started high school. I ordered her to be slushied, drew pornographic pictures of her on the bathroom walls, called her names like man-hands, treasure trail, Ru-Paul, I've tripped her, shoved her into lockers, made fun of her clothing choices, talked behind her back, and about anything else you can think of, I've done to her. I've apologized to her for all of this and she has forgiven me and has allowed me another chance. A chance that I have no intention on messing up this time."

Hiram spoke first "Why are you telling us this? Rachel never mentioned anything to us."

Rachel looked at her lap and Quinn took her hand before continuing. "I'm telling you because as I said, I want to be honest. I don't want to lie to the two of you about our past. It's not right of me to do. I just hope that maybe you can forgive me too. So that we can start new."

The men shared a look before Leroy spoke this time. "Ok Quinn. Rachel is a good judge of character, so if she is forgiving you, then we are going to as well. Now Rachel, why didn't you tell us about this?"

"Because I didn't want to worry you guys. I was fine really. I just used it as more acting practice honestly." She shrugged at them.

"I have one more thing I need to add. Last year, I got pregnant by my then boyfriend's best friend. My parents kicked me out for the first time when they found out I was pregnant. I gave the baby up for adoption. More specifically, I gave her to Shelby Corcoran."

Both men looked at her.

"I know. I know who she is. But I was doing what I felt was right for my daughter. I don't regret giving her to Shelby because I know she will take care of her. I'm just sorry that I hurt Rachel in the process. Throughout everything last year, Rachel was the one person who always stood by me and offered her friendship. I regret now not taking her up on the offer."

"Thank you for telling us this Quinn. However, it does not change our offer to let you stay here. You will be part of this family now." Leroy told her.

Rachel and Quinn smiled at each other.

"Are you sure about this Leroy?" Quinn still seemed slightly unsure.

"Yes." Hiram added this time. "Plus, we think it would be good for Rachel to have someone around seeing as we're not home much. Now Quinn, do you think there will be a chance of you returning to your parents house?"

"No. My mom let my dad back in after he cheated on her. They kicked me out again when I told them I was gay and was dating Rachel. My dad slapped me twice, but he has hit me all my life. I never want to go back there. Please, don't send me back there." The last sentence came out in a whisper. Rachel squeezed Quinn's hand for reassurance.

"Ok then. This is what we propose. Your car and cell phone will be moved onto our plans. You will receive an allowance just as Rachel does. You will be expected to help with housework as well. You do not have to work as long as you stay in school and keep your grades up. I will talk to another lawyer friend of ours to see about us getting guardianship over you. This will allow you to put you on our health insurance and will help for anything else we need legal wise. This is only if it's ok with you."

"I.. uhmm.. Yes. I don't know what to say. Thank you so much." Quinn had tears in her eyes at the offer.

"We will not ask you to leave from this house. You will be treated as if you are our daughter. However, we will not tolerate you hurting Rachel. If we find out that you are continuing to, then there will be consequences."

"I have no intention on ever hurting her again." Quinn told them.

"Ok then. Moving on. We will redecorate the guest room and it will become your room. We want you both to have your own space. Just for right now there will be an open door policy until everyone gets adjusted to the new arrangements and the relationship between the two of you gets a little further along. We will work on the room tomorrow, but you and Rachel may share a room as you wish. Are we all agreed?"

"Yes" came from both Rachel and Quinn.

"Good. Now, dinner will be ready in a little while, why don't the two of you occupy yourselves until then."

"Thank you again for all of this Hiram and Leroy. I promise I will be on my best behavior and will do anything that you ask of me." Quinn told them sincerely.

Hiram told her "You're very welcome Quinn. Now scoot!"

Quinn looked at Rachel "Re-match on Dance Central?"

"You're on!"

With that, both girls raced downstairs as the two men laughed.

"Do you think we're doing the right thing Leroy?""I hope so. I feel bad. You know what Russell was like growing up. I'm just glad Quinn's not so much like him. Plus, since we are going to be gone for close to a month, I think it'll be good for Ray."

"Yea. I just hope she takes it ok."

The rest of the day passed smoothly. It was filled with dancing, singing, tons of food, and movies. Quinn found herself more relaxed in the Berry's company then she did in her own family. She felt as if she finally belonged somewhere.


	30. Quinn Steps In

_Quinn Steps In_

The girls were pulled from their sleep around 8am by Hiram knocking on the open door of Rachel's room.

"Come on girls, time to get up. We have a lot to do today. The store is going to be insane since it's Black Friday. Better get a move on."

The girls groaned in response and rolled to face each other. Rachel broke the silence.

"I'll shower first so you can lay here a little while longer." She gave Quinn a kiss on the nose and moved to get off the bed. She squeaked in surprise when she felt arms wrap around her and yank her back into the bed.

"Nope. Mine. Just stay a little longer."

"Quinn, I can't do you really want him to come back up here. Trust me, he will if he doesn't hear movement."

Quinn huffed but reluctantly opened her arms "I guess not. Have fun."

"I never have fun without you."

An hour later both girls were showered and ready to begin the day. They headed towards the kitchen to find the Berry men for the days plans.

They were greeted with a smile and a plate of pancakes each.

"Morning girls." Leroy said to them

"Morning dad, daddy."

"Morning Leroy, Hiram."

"So what's the plans for today dad?"

"Well, a lot of that will be up to Quinn." Leroy continued to do the talking.

"Me? Why?"

"Because it's up to you on what you would like done with your room."

"Don't worry about it. It's fine the way it is."

"Nonsense. It's now your space so you get to decide."

"Well, I like the furniture that's already in there. So maybe a coat of paint?"

"Alright. A fresh coat of paint, a new bed set, and whatever else we can find. Now eat up. We're leaving soon. The stores will probably be crowded, but not as bad if we would have gone earlier."

Three hours, two cans of blue paint, a new bed set, new curtains, and some cloud wall decals later, the group had made it back to the house.

"We're going to get started on painting Quinn's room. Hopefully we can have it done by dinner."

"Alright. We'll be up in a few to help you move furniture and with some plastic." Hiram called after the girls who were making their way up the stairs.

A couple of hours later, they had successfully managed to get the room painted, and maybe a little bit of each other as well. They had moved back to Rachel's room to get away from the fumes and let the paint dry when they were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Santana? What are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you too Q, Berry."

"What do you want S?"

"I went by your house to drag your ass out shopping, but Russell said that you know longer live there and that you were no longer a part of the family. Care to explain?"

"Not really."

"Too damn bad for you then. Spill."

"I think I'm just going to go downstairs." Rachel started to get off the bed.

"No. Stay Rach, please?"

"Ok. If you want me too."

"I do. I need you too." Quinn took Rachel's hand and pulled her close. "My parents kicked me out S. I told them that I was gay and dating Rachel. My dad gave me a half hour to pack then told me to get out. My mom just shrugged her shoulders. He slapped me twice and called my a dyke. He said that I was no longer a part of his family and that I was a disgrace. Rachel and her dads took me in. I live here now." Quinn's voice was cracking by the end as hot tears rolled down her cheeks. Rachel pulled Quinn in and wrapped her arms around her as she cried.

They were both surprised when they felt Santana's arms wrap around them. "I'll be here too Q. You have me too."

"Thanks S." Quinn let go of Rachel to hug Santana. "Thank you so much. And thank you for saving Rachel the other day."

"Thank you as well Santana. I know I wasn't very nice to you that day."

"Don't worry about it Berry. I don't blame you for it. It's cool."

The three girls detangled themselves from one another and sat in silence until Quinn broke the tension.

"Rach, I think you should tell Santana."

"What? No Quinn!"

"What the hell Q?"

"Rachel, I know that the two of you don't have the best history-"

"The best history! She tortured me daily!"

"But so did I and you forgave me for it. Please Rachel. I know you don't want to talk to anyone about this, but maybe talking to her will help. It would be good for you to have someone else besides me."

"No!"

"Listen to me. I want you to have more help besides me. That way when you're mad at me or don't want to talk to me, you will have Santana to be there. There's a side of her that you don't know. You really can talk to her, I promise Rachel."

Rachel and Quinn stared at each other while Santana's head went back and forth between the two. "Ok, will one of you tell me what the fuck is going on?"

"Rach?" Quinn asked gently.

"Ok. But you tell her. I can't. Please."

"Ok. Santana, you may as well know the story. Rachel's dads aren't around very much. They are out of town frequently and are only home a few days a month. They just came back Wednesday after being gone for almost two weeks. Rachel… Rachel has been cutting herself. I stayed here a few days after I found out so that she wouldn't be alone and so maybe she wouldn't hurt herself. But, that hasn't been the case."

Rachel was looking anywhere but the two girls when Quinn finished.

"Berry, look at me."

Rachel didn't move. Santana shifted closer to Rachel and tilted her chin up. She could feel the wetness as it dripped down her cheeks and onto her hand. "It's ok. I'm going to help you too. You will have both Q and I now." She look at both of them. " I need to tell you guys something. Rachel, I've been there. I've done it too. I can help you in a way that Q can't. I have the experience first hand."

"What? S? I didn't know-"

"No one knows except you two now. I never told. I was able to get myself to stop cutting, so I'm going to help as well."

"Really?" Rachel quietly asked.

"Really."

Rachel launched herself at Santana.

"Alright Berry. Enough of the touchy shit. I may puke."

The girls laughed.

"Girls! Dinner is ready!" Hiram yelled up the stairs.

"Coming daddy!"

"Alright. I better run. Call me if either of you need anything, ok?"

"Ok. Thanks S."

"Thanks Santana."

"No prob. Oh and Berry, if any of this gets out, I'm kicking your ass." Santana's voice was laced with its usual harsh tone, but the small smile on her face made Rachel relax just a little.

"I won't tell. Promise."

"Good. I'm out."

When dinner was finished, Hiram cleared his throat. "Girls, we have something to tell you. Leroy and I are leaving again tomorrow morning. We'll be gone for about a month. You two will have each other while we are gone. It'll be good that neither of you will be alone. Quinn, we set up a bank account for you since Rachel already has one. There is money in both of your accounts and Rachel has a credit card if you guys need it. You are also now on our car insurance and phone plan. I'm waiting to hear back from a friend about the Guardianship papers, but as soon as we know something, we'll make it happen."

"Thank you so much. You guys really don't have to do this for me. It's more then my own parents did for me. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Quinn. Ray? You ok."

"Fine." Was all she said, the tone of anger was immediately noticed.

"Ray, what's wrong."

"Nothing. Everything is fantastic, just like it always is. I hope you have fun." With that she stomped out of the room.

Quinn looked at the men "Thank you again for everything. I'll go deal with her. Have a good time on your trip." Quinn ran from the room. She knew exactly what Rachel was going to do and this time she was going to stop her.

Quinn made it to Rachel's room and wrapped an arm around the tiny waste just before she made it to the bathroom. Rachel wasn't happy about the interruption.

"Let me go Quinn."

"No."

I said let go of me!" Rachel was fighting to get out of Quinn's strong hold.

"No Rachel. Stop fighting me on this."

"You don't get a say in this Quinn. You're not my mom. You're not my parent. Let. Me. Go."

"No Rachel. I'm not letting you do this. Not tonight. You're not hurting yourself. Just stop fighting me."

Rachel used every bit of strength she could muster to get away, but the blonde was just to strong. "Please Quinn. Please let me do this. Please."

"No Rach." Quinn's voice was soft and soothing, showing no signs of anger or harshness.

"Please." Rachel's voice cracked and she stopped fighting. She felt her knees start to give way and began to slide to the floor.

Quinn picked the tiny diva up and carried her to the bed. She sat Rachel down on her lap so she was straddling her. Rachel pressed her face into Quinn's chest and balled the blonde's shirt up in her fists as she sobbed.

"It's ok Rachel. I've got you. It's ok. I'm not going anywhere."

"Why don't they love me? Why don't they care? No one cares. They don't want me anymore. My own mother didn't even want me. What did I do to deserve this?"

"You've done nothing wrong. This is just the hand you were dealt. I know it's a really crappy one, but you'll get through it."

"I can't. I can't do this anymore Quinn."

"You can and you will. I told you, I'm going to help you sweetie. Santana is going to help you too"

"You guys just get sick of me too, just like everyone else does. Then I'll be alone again. Please, just let me go." She began to squirm in Quinn's arms again.

"Stop. I'm not letting you go. Fight me all you want, but I'm still stronger and bigger then you. Just let me help you."

Rachel ignored Quinn's words and continued to struggle.

"Don't make me call Santana to come over here. I'm pretty sure that after this afternoon, you now are stuck with her as well."

"Let. Go. Of. Me."

"No." Quinn managed to grab her phone off the bed table and quickly sent out a text.

A few streets away, Santana's phone beeped. She flipped it open and saw it was from Quinn "Get over here. Now!" Santana was out the door and to her car in seconds, speeding towards the Berry house.


	31. Santana Takes Control

_Santana Takes Control_

Santana made it to the Berry house in a matter of minutes, blowing off traffic laws as necessary. When she burst into Rachel's room, she found Quinn holding onto Rachel with every bit of strength she had while Rachel squirmed and shifted in her grasp. She shut the door behind her as she took in the sight.

"What the fuck is going on Q?"

"She was going to cut herself. I grabbed her and have been trying to hold her back."

"What set her off?"

"Rachel's dads are leaving tomorrow for a month and she lost it. Will you help me already?"

Santana moved so she could take a closer look at Rachel.

When Rachel flailed again, her eyes caught Santana's. In that moment Santana knew why she was struggling. (What? She could read people. It was her daily job to instill fear in the McKinley student body. She was damn good at reading anyone.)

Rachel wasn't struggling because she wanted to cut, if she was before, which she was sure that was the case, it wasn't any longer. Rachel was terrified. She was trying to get away from Quinn and her tight hold. She was panicking.

"Q, you need to let her go."

"What? No!"

"No, listen to me. You need to let her go."

"Why? So she can hurt herself again? No. I'm not letting her do that."

"Quinn! If you don't fucking let her go right now I will yank her out of your arms! You think you're helping her? Look at her Quinn, you're fucking terrifying her! Let. Her. Go."

Quinn froze and stared in shock at Santana, who's eyes were still focused on Rachel. Her arms loosened up just enough that Rachel was able to get out of the embrace.

"Rachel! No!"

Rachel ignored Quinn and backed herself into the corner of her room and sank to the floor. She pulled her knees into her chest and put her face into her hands. She began to shake and pant for breath.

Quinn moved to get off the bed but was stopped by Santana.

"No. You need to stay there. Actually, you need to leave the room."

"What? I'm not leaving her alone. She's my girlfriend! I care about her!"

"Fine. But your ass stays planted on that bed and you get no say in anything. If you can't do that, I will throw you out. If you think I'm kidding, try me." Santana glared at Quinn who slightly nodded in response.

Both turned back to Rachel who was still in the same position, only now was starting to hyperventilate, her labored breathing was the only sound in the room.

Santana calmly walk over to the shaking diva and sat facing her. She took each of the girl's tiny hands in her own. She placed one against Rachel's chest and the other against her own. She sat still and breathed slowly in and out, waiting for Rachel to calm herself down.

Quinn wasn't happy. "Don't just sit there Santana! Help her! Since you won't let me, do something!"

"Shut up Quinn. I warned you." She spoke calmly back, not wanting to frighten Rachel.

Another minute passed before Quinn spoke again. "Santana!"

"Either stop talking or get out. She needs to learn to do this Quinn."

A few seconds later, Santana could feel Rachel's body begin to loosen up and her breathing start to slow down. "Good job Rachel. Keep doing that. You're doing good."

After another few minutes, Rachel had managed to calm herself down. She finally looked up and met Santana's eyes.

"Thank you Santana."

"No problem."

Rachel sat up and leaned into Santana, who gladly wrapped her arms around the small girl and began to rub circles on her back. "You did good. I'm sorry, but I wanted you learn to calm yourself."

"I understand. Thank you for that." The girls pulled apart.

"Talk Rachel. What happened?"

"I told you, her dads are leaving for a month." Quinn cut in.

Santana growled. "I know that. That's not what I'm talking about."

Rachel let out a sigh. "She's right on that part. I was going to cut but she stopped me. But when she wouldn't let go of me I got scared. I panicked that I couldn't get away. It wasn't Quinn any longer, it was Karofsky holding me again."

Quinn gasped when she heard Rachel's confession. "Rach, I'm so sorry." Quinn shifted to get off the bed again but froze when Rachel flinched.

"Stop Q. I'm really getting sick of telling you. You get no control in this right now."

"Please Quinn, please listen to her." Rachel whispered. It was barely audible to the girls.

"Ok."

"What's really going on Rachel?" Rachel noticed the sincerity in Santana's voice. It was now or never she figured.


	32. The Truth Comes Out

"What's really going on Rachel?" Rachel noticed the sincerity in Santana's voice. It was now or never she figured.

* * *

_The Truth Comes Out_

Rachel took a deep breath before she spoke. "I'm going to tell you guys everything. Quinn, some of this you already know, but I'm going to tell it again for Santana."

The two girls nodded in response to Rachel.

"When I was little, my dads were extremely loving and doted on me constantly. I was always the center of their lives. When I was around 12, they accidentally scheduled separate business trips in the same weekend. They decided that since it was only for two days, they left me home alone. They figured I was old enough and responsible enough to handle it. While they were gone, I was scared to death. I couldn't sleep because every little noise startled me. When they came home and saw that the house was intact and that I was fine, they no longer worried about scheduling issues. Now they are home maybe seven days out of the month, and it's not even seven straight. It's a day or two here and there. When they are home, they try and act like they care, but I can see that they aren't so sure about having me anymore. It's like they regret ever having me. They didn't come running when I stormed out of the kitchen tonight because they never do. If anything happens while they're home, they leave me alone. I guess they figure that I can deal with whatever it is on my own. I heard them talking one night about how they really don't feel guilty about leaving me alone. That they can do as they please without really having to worry about me. They set me up a bank account and gave me a credit card that way I can buy what I need. They pay the bill and add more money no questions asked." Rachel paused to wipe away the few tears that had escaped. She looked at Quinn and nodded. Quinn took the hint and quickly moved to the floor and sat on the other side of her.

"I never really wondered much about my mother before all of this. I mean, sure, I have had been curious, who wouldn't be, but after they started to leave me alone, I really started to wonder. When I figured out that it was Shelby, I was so excited. It was like I would finally have someone who cared about me in my life. I didn't realize how wrong I had been. Shelby didn't want me. She took the time to find me and get me to know who she was, and when I did, she blew me off. I wasn't the baby she handed over, I was 16 years old. She didn't want me any longer. She told me that she wanted a family but basically showed me that I wasn't good enough for her when she adopted Beth. She told me that she was my mother but she would never be my mom. She left me too. When she showed up here a few days ago, she tried to tell me that now that she was a mom she understood. I cut her off. I didn't want to hear another one of her excuses. I wasn't going to let her throw me away for the third time. Shelby replaced me with Beth. She claims that she didn't, but in all honestly, she did. Shelby got what she wanted and yet again I got screwed over."

Rachel took Quinn's hand in her own. She needed the comfort and reassurance it provided.

"You're doing great, Rachel." Santana told her.

She nodded and continued. "At school everyone treats me like shit. The slushies, the shoves into lockers, the names, the sneers, the comments, everything, it's all just to much. I tried so hard to not let it bother me and to just use it as acting practice, but the more it went on the harder it got. I can't take it anymore. It's too hard. I know that I shouldn't let them bother me, but it's easier said then done at this point. Glee was supposed to be my safe place. A place where everything would just be ok. But instead it's my own hell. I was only tolerated for my voice. No one in there likes me. They all hate me actually. I finally stood up for myself and quit. Of course, that was seen as being selfish because I didn't get my way. But that had nothing to do with it. I needed out. I thought that maybe if I quit Glee I could at least be a little bit ok. Again, I was wrong. Glee was supposed to be a team. Everyone was more then happy to be and leave me out of it. I get if someone doesn't like me, but being that mean is uncalled for. I at least tried to make an effort with everyone, but nobody gave a shit about me. It was all about them and bringing me in to save their asses."

"I've had nobody for years. No one to care what happens to me. I was an inconvenience to everyone. I feel like that's all I'll ever be. Like I'm not worth it anymore. I feel useless and unloved."

Rachel kept Quinn's hand clutched in her own and leaned onto Santana. "The cutting started after I accidentally took a good size chunk out of my leg while I was shaving. Watching the blood mix with the water was so soothing and relaxing. I remembered that and used it to my advantage. I found a box of razor blades in the garage and used them. I had finally found release. Something that made me feel better. It was something in my life I finally had control over. I started doing it at school to just be able to get through the day. Shelby saw Quinn and I at the mall one day and noticed the marks on my arms. She came over here to confront me about it. I told her that she had no right and told her to get out. I wasn't going to let her use that as her excuse to talk to me again. I don't want anything to do with her at this point. She's hurt me too badly."

Rachel let out a sigh of relief when she finished.

"Rachel, I have to ask, have you thought about killing yourself?" Santana quietly asked her.

Rachel bit her lip and closed her eyes. After when felt like an hour to Santana and Quinn, she nodded her head. "Yes, a lot of times actually. The first time was when my dads left me alone for the second time."

"Do you still?"

"Yes. Not as often since Quinn, but yes."

Quinn let the tears she had been trying to swallow back fall from her eyes.

Santana did the same as she pulled Rachel in closer to her. "It's ok Rachel. We're going to help you. I promise."

Rachel sobbed into Santana's chest. Santana gently rubbed her hand on Rachel's back as Quinn kissed the back of her hand. The three girls sat crying for close to an hour.

Rachel fell asleep in Santana's arms. She managed to stand up holding Rachel and gently laid her in bed. She turned back to Quinn.

"San, what are we going to do?"

"We are going to help her. We are both going to be here for her for whatever she needs. Since her dads are leaving and I don't want to leave the two of you alone, if it's ok with the both of you, I'm going to stay here as well. You have things going on in your life too Q, and you can't handle those and Rachel as well. I'm going to help you both. We'll all have each other to lean on now."

"Thank you, Santana." Quinn wrapped her arms around her best friend, Santana gladly returning the hug.

"Listen, why don't you go to sleep Q. You've been though a lot today as well. You'll be useless unless you sleep."

"What about you?"

"I'll be joining you. Her dads told me I could stay when they let me in earlier actually."

The girls climbed into the bed on either side of the sleeping diva. Quinn pulled Rachel close to her as Santana did the same from the other side, placing her arm around both girls.

Santana soon feel fast asleep.

Quinn didn't have as much luck. After she laid there for about an hour, she heard a knock on the door. She managed to sit up slightly when the door opened. Hiram stood in the doorway.

"Sorry Quinn, I hope I didn't wake you."

"No, I was still up actually."

"Oh, ok. I just wanted to say goodnight. We will probably be gone before you guys get up in the morning. Rachel knows the drill when we're gone, so any questions, just ask her."

"Ok. I can do that."

"Good. Goodnight Quinn, we'll see you in about a month. We'll call when we can."

"Have a safe trip."

The door closed without another word. He didn't even ask if Rachel was ok.

Quinn pulled herself even closer to Rachel and quietly cried herself to sleep. Before she succumbed, she vowed to herself that she was going to do everything in her power to help the tiny girl curled into her.

**A/N: Ok, I plan on starting to use Quinn and Santana to help Rachel. There will still be drama and bad things to come, but I'll try to add in more happy and good things between the three of them. Also, Rachel and Quinn will be returning to Glee, and Santana will be putting the club in their places, along with most of the student body as well in the near future. The next chapter I think will be Santana's story/side to all of this just so it will be out there!**


	33. Santana's Story

_Santana's Story_

Rachel awoke around 7 the next morning, thankful she hadn't turned her alarm on yesterday. She peaked her eyes open and realized that she was curled into a warm body. However, judging from the smell of cinnamon, it wasn't Quinn. Nervously, she pulled back slightly and found it to be Santana. Her dark hair was covering part of her face. Rachel couldn't help but think how peaceful the Latin looked as she slept.

Everything from the previous night flooded back into her mind: the talk with her dads, the urge to cut, Quinn holding her back, and the confession to both Santana and Quinn. "What have I done?" She thought to herself.

She carefully extracted herself from between the two girls and got off the bed. She looked carefully at the blonde and brunette sleeping peacefully in her bed. She was glad that she didn't disturb them. She decided the head into the bathroom before going downstairs.

What she didn't know, was that she had woken Santana up when she got out of bed.

Santana forced herself to stay still and pretend to be asleep. She was waiting to hear what Rachel would do. When she heard her enter the bathroom and shut the door, she became nervous.

Thankfully, after only a few seconds she heard the toilet flush, sink run, and the door re-open. She let out a breath she wasn't aware she had been holding. She knew that Rachel couldn't have cut in that short of time.

She listened as Rachel made her way to the door and opened it. She heard the movement of a piece of paper, then a sigh, then footsteps as Rachel walked downstairs.

Santana waited another minute or two before getting up herself and making her way towards the door. She wanted to talk to Rachel without Quinn around and now was her chance. She picked up the misplaced paper and read it.

"Rachel,

Sorry, we had to leave before you were up. We'll call when we can. See you in about a month. We told Quinn to ask you if she has any questions.

-Dad"

Santana shook her head. Rachel really hadn't been exaggerating last night. She walked out, shutting the door quietly behind her. Making her way downstairs, she quickly found the tiny girl in the living room. The tv was quietly on with some pointless infomercial. Rachel sat which her back to Santana. She could see that the girl's shoulders were slumped and she was taking deep breaths.

"Rachel" Santana said softly, not wanting to scare the girl.

Unfortunately, it didn't work and Rachel jumped about a foot in the air.

"Santana! You scared me. Don't you know that you shouldn't sneak up on people like that?"

"Sorry, I was actually trying not to scare you. Obviously it didn't work."

"It's alright. I understand. Thanks for trying anyway"

Santana settled herself on the couch next to the diva who was still holding her chest.

"I think we need to talk Rachel."

"I know." Rachel bit her lip and looked away.

"I want us to talk without Quinn around, as long as that's ok with you."

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Alright. Well, since you've told me your story, I think you need to hear mine. You need to know why I understand." She took a deep breath before continuing. "I'm an only child. It's only my dad and I. My mom left when I was 13. My dad's spends most of his time at work, but he's usually home at night. I started cutting a few months after she left because I had no idea how to deal with everything that was happening at the time. It was my way of having some type of control over something. I stopped after about two years when I was 15. High school had just started and I had made the Cheerios along with Quinn and Brit. It would have been too hard to hide the marks in the uniform, so I started taking my anger out by pushing myself at practice. I became the school bitch because I wasn't going to let anyone push me around. You were an easy target for me. It was never anything that you did. I just figured if everyone is laughing at you, then no one would be looking at me as I tried to put my life back together."

Rachel reached over and took Santana's hand

"Rachel, I'm so sorry for everything I've done to you. I'm going to change things and make it up to you. I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I would like to try, if that's ok."

"It's more then ok. I've already forgiven you after last night actually. Thank you for that, by the way."

"No prob. I could tell you were panicking and I couldn't watch it happen any longer."

"I was really scared. I know it was Quinn holding me, but I panicked and everything flashed back to that day."

"Did you tell Figgins?"

"No."

"Why the fuck not?"

"Because if I did, then Karofsky would have told about you hitting him and I didn't want you to get into any trouble for it. I've already promised Quinn that if it happens again, then I will go to Figgins, but not this time."

"Damn. Well thanks for that. I didn't think about that at the time. I was just more concerned about getting him the fuck away from you."

Both girls were quiet for a minute before Rachel spoke.

"Why did you save me?"

"Because I could stand to watch you get hurt like that. Especially from him. I've been watching you lately and I've noticed that you'd changed and weren't looking or acting like yourself. And Quinn hanging around you all the time was a red flag that something was up. I just wish I would have stepped in sooner."

"I'm just glad that you stepped in when you did."

"Listen Rachel, I already said something to Quinn last night about this, but I need to ask you. If you don't mind, I would like to stay here with you and Quinn while your dads are gone. I don't want the two of you to be alone. I think all of this may become too much for Quinn, mainly since she's still trying to deal with losing her family, more then likely, for good this time. I want to be here for both of you. The three of us can all be around for each other."

"I'd like that. And I agree about Quinn. I feel bad for dumping everything on her, but I have no one else."

"Well, you have me now. And I'm going to help you. Both of you. But, I can't help you unless you are ready to stop cutting. Are you?"

Rachel sat thinking for a minute. "Honestly, I'm not sure yet. Maybe if I find something else to throw myself into like you did, then I will be, but right now, it's all I have."

"Ok. I understand. We are going to have to find you something, you know that, right?"

"Yea, I know."

"Good. Now, I'm not going to sit here and tell you not to cut because I know that it won't work, but I am going to say that I would like if you came to me or Quinn first. Maybe just being able to talk or distract yourself will help you relax. If you are going to cut, I would like you to leave the bathroom, or whatever room you're in, door unlocked just incase. I just want to be able to get in if I need to. I'm not going to check you for cuts unless I feel that it is really necessary. I would like to know when you do cut. That way we can figure out what your triggers are so we can find a way to handle them. Deal?"

"Deal. And I'll try and come to you before I do anything. I won't promise because I don't know if I always will, but I will try."

"Right now, that's all I ask. Just, keep them cleaned and dressed. If you get an infection then things could get ugly real fast."

"I've been careful."

Santana pulled Rachel into a strong hug and gently rubbed her back as she sighed.

"Alright. Enough of this touchy-feely shit. I'm hungry and you better have something other than vegan shit in this house."

Rachel giggled. "Yea, there is. But we can go shopping later to find things for you and Quinn to eat. Speaking of Quinn, is she still asleep?"

"As far as I know. Lets go make some food then wake her up. She could use a little more sleep. Specially after dealing with you for as long as she has." She pushed Rachel with her elbow to show she was only playing.

Rachel glared and shoved Santana before sprinting to the kitchen laughing.


	34. Plans

_Plans_

About 20 minutes later, Rachel and Santana had successfully made a batch of waffles. They may have gotten a little bit of batter on each other, you know, completely by accident.

"I'll go wake Quinn. I need to apologize to her about last night."

"Good luck. I'll try not to eat everything while you're gone."

"Gee, thanks." Rachel rolled her eyes and walked out.

Once inside her room, she laid next to the still sleeping blonde. "Quinn, come on. It's time to get up. We made waffles for breakfast."

"Nope. Sleep good."

"Not this again." Rachel stood up on the bed knowing that the blonde got clingy in the morning. "Lets go Quinn!" She said a little louder.

Quinn's arms moved trying to find Rachel.

"Nope. Not going to work this time. Now get up before Santana eats everything!" Rachel started to jump on the bed to annoy Quinn.

"Alright. Fine. I'm up. Now will you stop jumping already!" Quinn groaned.

"Yes." Rachel plopped down next to her. "Listen Quinn, I'm sorry about last night."

Quinn opened her eyes to look at her diva. "It's ok. I understand. I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have done that."

"Actually, I'm glad that you did. I just wish I wouldn't have gotten so freaked out over it."

"It's ok. Lets just move past that, ok?"

"Ok. And I told Santana that she can stay here with us as. I'm actually really glad that she offered. I don't want for you to have to help me alone. It's no fair to you with everything you're dealing with right now. I also made a deal with Santana that I will try talking to one of you first before I cut. And if I'm going to, I have to keep the door unlocked as well."

"Good. I'm glad that she can help you with this."

"Did you know about her cutting?"

"No. She never told me."

"Oh, ok. Well lets go eat before it's gone and we can figure out what to do today."

Surprisingly, Santana had touched nothing. Instead, there were three plates with waffles sitting in front of the bar stools.

"You guys, this looks really good.""Thanks Q. They damn well better taste good since Rachel refused to make them non-vegan."

Rachel replied by sticking her tongue out at Santana.

"Watch it Berry or I may just have to pull it out."

"Ok, the two of you getting along is kind of creepy."

"Well then I guess you better get used to it since you're stuck with the two of us now, right Santana?"

"Yea, what the midget said. Now can we eat already?"

The girls ate as they figure out plans for the day.

"Well, we need to finish Quinn's room today. The furniture needs moved back and the bed made, and her things put away. And Santana, if you're going to stay you will obviously need to get clothes and personal stuff. I told Santana we need to shop so you two can have stuff to eat. Also, we need to figure out sleeping arrangements."

"Berry, take a breath already! The three of us can move the shit around in the room and you two can finish up when I'm home getting stuff. We can go shopping when I get back. As for sleeping, I'm not sure."

"How about you take my room, S and I'll sleep with Rachel. We were basically planning to do that anyway. He dads just wanted us to have our own spaces."

"Well, if you're going to sleep with her, try and keep her quiet. I really don't need to hear what Berry sounds like when she com-"

"Santana! We will be doing no such thing with you in the next room. There for, you have nothing to worry about."

"And actually S, she's pretty damn hot when she's screa-"

"Quinn! Oh my gosh. I think I may be changing my mind on having the two of you staying here." Rachel covered her beat red face with her hands.

"I'm sorry Rach. _I'll _behave. No promises on the other one though."

"Shut up Q. It'll be fine. Now can we get this shit done already?"

**A/N: Sorry for the shortness of this one. I wanted it separate from the next. There will be a reason for them returning to the Glee Club. The reason will be explained in time. I haven't actually decided when it will be. I can say that things will be different when they do now that Santana is around. Also, do you guys want Brittany to be brought into this or just Santana for right now?**


	35. What Did I Get Us Into

_What Did I Get Us Into_

It took the girls only a matter of minutes to move the furniture back into place in Quinn's, well, now Santana's, room and to remove the plastic covering everything.

"Alright bitches, I'm going home to get crap together and shower and shit. You two better be done and showered so we can shop. We may have to work on your wardrobe as well midget.

Rachel huffed "Santana Lopez, there is nothing wrong with the way I dress. And I'll have you know that I own quite a bit of, as you would say, "normal clothes" so I resent that."

"Actually, it's true S, she really does. You can look for yourself when you get back. Now get out."

"Fine, I'm going. You better not be lying to me. If I'm going to be seen with her, it won't be dressed in argyle and animal sweaters."

"Goodbye Santana." Rachel stuck her tongue out again. But this time Santana reached over and gave it a yank. Rachel squeaked. Quinn laughed.

"I warned you Berry, next time it's coming out." Santana smirked and walked out of the room and out the front door.

"Well then. That was odd."

Quinn shrugged. "It's Santana, what did you expect. However, I've never really seen her act like this towards anyone but maybe Britt. Go figure. Now lets finish before she gets back. I don't really want to find out what she would do it we weren't ready to go."

"I agree completely."

About 30 minutes later they had made Quinn's bed and put her clothing and possessions away, leaving room for Santana's stuff as well.

"You didn't really bring all that much, Quinn."

"I know. But there's only so much I can do in a half hour. I got most of the important stuff though."

"We can shop for you when we go out as well."

"No, it's ok. I really don't want to spend your dad's money. It's nice enough that you guys are taking me in, but I can't take the money too."

"Don't be silly Quinn. That money is for you to spend as you wish. I think they would be more offended if you didn't spend any of it actually."

"I don't know Rach, maybe. I'll think about it, ok?"

"Fine. If that's the best I'm going to get from you."

"It is." Quinn leaned down and placed a quick kiss to the pouted lips of her tiny diva. "Shower?" She wiggled her eyebrows for emphasis.

Rachel rolled her eyes "Fine. Lets go."

Quinn danced when Rachel turned around, only to be caught when Rachel noticed Quinn wasn't behind her. She raised an eyebrow at the blonde.

Quinn blushed "sorry" she mumbled.

"Just for that, don't count on getting any anytime soon." Rachel smirked.

Quinn's eyes went wide. "What? No! I'm sorry Rachel!"

Rachel only laughed and walked towards her room with Quinn protesting behind her.

Rachel kept her word and kept her hands to herself during their shower. "Nope. Not until you've earned it Quinn."

"Alright, fine. I'm sorry, ok! I didn't know it could feel like it does with you! And I haven't tried it since that day. I just got excided."

"I forgive you Quinn. I really can't stay mad at you." She pulled the blonde into her arms and placed a searing kiss to her lips, slipping her tongue inside when Quinn moaned.

After a few passionate minutes, Rachel slipped a thigh between Quinn's legs and pressed against her warm center. Quinn gasped and then moaned at the contact as she rocked herself onto the toned thigh. "Oh yes Rachel!" Quinn groaned.

They were interrupted by banging on the bathroom door. "Quit fucking each other in the shower and get out here! We don't have all day! Move you asses."

"Fuck you S!"

"Nope, from what I'm hearing that's Berry's job!"

Santana moved to lay down on Rachel's very comfortable bed to wait.

"I hate her right now." Quinn mumbled.

"I know, I do too. We better get out there though. I'd really rather not have her come in here next time. We can pick this up another time."

"Agreed."

The girls separated and Rachel shut off the water.

They made their way into the bedroom clad in their towels.

"There, happy now S?"

"Thrilled. Now get your asses dressed. We've got shit to do."

Quinn rolled her eyes and made her way to her room while Rachel walked to her closet.

"No you don't shrimp. I'm dressing you today." She got up and joined Rachel. "Damn, you really do have a lot of normal clothes."

"Told ya."

Santana reached in and pulled out a pair of skinny jeans and a green t-shirt. "Here, wear this."

"Humm. I can't."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because.. Of.." Rachel held her arms out to Santana.

"Shit, sorry." She pulled out a red long sleeved top and handed it to Rachel instead.

"Thank you."

"Where else are they?"

Rachel took a deep breath before answering "My legs and stomach as well. That's why I was bleeding after Karofsky pushed me. Some of them got torn open."

"So that's why you two threw me out."

"Yes. I'm sorry about that."

"Don't be, it's cool. Now get dressed already. No more depressing shit today, alright?"

"Alright."

Another 30 minutes later, both girls were dressed and ready to leave and Santana had put her clothing and personal stuff away in Quinn's room and the spare bathroom.

"Lets go. We're hitting the grocery story for some real food. I'm driving." Santana told them before walking out of the house.

"What have I gotten us into Quinn?"

"Honestly, I'm not really sure Rach."


	36. I'm Proud Of You

_I'm Proud Of You_

Santana drove to a grocery store a little while out of town.

"What are we doing all the way out here?" Rachel asked from the backseat.

"We're out here because it's cheap and it's less likely that coach will be here trolling for Cheerios trying to buy food not on the diet list. So, you better keep yours eyes open incase she's around midget. Cus if she is, you're taking the blame for the food or else Q and I will have to run suicides until we die, leaving you lonely all over again. Understand?"

"Yes. And if that becomes the case, I can use my acting skills to our benefit. I think we'll manage just fine."

"Ok Berry, since I'm going to be seen with you, not only are we working on your clothes, we're gunna have to work on your lack of control over your mouth."

"Be nice S."

"This is nice for me."

"It's fine Quinn. Don't worry. If this is her way of-"

"Too many words again."

"Sorry."

The girls were in the last aisle of the store, Quinn was at one end while Rachel and Santana were at the other. They hadn't seen any signs of Coach Sylvester or anyone else they knew for that matter.

It was then that Rachel turned and froze. Santana noticed this out of the corner of her eye."What's up Berry?" She eyes looked around the area Rachel was currently staring.

After a quick pass of the people, her eyes found her. Shelby. And in the cart was a car seat facing away from them. "Oh fuck no. I'm not really up for dealing with bitches today."

"You and me both."

Shelby felt eyes on her and looked up, immediately landing on the pair of brunettes across the way. She smiled, but it faltered when Rachel backed away and Santana glared."I can't deal with her Santana. Please, let's just get Quinn and leave."

"Yea. Let's get the fuck out of here." She sent Shelby another glare, warning her to stay the hell away.

Shelby watched the two girls walk away and Rachel grab Quinn's arm and pull her with them. "This is not over yet." Shelby told herself

The three made it out of the store and to the car without and further problems.

* * *

"Alright bitches, where to next?"

"Well, Quinn really could use some more clothes."

"No Rachel, I said it was fine. Don't worry about it. Lets just go home S."

"No Quinn. You don't have very much. I know you basically live in you Cheerios uniform, but you do need other things as well. Especially since it's getting colder and I noticed you didn't bring very much winter clothing. And since nothing we bought is perishable, we can go straight there."

"I have some things. I can get by."

"To the mall Santana."

"What? No! Rachel! Santana, a little help here!"

"I hate to say it Q, but the midget is right. You really didn't bring much with you. You're going to freeze you little white ass off."

"I hate you both." Quinn huffed.

"Love you too Q." Santana smirked before heading towards the mall.

* * *

Three hours later the girls were loaded down with bags. Quinn had found another 3 pairs of jeans, 5 t-shirt, 6 long sleeved tops, 2 hoodies, and a few pairs of pjs. Santana had a pair of jeans and 5 different tops. And Rachel, at Quinn and Santana's insistence, had 2 pairs of jeans and a dozen or so tops, most being long sleeved.

"I can't believe you made me buy all of this. Your dads are going to kill me."

"No they wont. Just trust me, ok? Now can we go home? I'm hungry and sick of shopping."

"Yep. But I'm going through your wardrobe when we get back I hope you know."

"I figured as much. As long as I get the final say on what stays and goes, it's fine with me."

"Damn, that was easy."

"Ok, as I said before, the two of you getting along is creepy."

They laughed as they pulled out of the parking lot and headed home.

* * *

Hours later, a rather large pile of clothing was on Rachel's floor. Santana and Quinn had pitched most of her sweaters. They tried to throw them all out, but Rachel refused saying that she'll freeze to death if they do and pulled out some of her favorites. The other two had to admit that the ones she saved really weren't that bad, and they kind of liked them. They also pitched most of the argyle knee socks and the Mary Jane's went as well. Santana tried to burn the pant-suits, but Quinn ripped the lighter out of her hands telling her that "I finally has someplace to live that I actually like, and your dumb ass isn't going to burn it down." Not one of the skirts were pitched, mainly because Quinn claimed that "Rachel has great legs." Santana said the only reason Quinn wanted to keep them was so she could gawk at said legs. Quinn didn't deny it.

* * *

The rest of the weekend passed in a blur and Rachel found herself actually smiling for the first time in a long while.

Sunday night rolled around before they knew it. They girls were currently spread out on Rachel's bed as music played quietly in the background.

Rachel broke the silence. "What's going to happen tomorrow?"

"What do you mean Rach?"

"Like, what's going to happen when we get to school. Are you guys going to go back to your old ways? Am I going to go back to being slushied and shoved into lockers? I can't help but think that maybe this weekend was just a tease and everything will go back to normal tomorrow."

"No. This isn't a teaser. Things are going to change. I'll make sure of it in the morning. Since you and Q have all but one class together, the two of you are going to stay together. We share the class the two of you don't, so I will be with you then. You'll sit with us at lunch and you will have at least one of us with you at all times. There's no Cheerios tomorrow so we'll arrive and leave together."

"Ok." Rachel said quietly before letting out a deep breath and getting up and walking towards the bathroom.

"Leave the door unlocked."

"I wasn't going to-"

"Doesn't matter. It stays unlocked or it stays open, your choice."

"Fine." She slammed the door behind her.

"Shouldn't we stop her or something S?"

"No."

"Why the heck not?"

"Because she's not going to."

"How can you be so sure about this? I'm going in there."

"No you're not Q. If you try I will either hold you down or tie you up. She needs some time to herself right now. Everything she's ever known has changed this weekend. You living here. Me staying here. She told us about what's going on when she was trying so hard to hide it. Plus what's going to happen at school tomorrow. For all she knows, we're still just fucking with her since it's what she knows and what we've always done. She needs to try to sort out her head on her own. If she needs us, she'll ask."

"How'd you get to be so smart S?"

"I'm just fucking awesome like that. I'll tell you what, if it's too quiet or we hear anything, we'll go in there."

"I guess that's fair enough."

About a half hour later, Rachel immerged from the bathroom in pjs with red puffy eyes. She settled in the middle of the bed between the two Cheerios. Quinn quickly pulled the tiny diva into her body. Rachel didn't hesitate to push her face into Quinn's neck as fresh tears poured out.

They laid in silence as Quinn ran her fingers through the soft brown locks and Santana rubbed gentle circles over the shaking back.

"We've got you Rach. It's going to be ok. Everything will be ok. We're not going anywhere" Quinn softly told her.

Rachel's sobs eventually died down and were replaced with slow even breaths indicating she was asleep.

"Stay in here again tonight S. Please."

"I planned on it."

"We have to make this right for her."

"I know. Go to sleep Q. We can't change anything else tonight."

When she was sure Quinn was asleep, Santana carefully got off the bed and went into the bathroom. There was no blood to be seen and no bloody cloths in the hamper or trash. She smiled and went back to bed. Wrapping her arms around the two sleeping girls, she whispered "Good job Rachel. I'm proud of you." and drifted off to sleep.


	37. Strange

**A/N: I wasn't going to post this until tomorrow, but I figured what the hell.**

_Strange_

Rachel quickly shut the alarm off at 5:59 before it could buzz at 6. She didn't want to wake the other two just yet.

After some quality elliptical and shower time, Rachel found herself staring at the still sleeping Cheerios on her bed. She was nervous for today. Scratch that, she was terrified. She was still waiting for all of this to be some kind of cruel joke and that they would go back to hating her as soon as they made it to school. She took one more deep breath before gently shaking Quinn.

"Come on Quinn. Time to get ready for school. You too Santana." She spoke a little louder.

Santana immediately woke up and gave Quinn a shove.

"Fuck you Santana." she grumbled

"Get your ass up Q."

"You guys can shower and get ready. I'm done so one of you can use my bathroom and the other can use the guest one." She quickly made her way out of the room when both girls started to get up. She didn't want to be in there right now.

Heading downstairs, she sat on a barstool with her head in her hands. "You can do this Rachel. It'll be ok. Just breathe. You can do this." She continued her pep talk until she heard the water shut off. She quickly made three smoothies and headed back upstairs. She sat one in Quinn's room for Santana and one in hers for Quinn before retreating back to the kitchen to wait.

* * *

When Santana and Quinn came downstairs dressed and ready, they found Rachel sitting in the kitchen staring off in her own world.

"Morning Rachel."

"Hey Berry."

".."

"Rachel? Are you ok?" Quinn looked at her with concern and waved her hand in front of the chocolate eyes.

"What? Sorry."

"You alright? You seem like you're not really there."

"Yes. I'm fine. We should go or we'll be late."

"I'm driving again." Santana proclaimed before walking out of the house.

"Rachel, are you sure you're ok? Talk to me."

"I said I was fine Quinn. Lets go before Santana starts honking." Rachel followed Santana's path out the door leaving Quinn looking dumb-struck standing there. A honk broke her from her thoughts and she quickly made her way out of the house.

* * *

Walking through the school hallway, heads turned and jaws were hitting the floor at the sight of the school's bottom of the social ladder diva flanked by the two Cheerios who made it their goal to make her life hell. Santana sneered before she began to yell. "Alright morons. New rules starting now! Berry is off limits to EVERYONE! If I catch anyone within 20 feet of her with a slushy or hear one comment from your useless mouth, you will wish you were never born! This is not a threat but a promise! Now stop staring and mind your own fucking business!" Everyone quickly turned around and some ran from the hallway afraid of what might happen.

"Thanks Santana."

"No prob. Now get your asses to class. Catch ya later." And just like that she was gone as the students parted for her.

They made it to lunch without any issues. Word had gotten around and students were flinging themselves out of the way of Rachel and Quinn. Entering the cafeteria, they quickly spotted Santana and joined her.

"Hey bitches. Any problems."

"No S. Not one actually."

"Good. But I did feel like kicking someone's ass today. Whatever, it's only lunch. What's up with her?" Santana and noticed Rachel's down word gaze, refusing to look at anyone. She was oddly quiet and it was unnerving.

"I don't know. She hasn't said much of anything all day and she won't look at me."

"Hey midget."

".."

"Rachel" Santana tried again.

".."

"Keep a close eye on her Q, ok?"

"I already am, but yea, I will."

Lunch was interrupted by one Sue Sylvester entering the cafeteria with a bullhorn. "Attention useless pathetic excuses for Cheerio's. There will be a mandatory practice after school in the gym today. If you don't show up you're off the squad. I don't gave a crap what your excuse is. Show up or kiss your spot goodbye. That is all."

A groan came from the squad as Quinn and Santana looked at each other.

"Fuck. This isn't cool."

"Yea. What are we going to do? We don't have a choice but to go."

"Just go. I'll walk home. It doesn't matter." Their heads whipped to Rachel at the quiet sound of her voice.

"No. You don't need to walk. Why don't you take S's car home and we can get a ride from someone."

"No. Just go. It's fine. I can make it home, I'm not 5." Rachel huffed before storming out of the room.

"What the fuck just happened?"

"I have no idea."

"This is not good Q."

* * *

The rest of the day went the same as the morning had. Rachel refused to acknowledge anyone the rest of the day.

As soon as the last bell rang, Rachel was out of the door before Santana had even stood up. She avoided her locker and instead headed straight to the auditorium.

Quinn and Santana had checked Rachel's locker and surrounding bathrooms with no luck in finding her. They shrugged and headed towards the gym, knowing that they would be in the dog house if they were late for practice. They head soft piano music playing from the auditorium as they passed. They shared a look and quietly stepped inside, hiding is the shadows in the back and listened as Rachel quietly began to sing.

_All around me are familiar faces  
Worn out places, worn out faces  
Bright and early for the daily races  
Going nowhere, going nowhere_

_Their tears are filling up their glasses  
No expression, no expression  
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow  
No tomorrow, no tomorrow_

_And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad  
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had  
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take  
When people run in circles its a very, very  
Mad world, mad world_

_Children waiting for the day they feel good  
Happy birthday, happy birthday  
And I feel the way that every child should  
Sit and listen, sit and listen_

_Went to school and I was very nervous  
No one knew me, no one knew me  
Hello teacher tell me, what's my lesson?  
Look right through me, look right through me_

_And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad  
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had  
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take  
When people run in circles its a very, ver  
yMad world, mad world, enlarging your world  
Mad world_

When she finished, she looked up and noticed someone walking towards her. She quickly realized it was Mr. Shue.

"Hey Rachel."

"Hi."

"That was really good."

"Thanks."

"Listen. I wanted to apologize for what I said to you. You didn't do anything wrong and it was wrong for me to yell at you and I'm sorry. The offer to come back to Glee still stands if you want."

"I'll think about it."

"Alright. Well, humm, I guess I'll leave you to it then." When he got no response he quickly left.

Rachel let out a shaky breath as her shoulders slumped.

"Hey S, do you think maybe-"

"I'll be at B's after practice, ok?"

"Thanks. It's not that I don't like having you around. It's just, we haven't had any time alone since her dads got back."

"It's cool. I understand. Plus, I miss spending time with B anyway."

They headed to practice, missing the next song Rachel slowly sang as she cried.

_Life ain't always beautiful  
Sometimes it's just plain hard  
Life can knock you down, it can break your heart_

_Life ain't always beautiful  
You think you're on your way  
And it's just a dead end road at the end of the day_

_But the struggles makes you stronger  
And the changes make you wise  
And happiness has its own way of takin' it sweet time_

_No, life aint always beautiful  
__Tears will fall sometimes  
Life aint always beautiful  
But it's a beautiful ride_

_Life aint always beautiful  
Some days I miss your smile  
I get tired of walkin' all these lonely miles_

_And I wish for just one minute  
I could see your pretty face  
Guess I can dream, but life don't work that way  
But the struggles makes me stronger  
And the changes make me wise  
And happiness has its own way of takin' its sweet time_

_No, life ain't always beautiful  
But I know I'll be fine  
Hey, life ain't always beautiful  
But its a beautiful ride  
What a beautiful ride_

**A/N: The next chapter will be all Faberry! Songs are: Mad World by Gary Jules and Life Ain't Always Beautify by Garry Allan**


	38. Talk To Me

_Talk To Me_

After Cheerio's practice and making sure Rachel was no where in the school and that Santana's car was, in fact, gone from the lot, Quinn, Santana, and Brittany piled into Brittany's car with Santana driving.

Arriving at the Berry house, Quinn quickly got out of the car giving Santana a quick look.

"Hang on a sec Q. B, I'll be back in a minute." Santana caught up with Quinn at the door.

"What's up Q?"

"I'm not completely sure what to do when I get in there."

"It'll be fine. Just try and stay calm. If you freak out then it's just going to make things worse. Try just listening to her and not pushing too hard. I'm not sure how you're going to find her, but if she did cut, don't belittle her for it. It's not something you can just stop doing over night. It takes a lot of work, and honestly, I don't think she's ready to yet. Just help her the best way that you can. Text me if you need help and I'll be right over, ok?"

"Ok. Thanks S."

"No prob. Now get your ass in there and help your girl. I'll let you know before I come back." With that, Santana jogged back to the car and pulled away.

Quinn took a deep breath before turning the handle and walking into the house. She headed straight to Rachel's room, figuring it was the best place to start. The door was open but the bathroom door wasn't. She quickly walked to it, sending up a quick prayer for strength to get through whatever she was about to find on the other side.

She gently knocked. "Rachel? It's me. I'm coming in now, ok?" When she got no response, the decision was made for her.

Pushing the door open, she stuck her head in and looked around. She felt her heart break at what she saw.

Rachel was sitting against the wall in her bra and underwear. Her legs were stretched out in front of her. Quinn could see every cut on Rachel's tiny body. Rachel was staring down at the razor blade currently being played with in her hands. Quinn watched as Rachel lightly ran her finger over the blade. It was light enough that she wasn't cutting, just simply feeling it on her finger tips.

Quinn entered the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. "Rach?" She asked, slowly sitting down next to the diva.

Rachel looked up at Quinn who could see the unshed tears in her chocolate eyes.

"It's ok Rachel."

Rachel simply shook her head and looked back down.

They sat in silence as Quinn tried to figure out what to say.

"You can you know."

Rachel looked back up at her and furrowed her brows in confusion.

"I mean you can cut if you need to. I know that Santana and I want you to stop, but I get that it won't just happen. You're still going to sometimes when you're trying to stop. If it's what you need to do to feel better, then do it. But do know that it's only a temporary relief. You'll have to keep cutting to keep getting it. It will just make things worse in the long run." When Rachel didn't move, Quinn worried that she had said the wrong thing and was just making it worse.

She was surprised when after a few seconds, Rachel laid her head on her shoulder and sighed. Quinn smiled and breathed a sigh of relief. She held out her hand and Rachel placed the blade into the blonde's palm. Quinn tossed it onto the sink and wrapped her arms around the diva.

"Shelby was at the store the other day."

"What?"

"When the three of us went grocery shopping. Santana and I saw her and she saw us."

"Is that why the two of you basically dragged me out?"

"Yes. I couldn't handle Shelby, and I didn't know what you would do since she had Beth with her."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry Quinn."

"Don't be. I'm kind of glad that you did. I don't think I could have dealt with that just yet anyway."

"You can talk to me, you know. You've been here for me, now let me be here for you. Please"

Quinn nodded her head and took a deep breath. She figured that she may as well tell Rachel everything.

**A/N: Sorry this one is really short. I wanted to get something posted tonight since its been a few days. The rest of their talk should be up tomorrow. Quinn will spill her guts as will Rachel.**


	39. I Love You

_Quinn nodded her head and took a deep breath. She figured that she may as well tell Rachel everything._

_

* * *

_

_I Love You_

"Ok. But can we maybe mover somewhere a little more comfortable?"

Rachel giggled and stood up offering Quinn her hand. Quinn couldn't stop herself from looking at the cuts on the brunette's thighs and stomach. Rachel knew what she was looking at.

"Later, ok? Right now it's about you."

Quinn nodded and took the offered hand, letting herself be pulled up.

Quinn settled herself on the bed as Rachel put on a pair of sweats and a tank top before sitting down next to her.

"How much do you want to know?"

"Whatever you're comfortable with telling me. You don't have to tell me everything. Just what you feel comfortable divulging."

Quinn took one more deep breath. "Ok. I'll start with Beth. I know giving her away was best for her, but I still have regrets about it sometimes. It still hurts that I won't see her grow up or be there for her first steps or first words or for any other of her firsts. I know Shelby will take care of her, but she's still my daughter. I'll always think about her and about what could have been if I kept her. I'm not ready to be a mom yet, I know that, but I can't help but think about the what ifs."

Rachel stayed quiet looking at Quinn. She had decided to let her get everything out before speaking up unless she was asked. She gave her a nod to continue.

"I can't believe that my mom took my dad back. Well, ok, maybe I can, but still. He cheated on her. I can't believe that she let him kick me out for the second time and she just stood there and shrugged at me. It was like she didn't care what happened to me any longer. In a way I'm glad to be out of there. My dad used to beat me when I did something he didn't like or approve of. My mom was always drunk so she just sat there and watched or pretended to not hear what was going on in the next room. He hit me so hard the day he saw me talking to you in elementary school that I was unconscious for two hours."

She paused to wipe away the tears that had escaped. Rachel took her hand and gave it a squeeze for reassurance as tears fell from her own eyes.

"I joined to the Cheerios and Celibacy Club because it was expected of me by him. I hoped if I did what he wanted, everything would be ok. I was obviously wrong. I was actually relieved that Finn sang that stupid song telling my parents that I was pregnant. At least since he was there, nothing happened to me. I was lucky that I only got kicked out that night. I tortured you because I was jealous of you. You had two parents who loved you no matter what you did. I know now that they're not around as much as I figured, but I know they still love you. I was jealous that you were comfortable in your own skin. You're ok with being who you are and I never have been. You acted as though nothing bothered you and it pissed me off that you could seem to be happy when I was making your life a living hell since mine was falling apart around me. You always had everything that I ever wanted. I'm so sorry Rachel. I'm sorry."

"Stop Quinn. Don't apologize. I've already forgiven you for our past. You need to forgive yourself for it now."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can, and you will. Quinn, you being here and trying to help means everything to me. It proves that you really are different and trying to be a better person. Forgive yourself."

"Maybe one day I can. Rachel, I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to you. I'm so scared that I'm going to say the wrong thing to you and it's just going to make everything worse. I'm scared that I'm going to cause you to hurt yourself because I can't figure out what to do. I honestly don't know what to do to help you."

"Quinn, you just being here and giving me someone to talk to is helping me. I've never really had that from anyone. I've never even had a friend until you. And what you said to me earlier was good."

"I got most of that from Santana honestly."

"And that's ok. I get that you won't always know what to do and I'm sure that I will be as confused with some of your problems. What we can do though, is try and figure things out together. And, with Santana around now, providing she does stick around, we'll have her too. There will probably be some times when you need to talk to her instead of me and that's ok too. There will probably be those times for me as well."

"Yea, you're probably right on that. I know sometimes she would be better with you and maybe me too. We can decided when those times do come around if we want to include each other as well. I don't want to keep secrets between us, but I understand if sometimes it may take a little bit of time to tell each other some things."

"I agree. Lets just take this slow between us, ok?"

"Deal. Now, I think I've gotten most of my stuff off my chest, what's going on with you? Santana and I saw you singing after school and we heard you talking to Mr. Shue."

"He's trying to get me to come back to Glee. I was singing because it makes me feel better."

"Do you want to go back?"

"Yes and no. I miss it honestly. I want to go back because I love to sing and perform. But I don't want to deal with the names and the teasing. I don't think that I can take it."

"You know, now that you have S and me at your side, things would probably be a lot better. I'm sure she wouldn't hesitate to put everyone in their place, including Shue.""Really? Wait, speaking of her, where is Santana?"

"She's over at Brittany's. I wanted some time with just the two of us so that we could talk."

"I'm glad. I miss it just being us."

"Me too."

"Are you still ok with her staying with us?"

"Yes, are you?"

"Yes. It's nice to have someone else around honestly."

"Yea, I know. Is there anything else you want to tell me Rach?"

"Not right now I don't think. Do you think things would really be alright if I went back to Glee?"

"I'm not sure completely, but I think it would be ok. If not, we can always quit again."

"You don't have to leave just because I do, you know."

"Yea, I know. But I think it's only fair. If they can't be nice to my girlfriend then I don't want anything to do with them. Plus, I think Santana would follow us out at this point."

Rachel giggled. "I feel better now."

"Yea, me too Rach." Quinn pulled the tiny diva into her arms, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

Their moment of peace was interrupted by Rachel's stomach growling. They pulled apart and Rachel blushed.

"Rach, did you eat today? Other then the smoothie at breakfast."

"No. I didn't"

"Then lets go find something. It's my turn to cook anyway."

The girls held hands as they made their way downstairs. It was then that Rachel noticed the light blinking on the answering machine. She stopped and pushed the play button. Hiram's voice filled the air. "Hi girls. I have some news. The Fabray's have signed custody of Quinn over to us. She is officially part of the family. Quinn, we've added you onto our medical insurance as well. Take care of each other and we'll be home in a few weeks."

The girls slowly tuned to look at each other before leaping into each other's arms.

"I can't believe that they did it."

"I know. Are you still ok with this?"

"More then ok. I feel like I could actually have a family now."

"You do Quinn. And you always will."

"Hey Rach, maybe we need to tell your dads about what's going on."

"I thought about that, but I'm still not sure yet. Maybe I'll change my mind by the time they come back."

"I hope so."

The next few hours flew by and the girls found themselves in bed for the night. Santana had texted them and said that she was staying the night at Brittany's and would see them in the morning. Quinn told her that they had to have a talk in the morning about Glee.

Rachel was currently sound asleep on her stomach, facing away from Quinn.

Quinn had her head propped up on her arm as she watched the sleeping girl and played with the silky dark hair. She spoke quietly as to not wake the girl. "I know you want me to forgive myself, but I can't. Not yet. I need to make up for the way I've treated you before I can. I can't thank you enough for giving me another chance and for taking me in. I owe everything to you. I.. I love you, Rachel." Quinn wrapped her arm around the still sleeping girl and curled herself into the warm body. Rachel shifted in her sleep, scooting closer to the blonde, throwing her arm around the slim waist. Quinn soon fell fast asleep with a smile on her face.


	40. Slushied

_Slushied_

Rachel found herself, yet again, awake before her morning alarm. This time it was 5:30, a full half hour before she needed to get up. She realizes that at some point during the night, she had moved to the other side of the bed and away from Quinn. She let out a quiet breath knowing that she wouldn't be able to fall back to sleep since her mind was already starting to wander. Her mind re-played some of the events from the previous day. Over Santana's threat to the student body, students staying out of her way, what Mr. Shue said to her, realizing that she missed Glee, singing after school while she felt like crap, the talk with Quinn, her dads getting custody of Quinn. The one thing that stuck out in her mind was that Quinn told her it was ok if she cut because she probably would even if she was trying to stop. Rachel knew that she didn't want to stop yet. It felt too good and gave her such relief. She was nervous because she planned on returning to Glee today. She was scared about what was going to happen when she got there. Everything Quinn and Santana were doing for her still didn't feel real. She was still waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under her and everything would go back to how it had been. She figured that it was only a matter of time.

She glanced once again at the clock and noticed it was 5:59. She quickly turned off the alarm not wanting to wake Quinn. She wanted to cut. No, she needed to cut. Quinn had stopped her yesterday, but now with the blonde asleep, she wouldn't.

Deciding that she really needed the exercise, Rachel told herself elliptical first then cutting if she still felt the need to.

45 minutes later, the urge was still there and still very strong.

She took a quick shower first so she could take her time with her next task. She poked her head out of the bathroom door and saw Quinn was still fast asleep on the bed. She smiled and shut the door again.

Rachel stood naked in front of the mirror looking at herself. She stared at the healing cuts covering her stomach and thighs. She let her fingers gently run over them, feeling the roughness of the scabs and the smooth skin between lines. She would never admit it, but she was very insecure about her body. After years of hearing that she was fat and ugly, she had started to believe it. She used her fingers and poked and pinched her stomach before moving down to her hips. She managed to grab maybe a quarter of an inch of fat. She felt disgusted at herself for it. She vowed to skip a few meals and add to her exercise routine.

She heard Quinn stir in the bed and realized that she needed to get moving. She picked up the blade still laying on the sink from where Quinn had tossed it yesterday. Picking a fresh area on her stomach, she started to slice. Waves of relief washed over her with ever new cut she added to her stomach. She stared in awe as the blood started to surface and trickle down her stomach forming bright red lines as it fell. She couldn't stop the smile that graced her lips in the process.

Rachel had added another 5 cuts before she was satisfied. She cleaned the blade and placed it back on the counter so Quinn wouldn't get suspicious of she noticed it had been moved. She used a cold, wet rag to clean the blood off before covering the cuts.

She quickly made her way out of the bathroom and got dressed so Quinn wouldn't see the fresh bandages. She settled on her new usual outfit of jeans and a long sleeved top.

She woke Quinn before making her way out of the room as she had done the previous day. She made the blonde a smoothie, deciding to forgo one for herself.

When Quinn wondered her way into the kitchen, she placed a kiss to Rachel's cheek and sat down on the bar stool next to her.

"Morning Rach."

"Morning Quinn."

"How'd you sleep."

"Not too bad. You?"

"Great actually."

"Good. You need your rest. I made you another smoothie for breakfast and I think we should leave before it gets to late."

"Oh, well, ok. I'm driving today."

"That's fine."

* * *

Once at school, the girls headed towards Rachel's locker to find Santana and Brittany waiting for them.

"Hey B, S."

"Hi Santana, Brittany."

"Hey."

"Hi Q! Hi Rachel!" Brittany squealed before yanking the diva into her arms.

Rachel was shocked at first, but quickly found herself relaxing into the tall blonde's body. This caused Brittany to hug tighter. Rachel winced at the pain that shot from her still raw stomach. She quickly wiped the look off her face and pulled away hoping her moment of pain had gone unnoticed.

Unfortunately for her, Santana saw it and instantly became concerned.

"Hey B, why don't you walk Rachel to class. I need to talk to Q for a sec."

"Alright." Brittany smiled before taking Rachel's hand and pulling her down the hall.

Once they were out of ear shot, Santana tuned back to Quinn.

"When did she cut?"

"What are you talking about? She didn't."

"She looked like she was in pain when Brittany hugged her a minute ago."

"She didn't cut S. I talked her out of it last night when I found her. Speaking of which, she wants to go back to Glee."

"Yea, I figured this was coming. I'll take care of the rest of the club before practice."

"That would be great S, thanks."

"Yep. No prob. Now lets go, I'm missing out on quality time with B."

"Whatever. Not like you didn't just spend the whole night with her or anything. Wait, what did you tell her about all of this?"

"I didn't. I only told her that she could be friends with Rachel if she wanted. I figured it was best if she didn't know what was going on."

"Yea, I agree with that. Did you ever tell her about you?"

"No. You and Berry are the only two who know."

* * *

_Meanwhile_

Brittany had left Rachel in her first period before walking two doors over to her own.

Rachel realized as she sat waiting that she really needed to use the bathroom. Figuring that everything would be fine after Santana's threat yesterday, she took her purse and headed towards the nearest restroom.

Not paying attention to what was taking place around her, she didn't noticed the two jocks quickly approaching her with a slushy when they noticed there was no Cheerios around her.

The cold liquid was like a slap in the face to her. Sure, she was used to them, but they still stung like a bitch when it happened.

"Oops, sorry dyke, didn't see you there. Not like anyone would." The first sneered.

"Really, why don't you just kill yourself already. Not like anyone would give a damn." The second laughed as they walked away high-fiving.

Normally, Rachel would refuse to cry and let them bother her, but this time she didn't try to stop the tears as they silently fell down her cheeks as she walked back to her locker. She was hoping that Quinn and Santana wouldn't be there. She knew it had been too good to be true. Maybe the jocks were right, maybe no one would care if she disappeared.

She took her slushy kit from her now vacated locker and found a bathroom. She quickly washed her hair and face before locking herself in a stall to change her clothes. She found the razor she had hidden in her bag. She added another 10 cuts across her thighs as the tears continued to fall.

She bandaged herself up quickly and pulled on a pair of sweat pants, a t-shirt, and a hoodie. She didn't want to be late for class and have to deal with the teacher if she was.

Rachel ditched her bag and quickly headed back to her first period.

* * *

Quinn was starting to get nervous when Rachel wasn't in class. Her book bag was there, but she wasn't. The bell would be ringing in about a minute and she knew Rachel hated to be late. She pulled out her phone to text Brittany but stopped when she saw a brunette slip into the seat next to her.

She quickly looked up to ask where the hell she had been but the words died in her throat when she took in Rachel appearance. The girl's hair was wet and she was wearing something completely different then she had on less then 10 minutes ago. She also could see that her eyes were red and swollen. She knew the girl had been crying and she was now pissed that someone had the nerve to shushy her.

"Rachel, what happened? Who did it?"

"…"

"Rach." Quinn reached over and touched the girl.

Rachel quickly pulled away at the contact. "Leave me alone Quinn." Rachel sneered at her.

Hurt quickly flashed across Quinn's face before anger re-appeared. Abandoning her text to Brittany, she quickly selected Santana. "Rachel got slushied."

"What? How do you know?"

"Because her hair is wet and she's got different clothes on. She pulled away when I tried to touch her and told me to leave her alone."

"When I find out who did it I'm kickin some serious ass. Don't leave her alone even if she tries to get away. Keep an eye on her. I'll see you guys at lunch. Keep me updated."

"I will. Thanks S."

The bell rang signaling the start of the day as soon as she hit the send button.

**A/N: Ok, this one ends here. The next will be the continuation of the same day. There will be Shelby involvement in the next chapter so fair warning.**


	41. She Needs Help

_She Needs Help_

Rachel hadn't spoken one word to Quinn all morning. Quinn did, however, receive a few glares from said diva and what she was pretty sure was a growl or two as well. Never one to back down, Quinn continued to stay close to the very pissed of diva even though she would be lying if she said that she wasn't afraid of her. Actually, pissed off Rachel terrified her if she was being honest. Lunch was about to start and she knew that she needed to do something.

Before Rachel could escape, Quinn grabbed a hold of her arm and drug her towards the cafeteria ignoring the diva's protests and attempts to free herself. She simple held on tighter. Along the way she found Santana and Brittany an motioned for them to follow as well.

Quinn kicked the doors to the cafeteria open causing everyone inside to freeze. Silence instantly fell.

Quinn's grip on Rachel loosened just enough that she was able to pull away.

"Santana" Quinn yelled.

Before Rachel manage two steps Santana had a hold of the diva and shoved her between Brittany and herself. Brittany's arm made its way around the tiny waist and held on as Santana kept a firm grip on her arm.

Quinn pulled a chair out from the nearest table and stood on it giving herself a height advantage. She was now towering over the still silent students who were too scared to say anything but were shooting nervous glances at one another. Quinn began to speak in an oddly calm voice which sent shivers up everyone's spines. Quinn was pissed and ready for blood.

"Alright listen up. If I'm not mistaken, Santana here warned everyone that you were to stay away from Rachel. You were to be no where near her with a slushy, say anything rude to her, or even look at her if you couldn't play nice. However, I'm now aware that some of you failed to followed this new rule. I want to know who threw the slushy this morning and I want to know now." Quinn's anger was starting to get the best of her and her voice was steadily rising in volume. "Well? Someone better own up to it or everyone's lives will become hell."

No one dared to say anything, even those who knew which jocks were at fault.

Quinn wasn't having any of it. "Jewfro. Her. Now."

Jacob quickly scurried to Quinn afraid of what might happen if he didn't come when called. "Yes Quinn?" He gulped

"Who did I?"

"I don't.."

"Don't even try it. I know that you know exactly who did it. Out with it or I'll be letting Puck have his fun with you."

Jacob shivered at the thought of what the mohawked jock would do to him. His eyes shifted to the left side next to were Quinn was currently standing.

Following his gaze, Quinn noticed a pair of jocks standing against the wall attempting to look bored and go unnoticed. Quinn literally growled. "You can leave now Ben-Israel."

Not having to be told twice, Jacob quickly back far away from the HBIC putting as much distance between the two of them as he could.

"Now for you two morons." Quinn jumped off the chair and slowly began to walk towards them as she spoke. "What part of leave her the hell alone didn't quite make it threw your fat heads? Did you think we decided to just screw around with everyone? That this was some kind of a joke were wanted to play with Rachel? Think that this was something fun to do to pass the time? Well guess what, you are both very, _very _wrong." Quinn was now standing directly in front of them. Each were at least a head taller then her, but Quinn wasn't backing down. She needed to protect _her _Rachel. "Karofsky, slushies. Now."

Within moments Karofsky was at Quinn's side handing her two very large red slushies. "Thank you. And by the way, I haven't forgotten my little threat. You know, the one where if anything happened to Rachel it would be your ass? Santana will be taking care of you later."

Karofsky looked passed Quinn and his eyes found the said Latina. Santana gave him the sweetest smile she could and waved a few fingers at him. Karofsky paled and gulped before quickly backing away in attempts to hide.

Quinn turned back to the now quivering jocks and with one quick toss, both were covered in red slushie. She placed a swift quick of her foot into each of their groins. Hard. They both squealed and fell to the floor in pain. A cup bounced off each of their heads. "If I find out that either of you have so much as breathed wrong in her direction, I. Will. End. You." Quinn sternly growled.

"Back to what you were doing!" Quinn snapped at the rest of the student body who quickly looked away as she made her way back to where Rachel was still being held between the two Cheerios.

Rachel had head every word that came out of Quinn mouth, and as much as she wanted to believe it, she couldn't. She refused to believe that Quinn would do something like that for her. The slushy from that morning still made it too hard.

Quinn motioned for Rachel to be let go. When Santana and Brittany complied, Rachel bolted out the door.

"Not really the reaction I was hoping for." Quinn mumbled.

"Hey B, why don't you go sit with the rest of the gleeks for lunch? We'll be back in a little bit." Santana gently told Brittany. She knew that Quinn and herself needed to find Rachel before something happened to her and she really didn't want Brittany to witness what was going on.

"Ok. Don't be long!" Brittany happily replied as she bounced away.

"Lets go Q."

"Where do you think she went?"

"Auditorium."

"How did you? What?"

"Just guessing, but I'm pretty sure I'm right."

She was.

As the pair slipped into the back of the auditorium and into the last row of seats. They could see Rachel sitting at the piano on the stage. A loud jumble of notes echoed through the empty room as Rachel's fists made contact with the keyboard. A loud sob followed as Rachel lowered her head.

The two girls sat silent and unmoving. Unsure of what to do next, they simply watched as Rachel cried. They could feel their hearts breaking for the girl who had somehow managed to win them over in a very short time.

Eventually Rachel managed to calm herself down enough to sit back up. She was still crying as her fingers started to play. Her voice was deep and laced with tears as she sang. The girls instantly recognized the song, but Rachel was playing a slower more subdued version of it.

_But I couldn't tell you  
__Why she felt that way  
__She felt it everyday  
__And I couldn't help her  
__I just watched her make  
__The same mistakes again _

_What's wrong, what's wrong now  
__Too many, too many problems  
__Don't know where she belongs  
__Where she belongs  
_

_She wants to go home but nobody's home  
__That's where she lies broken inside  
__With no place to go, no place to go  
__To dry her eyes broken inside _

_Open your eyes (open your eyes)  
__And look outside  
__Find the reasons why (why)  
__You've been rejected (you've been rejected)  
__And now you can't find  
__What you've left behind _

_Be strong, be strong now  
__Too many too many problems  
__Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs  
_

_She wants to go home but nobody's home  
__That's where she lies broken inside  
__With no place to go, no place to go  
__To dry her eyes broken inside _

_And her feeling she hides  
__Her dream she can't find  
__She's losing her mind  
__She's fallen behind  
__And she can't find her place  
__She's losing her faith  
__She's fallen from grace  
__She's all over the place (place)  
__Yeah (yeah) oh..oh..._

_She wants to go home but nobody's home  
__That's where she lies broken inside  
__With no place to go, no place to go  
__To dry her eyes broken inside _

_She's lost inside, lost inside (oh, oh)  
__She's lost inside, lost inside (oh, oh)  
__Oooh_

When Rachel finished, both Santana and herself quickly wiped away the few stray tears that had escaped as they watched. "She needs help Santana."

"I know."

Quinn glanced at her watch and realized the bell signaling class change would be ringing in a few minutes and she wanted Rachel to have time to compose herself and wash her face before having to face everyone. "Come on, bell is gunna ring."

Santana stood and silently followed Quinn to the stage.

"Rach?" Quinn gently spoke, not wanted to frighten the broken girl and cause her to run again. "The bell is going to ring soon. Lets go to the bathroom so you can wash up, ok?" She placed a hand on Rachel's shoulder and found herself relieved when she didn't pull away. She simply nodded and stood up.

"Hey S, why don't you go take care of Karofsky for me?"

"Sure thing." Santana quickly left to find her victim.

Quinn took Rachel's hand in her own and gently led her out and to the bathroom across the hall. She stood silently against the wall and watched as Rachel quickly splashed water on her face and wiped away any and all traces of tears.

* * *

Rachel stayed silent for the rest of the day, but did allow Quinn next to her and went with Santana without complaint for the last class of the day.

When the last bell rang, Santana and Rachel headed to Rachel's locker to find Quinn.

"I'm not going to Glee. I can't." Was the only thing Rachel said.

"I understand. Lets just go home Rach. We'll see you there, ok S?"

"Yea sounds good."

* * *

"I'm going for a run." Rachel informed Quinn when they pulled in the driveway. She quickly shoved the ear buds of her ipod in and took off down the road.

Quinn wasn't sure what to think. She let her head fall against the steering wheel as a few tears escaped. She found herself praying again. "I need You. I need Your help. I don't know if I can do this. I don't know what to do to help her. I'm scared that I'm going to lose her. Please, please don't let me lose her. I can't, not after everything. I love her so much. Please don't take her away from me. Show me what I need to do. Help me. Keep me strong because I'm starting to fall apart. I need to keep it together for Rachel. Just let me help her first then I can fall apart. Please."

Quinn reluctantly pulled herself out of the car and into the house. She headed straight for their bedroom and curled up with Rachel's pillow. The smell of the brunette instantly calmed her. Before she knew it, she was fast asleep breathing in the smell of Rachel.

When she woke up two hours later, she realized the house was silent. She quickly searched the house and outside with no luck at locating either Rachel or Santana. She found her phone and sent Santana a text.

"Is Rachel with you?"

The reply came in only a few seconds. "No. Still at school. Why?"

"I can't find her. She's been gone on a run for two hours. I'm worried."

"I'll be there in a few."

* * *

_Meanwhile_

Rachel had been running for about two hours before she realized she was exhausted and stopped to catch her breath. Looking around, she realized that she hadn't a clue where she was. She had been to angry and stressed to pay attention to where she had been going. "Great. Good job Rachel. Way to pay attention. You're a real piece of work, you know that? No wonder no one wants or even likes you." She sat down on the curb as the tears started to cascade down her cheeks as she tried to figure out what to do. She knew it was going to be getting dark very soon and she would have a big problem.

What Rachel didn't know was that the woman who's house she was currently sitting in front of, had been watching her.

"Rachel?"

Rachel froze at the sound of the voice. She knew the voice. "Fuck." Was the word that come out of her mouth.

"Rachel? Is that you?"

Taking a breath as she shut her eye she before she answered. "What Shelby?"

"I just noticed that you were out here.?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, you happen to be sitting in front of my house is all. What are you doing here? Is everything ok?"

"I was running and not paying attention. I have no idea where I am. So yea, everything is just fan-fucking-tastic. Now if you could point me home I'll be gone and we can forget this ever happened."

"It's getting dark, why don't I just take you home or one of your dads can come get you."

Rachel laughed. "No I wouldn't want to take away time with your precious daughter and it's not like they can come get me. I'm leaving." She stood and started to walk away.

Shelby stood for a few seconds before she quickly caught up to Rachel and grabbed her arm forcing her to stop. "Lets go. You're coming inside and I'm calling your fathers. Beth isn't here, she's with my parents for the night."

"Well good for her to be getting away from you."

Rachel's words stung Shelby as guilt washed over her. "Come on. We need to talk."

Shelby was stronger than Rachel gave her credit for. She had no difficulty pulling the smaller girl inside the house and pushing her down on the couch. She picked up the phone and dialed the Berry house.

After two rings she heard the phone pick up and a female voice on the other end.

"Rachel? Is that you? Where are you?"

"Humm, is this the Berry house."

"Yes. Who is this?"

"Shelby. Who's this?"

"Quinn. What do you want?"

"Rachel's at my house with me."

"What? What's she doing with you? I thought I told you to stay away from her!"

"I found her sitting outside. Listen, are her dads home?"

Quinn scoffed. "No, they're not."

"Well when will they be home."

"Honestly, not any time soon."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing. Give me your address, I'm coming to get her."

"I can just bring her over there."

"No. I'm picking her up. Give it to me. Now." Quinn was growling into the phone at this point.

Shelby sighed knowing that she would probably lose this fight. She gave Quinn her address before hanging up the phone and turning back to Rachel.

* * *

_Berry House_

Santana had walked in the door just as Quinn was hanging up the phone. "Did you find her?"

"She's at Shelby's. I'm going to get her."

"I'll go."

"No, it's fine. I'll do it."

"Quinn, your pissed and freaked out. I'm not letting you drive. You can come if you want or stay and calm down or something. You're useless if you're not calm."

"Fine. Go get her." Honestly, Quinn was relived that she wouldn't have to go. She couldn't handle potentially seeing Beth.

"I'll be back in a bit."

* * *

_Shelby's_

Rachel took notice of all the baby stuff in the living room and felt her heart break a little more.

Shelby couldn't help but notice how broken Rachel looked as she sat looking around the room. Right now she found herself glad that Beth wasn't there.

"Rachel, what's going on? Where are your dads?"

Rachel bit her lip trying to decide what to tell her and what to leave out. "On a trip for work."

"They left you alone?"

"I'm 16 and more then capable of taking care of myself."

"Well judging from the fact that you ended up here and lost, I seriously doubt that."

"It's fine. It was one stupid mistake. Can you stop acting like you care when you really don't."

"I do care."

"No, you really don't. You feel guilty but you don't care. You lost your right to care when you walked away from me, again. The last straw was when you adopted Beth. You confirmed that I'm not good enough. I'm just some mistake that you made and nothing more. That was evident when you had no problems replacing me with you perfect daughter."

"Rachel, that's not true. You're grown up, you don't need me."

"Bullshit! If you would have taken any time to get to know me you would know that I needed you. You made up your mind the instant you met me without even bothering to get to know me first. You just walked away." Rachel was hurt and still angry. She didn't want to tell Shelby very much but she figured she may as well get a few things off her mind in the process.

"Rachel, I'm so sorry. I didn't know. Please, talk to me. What's going on with you? I'm here now Rachel. Please, let me be here."

"No. I told you to stop pretending that you give a damn about me! Stop trying to use me to kill your guilt because you fucked up! I'm used to having no one, why try to change that now?"

"I-" Shelby's reply was cut off by the door bell. She sighed before getting up to answer it. She was expecting to see Quinn on the other side but instead found one very pissed off looking Latina dressed in a cheerleading uniform. "Yes?"

"Where's Rachel? I'm here to get her."

"She's in the living room but I want to know what's going on."

"No. It's none of your damn business."

"She's my daughter so yes it is."

"You gave away your right to call her that." Santana sneered as she pushed her way into the house. She couldn't help but notice how small and hurt Rachel looked sitting in a room filled with baby things. She offered Rachel her hand as she gently spoke "Come on Rachel, lets go home."

Rachel nodded and wiped away her tears before taking Santana's hand, allowing herself to be pulled up and to the door.

Shelby held out a hand to stop the girls and looked at Rachel. "This isn't over yet. I'm not giving up Rachel. I really do care about you." She told her sincerely.

Santana simply lead Rachel out and towards the car. She didn't notice that Rachel had looked back at Shelby and gave her a small nod of thanks.

* * *

The ride home was silent. Rachel noticed that she was actually just on the other side of Lima where she hadn't been before. She made a mental note of where Shelby lived just incase.

* * *

Santana shut off the engine when they pulled in the drive way. Neither girl moved to get out of the car.

"I know you cut Rachel. I also know that you didn't talk to Quinn or I about it."

Rachel only nodded her head.

"I'm sorry for this, but I said I wasn't going to check you unless I felt the need to. I want you do go upstairs and undress. All bandages come off as well."

"What? Santana, please. No."

"I'm sorry. Quinn can be there if you want, but I need you to do this. I'll do it myself if you don't."

Rachel knew there was no point in arguing. She would lose and she was pretty sure Santana wasn't kidding about stripping her herself. "Fine. I want Quinn there."

"Ok. Lets go."

Rachel headed straight upstairs as Santana got Quinn.

"What's going on? Is she ok?"

"Honestly, I don't really know. Come on, she wants you for this."

"For what?"

"You'll see."

**A/N: Ok, I hope this is long enough to make up for the last chapter! I decided to cut it here because I felt it was getting a little too long at this point. Song is Nobody's Home by Avril Lavigne**


	42. Dr Santana

_Dr. Santana_

When Santana and Quinn got upstairs, they found Rachel sitting on the end of the bed with a robe pulled tightly around herself.

Santana knew how hard this was going to be for Rachel. She was glad she had the robe on because it would give her a chance to talk to her first. She made her way to the bed and sat down. "Look at me Rachel." She was speaking very calm and gentle.

Rachel didn't move.

Santana placed her hand under the girls chin and turned her head.

Rachel eyes dropped, still refusing to make contact. "Please look at me hunnie. I need you to look in my eyes. I want to explain a few things first before I do this, ok?"Rachel bit her lip and hesitated for a few seconds before her eyes drifted up an met the sincere dark brown eyes in front of let go of her chin and was glad the girl didn't move. She could see the pain, the hurt, and the fear in the chocolate eyes. "Rachel, I'm not doing this to call you out or put you on the spot, that's not what this is about. I want to know how bad its gotten. I haven't asked to see your legs or stomach and you did show me your arms the other day on your own, but now I'm asking to please let me see. I'm worried about you. Quinn is worried about you. You're scaring the shit out of both of us."

Rachel's gaze flickered over to Quinn who nodded silently. She looked back at Santana and waited for her to continue.

"Please let me see. Let us see. I want to make sure nothing is infected and that the deep ones are healing ok. I also hope you kept you bra and underwear on, if not you can put them on first. I'm not going to ask to see you naked because I think that's to far. However, I will use my judgment and if I think those places need to be looked at, I will ask Quinn to do it instead of me if you would rather. You are going to get a say in what goes on, I promise, but right now, let us take care of you, ok?"Rachel's voice was quiet and unsure "Ok. But... Please don't judge me for this.""We're not judging you Rachel. I know that this is hard. I did everything I could to hide my cuts from everyone. I waited till everyone had left the locker room or went into a stall to change after gym. Even around Quinn and Britt I hid myself. I always made sure I was covered when they were around."Santana's confession caused a realization for Quinn. "So that's why you always went to the bathroom at sleepovers even when the rest of us just changed in the room?""Yes. I was scared of what people would say if they found out. It's not something I'm really that proud of. I'll always have the scars, but in a way, they remind me of how far I've come."Rachel had been listening closely to every word Santana had said. She had been scared to ask what she was about to, but she hoped that this would be her chance. "Santana? Umm.. Where did you... Umm.. Never mind.""No, it's ok. I want you to be honest with me and it's only fair that I'm honest as well. You want to know where I cut, right?""Yea.""Ok." Santana stood up and took a deep breath before unzipping her Cheerios skirt, letting it fall to the floor. She used her fingers to slide her spanks and underwear down and away from both of her hips. "They're pretty faded now thanks to some oil I used, but if you look close you can see them."Quinn stepped closer as Rachel leaned forward from the bed. They were able to see the fine, thin lines running in every direction and crsis-crossing each other. There was close to 100 cuts on each side."Oh my… S.. I.."

"Don't worry about it Q. It's in the past. I haven't done it since. But right now this is not about me. Rachel?"

Rachel looked up from Santana's hip and met her eyes. She nodded and stood up.

Santana replaced her spanks on her hips but left her skirt on the floor. If Rachel was going to be in her underwear, than so was she.

Rachel shakily untied her robe as she shut her eyes. She didn't want to see their reactions when she did this. She opened the robe and let it fall to the floor behind her.

Quinn let out a gasp and her eyes widened. Santana quickly shot her a glare warning her to shut up. Quinn slapped her hand to her mouth to stop a sob threatening to escape.

Santana turned back to the diva who was still shaking with her eyes tightly closed. She was finally seeing what was going on.

Rachel's stomach and thighs were covered in cuts both old and new. She didn't want Rachel standing in her underclothes for long so she put off counting all of them.

Santana did count 15 cuts; 5 on her stomach and 5 on each thigh, that she was pretty sure they were from today. The run that Rachel had went on wasn't a good thing. The fresh cuts were bright red. They looked raw and painful. She could see the swelling around them along with dried blood on her skin.

"These are from today, aren't they?" She asked gently.

Rachel only nodded.

It was then Santana noticed something looked wrong. She leaned down and took a closer look at one cut placed a little higher on Rachel's stomach. It looked a few days old but it was red around the edges and looked a funny color. She carefully touched around the cut and Rachel let out a hiss and pulled away. The cut was warm under Santana's fingers.

"Shit. Ok Rachel, you can put the robe back on now."

Rachel didn't need to be told twice and quickly had the robe around herself and sat back onto the bed. Her eyes were still closed.

Santana turned looked at Quinn.

The blonde had silent tears rolling down her cheeks and her hand was still placed firmly over her mouth to muffle any sounds. She looked terrified.

"Hey Rachel" Santana said turning to look at her "Why don't you go take a shower? I want you to clean them very well with anti-bacterial soap. Don't dry them when you're done. Dry around them but don't touch the cuts. Don't put anything on them either, I'm going to do it instead. Alright?"

Rachel nodded and quickly walked to her bathroom, refusing to make eye contact with either girl.

Santana walked over to her best friend and immediately pulled her into her arms.

Quinn didn't hesitate to press her face into Santana's neck as the sob ripped from her throat. The tears were pouring out now.

Santana rubbed slow circles over the blonde's back as she made quiet hushing noises.

It took a few minutes until Quinn was able to calm herself enough to speak. "What are.. We going.. To do?" She managed to choke out.

"I'm not sure yet. I'm making this up as I go and based on what I would have wanted had I told or someone found out."

"Why didn't you?"

"Tell someone you mean?" She felt Quinn nod against her neck. "Because I was ashamed of it. It's not really something to be proud of. I did everything I could to hide it. Honestly, I'm shocked Rachel is letting us in. But the fact that she is, means that she knows she needs help. She may not realize it and she might not even be ready to stop, but she is reaching out. We need to be here to help her. She's never had friends or anyone else to help her really. Hell, her own fathers left her. She's got to feel like shit Quinn."

Quinn pulled back enough to look at Santana. "That's our fault. The fact that she's never had anyone."

"I know. And I hate that we've done that to her, but we're here now. Things are going to change, ok?"

"Ok." Quinn took a shaky breath to steady herself and wiped her cheeks.

They heard the shower turn off.

"I'm going to grab some things from my bag, why don't you take her some underclothes and have her put the robe back on."

Quinn found a pair of underwear and a sports bra for Rachel in her drawers and lightly knocked on the door. "Rach, it's me. I have fresh clothes for you to put on but Santana wants you to stay in your robe for a bit longer."

"You can come in if you want."

Quinn hesitated for a moment before she opened the door and went in. Rachel was sitting on the toilet wrapped in a towel playing with the edge.

"I'm sorry, Quinn."

"For what?"

"For putting you through all of this. It's not fair that you should have to deal with my fucked up life."

"Stop right there." Quinn knelt down in front of her girl and took her hands in her own. "You have nothing to be sorry for. You need someone to be there. You can't do this alone. Please, let us help you. I know it's Santana and I's fault that you have no friends or anyone for that matter. I should be the one apologizing to you."

"I told you I've already forgiven you for our past."

"I know you've said that, but Rachel, have you really forgiven me or are you just saying that?"

Rachel's eyes flickered away from Quinn's. That was enough of an answer.

"I thought so. I understand that you haven't forgiven me and that's ok. I've been a bitch to you our entire lives. I honestly don't blame you for not forgiving me. I probably wouldn't either."

"I don't like it though. You're my girlfriend and I hate that I'm mad at you about this. I want to forgive you, but it's hard." Rachel let a few tears slip out when she blinked.

Quinn reached up and cupped Rachel's cheek. "I know sweetie. But let me show you that I've changed and this isn't some sick joke at your expense. Let me make it up to you. Let me show you how much I really do care."

"But that's not fair to you. I should believe you that things are different now. But.. I don't know."

"Remember last night when we agreed to take things slow?"

Rachel nodded.

"Ok, learning to trust each other is part of that. Probably the biggest and most important part actually. We'll work on this. Together."

"Ok. I.. I would like that. But what about you?"

"What about me?" Now she was confused.

"It's not fair to you to have to try and fix me when I know you're having problems as well. You just got kicked out, again, and now my dads have custody over you and you're living here and dating me and Santana's here and-" Quinn momentarily silenced Rachel's rant with a kiss. As soon as she pulled away Rachel continued. "It's a big change and I know it's bothering you. You need help too. This can't be all about me Quinn."

Quinn didn't want to tell Rachel that she was so close to falling apart. That she was teetering on the edge and about to fall off. But she couldn't add more to Rachel's plate right now. "I know. I-" She was interrupted by a knock on the door. She had never been so grateful for Santana's impeccable timing considering that she really didn't want to reply.

"Are you two coming out of there sometime tonight?"

"We'll be out in a second S. Here Rach, put these on and come out, ok?" Quinn handed her the clothes and slipped out of the bathroom.

"You ok Q?"

"I'm.. Just.. Yea. Fine." She plopped down on the bed and looked anywhere but at Santana.

* * *

Rachel walked out of the bathroom still clad in her robe.

"Come here and open up Rachel."

Rachel obeyed and walked closer to Santana letting her robe fall open.

Santana knelt down on the floor and upended the bag that was sitting next to her. Ointments, creams, bandages, gauze, butterfly bandages, tape, peroxide, and a few other things tumbled out.

"Damn S, where did you get all that stuff that fast?"

"It's mine. I brought it with my stuff. I figured it might come in handy at some point. Alright Rachel, this might sting a little." Santana used a cotton ball and spread the peroxide over the cuts. She blew gently over them to help ease the sting with each swipe. Rachel winced when she hit the one that was starting to become infected. She then added a few butterfly bandages to the deeper cuts to help hold them closed. She also a layer of ointment before wrapping Rachel's thighs in gauze and taping it. Moving to the girls stomach, she put a different cream on the infected cut. "This one needs to be watched closely. It's not that bad right now, but if it gets too much worse, you need to see a doctor for some antibiotics." She wrapped Rachel's stomach in gauze as well.

Santana picked up a bottle of orange liquid and stood up. "Give me your arms. This will help the scars fade and be less noticeable. This is what I used and it did wonders. Put it on twice a day but only on the healed cuts."

Rachel nodded and held out her arms as she let Santana rub the oil on them.

"Alright, done. Go put some clothes on and relax for a while. I'm going to go find something to make for dinner." Santana said as she shoved the supplies back into her bag except for the oil, which she handed to Rachel, and left the room.

Quinn watched as Rachel pulled on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. She felt so lost an helpless. She didn't know what she was supposed to do to help Rachel and make her better. Hell, she was scared to talk to her because she afraid of saying something wrong.

She was brought out of her thoughts when Rachel's hand appeared in front of her. She looked at her diva and gave her a small smile. Taking the offered hand, she stood up.

Rachel immediately wrapped her arms around Quinn and pulled her close, placing her head on Quinn's chest.

Quinn could feel Rachel taking deep breaths as she held on. For some reason, being in Rachel's arms and having the girl pressed into her brought a sense of relief. She could feel both of their bodies relaxing in the embrace.

Rachel pulled away and both girls missed the close contact. Rachel took Quinn's hand in her own, lacing their fingers together, and lead her downstairs to the kitchen.

The rest of the night passed quietly. Santana watched both girls closely. Rachel was quiet but actually seemed to be more relaxed then she had been lately. Quinn on the other hand, looked like she was holding back tears. The pain in her eyes was evident. She knew it was only a matter of time before Quinn actually broke down. She was hoping that the blonde didn't wait too long.

* * *

**A/N: Ok, Quinn's breakdown will be the next chapter and I already know what I'm using to set it off. I'm going to try and add a little more Brittany in the next one as well. **

**Question time:**

**1. Do you like the pace this is going? Want it faster, slower, for me to jump ahead?**

**2. Do you want Kurt to transfer or to stick around?**

**3. How soon do you want the Berry men back? Timeline wise it's getting close to the holidays, so yay or nah for them being there for that?**

**4. What else do you want to see in the story? I already have the epilogue written in my head so I know where this is going to end but I haven't decided how to get there yet.**

**Thanks ahead of time for the replies! Also, thanks for all the reviews/favorites/alerts. I get giddy and happy when I see them in my e-mail and it just makes me want to update faster! **


	43. Disowned

_Disowned_

The three girls made their way into school the next morning and found a happy blonde waiting for them at the doors.

"Hey San, Q, Rachel! Hey Rachel, do you think you could take me to dance class today? My car was making a funny noise and my parents are taking it to the car doctor to make it feel better."

"Yea, sure Brittany. It's not a problem. I brought my car and Quinn and Santana drove separate so we can leave right after school." Rachel answered her after comprehending what the blonde had said.

"Wait, hold up? You two dance together?" Santana was now confused

"Of course we do silly!" Brittany smiled at her.

"How come I didn't know about this?" Santana looked between the two girls.

Rachel decided to fill her in. "We never told anyone. We've been in the same class since we were three. I knew you didn't like me and I couldn't fathom what you would do if you found out we were in the same dance school, let alone the same class. We kept it between us, but we never really spoke in class. I didn't want you to find out so I stayed away from Brittany."

"Oh. Ok. Well, that all obviously changes now. It's cool if you two are friends you know."

"Yay!" Brittany squealed and yanked Rachel in for a hug.

The diva winced in pain but allowed Brittany to practically smother her anyway.

When Brittany finally let go, she linked pinkies with Santana as they made their way inside.

Quinn took Rachel's hand as they followed the pair in front of them.

The day managed to go without any problems. Mainly because the entire student body was too scared to even look in the direction of the four girls. Plus, Karofsky was sporting a swollen nose and a black eye which only added to the fear.

* * *

After the last bell, Rachel and Brittany left for dance in Rachel's Jeep while Santana and Quinn stayed behind for close to an hour to work on things for Cheerios before taking Santana's car home.

When the pair pulled into the driveway, they noticed boxes on the front porch. There was a total of 6 boxes and taped to the first box was an envelope addressed to Quinn.

With shaky hands, Quinn removed the letter, took a deep breath, and opened it.

Santana watched as hurt and pain made itself known over the blonde's face before her features turned stoic and showed nothing.

Quinn shoved the letter into Santana's hands and walked inside.

The Latin was torn between reading the letter or following her best friend. She decided to find the blonde first and read later.

Quinn was sitting on the couch in the living room staring blankly at the wall.

Santana noticed she looked completely broken. Sitting next to her on the couch, she read..

_Quinn,_

_Here are the rest of your things. I didn't know if you wanted them or not, but I decided to send them anyway and you can do as you please with them._

_I'm sure you know by now that the Berry's have custody of you. Their lawyer was threatening to take us to court for child abuse if we didn't sign the papers. I hope you're happy about that. You really shouldn't be telling lies, Quinn. It's a sin. _

_You also have no right to be mad that I took your father back. It was my decision and only mine. He is my husband no matter if you like it or not. You don't get any say in it._

_Enjoy your new life of sin with those gay men and their abomination of a daughter. I ask that you never set foot in my house and do not speak to me or Russell. From this point on, you are no longer our daughter or part of our family._

_Judy_

Santana set the letter down and looked at Quinn. "Q, I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. Why should I care?"

"Because they're your parents."

"Don't call them that. They have never been my parents. Hell, the Berry's have been better parents to me in the few days I've lived here then they ever were."

Quinn was speaking in a calm and quiet way and it was making Santana nervous.

"Quinn-"

"What does it feel like Santana?"

"What does what feel like?"

"Cutting. What does it feel like?"

"Q, are you thinking about cutting?"

"Yes.. No.. I don't know. Maybe."

"I'm not going to lie to you, Quinn. It feels exhilarating. It feels like a high but without the drugs. It feels like having control over something. It's a release. But, trust me when I say don't. It's not worth it. As much of a release it is, it doesn't fix anything. It just makes everything worse because you're not dealing with you're problems but instead making yourself bleed to try and cope. It feels like it's helping for a while, but soon you'll feel like you have to cut deeper to get the same release and high. It's a bitch when you want to stop. It's really fucking hard. I cut many times after I told myself I was done with it. Hell, just look at what Rachel is going through with it. She's got one infected cut and the ones from yesterday were pretty deep. She's already going deeper then I ever did and that scares me. I don't want you to have to go through this as well."

"Thanks San. I'm going upstairs to lay down."

"Quinn-"

Santana grabbed Quinn's arm when she stood but Quinn pulled away at the contact and walked out of the room. She didn't feel the same warmth and comfort from Santana as she did with Rachel.

"Crap. Rachel you better get your ass home soon." Santana said to the empty living room. She sighed and made her way outside to bring the boxes in before heading to the kitchen to find something to cook for dinner.

* * *

A few hours later, Rachel made her way in. She was confused to why there were boxes stacked in the foyer of her house. She heard movement coming from the kitchen where she found Santana putting something in the oven.

"Hey Santana, what's with the boxes? And where's Quinn?"

"Lets go to the living room, we need to talk."

"Ok. Should I be worried?"

"I'm not sure honestly. Come on."

The girls sat down on the couch and Santana handed Rachel the letter that was still sitting on the table where she left it.

"So this explains the boxes I'm guessing?" Rachel asked when she finished reading.

"Yea. Quinn has been upstairs for a while now."

"I'm going to go check on her."

"Wait, I need to tell you something first."

"Ok?""I'm not sure if I'm supposed to or not-"

"Well if you're not sure maybe you shouldn't tell me. I'll just go upstairs."

"No. She never said not to tell you and you need to know. She asked me what it felt like to cut."

"What did you tell her?"

"The truth. That it's a release and feels like control. But I also told her that it wasn't worth it. That it's so hard to stop." She chose to leave out the parts where she had talked about Rachel though.

"Oh."

"Yea. I wasn't sure what to say but I didn't want to lie to her."

"I understand."

"She pulled away from me when I touched her and tried to stop her from walking away. She's so broken and I don't know what to do about it. She won't talk to me and I think she's in a lot of pain but won't let it out. She cried last night after you went into the bathroom. She doesn't know how to help you and she's scared."

"She blames herself for what's happened to me. She blames my cutting on herself. I told her last night that I wasn't completely ready to forgive her for our past. I feel so guilty about it."

"You shouldn't feel guilty. You can't forgive someone until you're ready to. But at least you're letting her in and trying."

"This all sucks so much Santana."

"I know. Believe me, I know. I'm trying to figure out what to do with both of you."

"Just focus on Quinn for now. Don't worry about me."

"That's not gunna happen. You're stuck with me."

Rachel gave her best smile "I'm fine Santana."

Santana could tell that it was a fake, but decided to let it go for now. "Go talk to Quinn. Dinner will be done in about an hour."

Rachel nodded, but leaned into Santana's chest and took a few deep breaths.

Santana pulled Rachel into her arms and rocked her gently.

Upstairs, Rachel found Quinn curled into a ball on the bed. She laid down behind the blonde and placed a gentle hand on her side.

Comfort immediately flowed through Quinn's body from where the hand was resting.. She immediately turned and pressed her face into the crook of Rachel's neck. She breathed in the brunette's smell, letting it wash over her and flood her senses. She didn't bother to try and stop the tears from pouring out. A sob immediately followed.

Rachel wrapped her arms around the shaking blonde and started to pull Quinn on top of herself. Quinn's took the hint and moved onto Rachel. She fisted Rachel's shirt into her hands and re-buried her face into her neck. Rachel placed one hand on Quinn's back and used the other to lightly run her fingers through the blonde's hair, gently massaging her scalp as she went.

"I've got you Quinn. I'm right here. I won't let go." Rachel gently cooed into Quinn's ear.

Quinn continued to sob for a half hour as her body shook violently and was showing no signs of stopping. Rachel began to softly hum anything that came to mind in hopes to calm the girl.

It took another 15 minutes for Quinn's sobs to subside, but she still continued to cry.

Rachel had to ask the main question on her mind. "Quinn, did you cut?"

"No.. I.. I tried. I couldn't." Quinn managed to get out.

"Good. I'm glad. Please, Quinn. Please don't start to."

"But you did."

"I know. Believe me, I know. But this is you we're talking about, not me. So talk."

"I don't know what to say."

"Doesn't matter. Just say what you feel."

"I just.. I can't believe that she doesn't care. She said that things were going to try when I moved back in, but that never happened. Things never changed. And the letter just hurt so much. It proves that she doesn't care or love me. I have no family. I have no one. I thought that maybe there was still a chance and that they would change their minds and everything would be ok. But now it's never going to happen. Everything is ruined." Another sob escaped.

"Hey, that's not true. You have me and Santana and now my dads. I know that they're not here, but you still have them. If they didn't care, they wouldn't have taken you in. I'm not going anywhere Quinn. And I don't think Santana is either. Can I ask, why did you pull away from her earlier? She told me what happened."

"Because…. Because she's not you. It didn't feel right. Your touch is like comfort and warmth to me. Hers just isn't that way. I just feel safe with you."

"Wow."

"Yea."

"Well, it's the same for me, too."

"Really?"

"Yes." Rachel could tell that Quinn didn't want to continue the conversation so she decided to change it. "Listen, why don't we go see if dinner is ready before Santana burns the house down. If you want to talk more later we can, but if not that's fine as well. Talk to me when you're ready to, ok?"

"Yea, ok."

Quinn rolled off of Rachel who stood up and offered Quinn her hand. Quinn took it and allowed herself to be pulled to the bathroom. Rachel carefully wiped the blonde's face with a cool cloth. Quinn realized how nice it was to have someone who genially cared for her and allowed herself to be taken care of.

* * *

Later that night, the three girls were curled up in Rachel's bed. Quinn was in the middle of the two brunettes. Santana was pressed into Quinn's back with her arm was around her from behind while Rachel and Quinn's fronts where together. Rachel's arm draped over both girls.

Rachel laid awake listening to the light breathing of the two sleeping girls as her thoughts raced. She felt guilty. She felt that Quinn's situation was her fault. It was her fault that Quinn was kicked out and disowned by her family. Her dads not being around was her fault. Everything was because of her. Rachel told herself that nothing would be about her anymore. She was going to close herself off in attempt to help Quinn. She would no longer talk to the two girls about what was bothering her. The cutting wasn't going to stop, but she was going to make it seem like it had. Yes, things were going to change, even if it killed her in the process.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry this took so long. Writers block is making itself known again. This chapter is shorter then I wanted. It was supposed to contain Thursday and Friday as well, but I wanted to get something posted today. I'll try to get then next out as soon as I can. Work will be taking over my life this coming week so no promises when it will be coming, but I will make every attempt to have at least one chapter posted.**


	44. Glee!

**A/N: Sorry this has taken forever. I'm basically living at work right now and I've got major writers block. I promise I'll try harder to update faster and come up with better chapters! This one is more of a filler then anything and will cover a large amount of time. I decided to not actually write sectionals but still have it included in some way. Also, for the song, **_This is Rachel, _**This is Quinn, **_**And this is both.**_

_Glee!_

Thursday and Friday came and went without any problems. Quinn continued to stay quite while home, but at school she kept her HBIC attitude and spunk. From the outside, no one would be able to guess something was wrong.

Rachel was taking her plan to heart. She was slowly becoming her loud, talkative self. She knew if the change was instantaneous that Quinn or Santana would suspect something was up and it would destroy everything she had her mind set on.

They girls decided that they would be going back to Glee on Friday. Rachel had a song already planned in her mind to sing to Quinn. The club hadn't been given an assignment for the week, but that wouldn't have stopped Rachel anyway.

The girls now found themselves standing outside of the choir room door. They were the last to arrive, and even Mr. Schue was already there. "I've got your backs no matter what the cost." Santana told them in a deadly serious simply nodded, took a few deep breaths, and walked inside with Santana close behind them. The room went silent as they entered. Santana smirked. Mercedes broke the silence "Told ya'll she'd come crawling back.""Zip it, Beyonce." Santana sneered. "The rules still apply to all of you regardless of the fact it's Glee. You will treat both Quinn and Rachel with respect. If you have nothing nice to say then keep your trap shut. No one wants to hear the comments. If you can't, you'll be getting daily slushie baths. Am I clear?"

The rest of the club silently nodded, too afraid to say anything.

"Good."

The three girls made their way to the top of the risers and sat with Brittany.

"Humm. Ok then. Welcome back Rachel and Quinn. Since there was no assignment this week, does anyone have anything they want to sing?" Mr. Schue asked.

Rachel's hand shot into the air.

"Of course she does." Kurt mumbled.

"Shut it." Quinn sneered at him.

"Alright Rachel, the floor is yours." Schue told her, afraid of what Santana or Quinn would do to him if her said anything more or told the girl no.

"Thank you." Rachel told him politely as she took her place in the front of the room. "This song is self explanatory." She nodded to the band to begin and her voice softly started to fill the room.

_It's like a storm  
That cuts a path  
It breaks your will  
It feels like that  
You think you're lost  
But you're not lost on your own,  
You're not alone _

_I will stand by you,  
I will help you through  
When you've done all you can do  
And you can't cope  
I will dry your eyes,  
I will fight your fight  
I will hold you tight  
And I won't let go_

Quinn recognized the song and quickly made her way to the front of the room as Rachel finished the chorus so she could join Rachel and sing it back to her as well.

**It hurts my heart  
To see you cry  
I know its dark this part of life  
Oh it find us all and we're to small  
To stop the rain  
Oh but when it rains**

**I will stand by you,  
I will help you through  
When you've done all you can do  
And you can't cope  
I will dry your eyes,  
I will fight your fight  
I will hold you tight  
And I won't let you fall**

_Don't be afraid to fall  
I'm right here to catch you  
I won't let you down  
It won't get you down  
You're gonna make it  
I know you can make it_

_**Cause I will stand by you,  
I will help you through  
When you've done all you can do  
And you can't cope  
I will dry your eyes,  
I will fight your fight  
I will hold you tight  
And I won't let go**_

_**Oh I'm gonna hold you  
And I won't let go  
Won't let you go  
No I won't**_

When the song ended, the girls pulled each other into a tight hug. The reaction among the club was mixed. Finn was scowling. Santana and Brittany were smiling. Kurt and Mercedes rolled their eyes and scoffed, which earned them a growl from Santana. The rest of the club looked on with indifference.

Schue's mouth was open. It took him a few seconds to recover before he spoke. "Girls, that was incredible. Your chemistry towards each other and how the song came off was perfect. Would you two like to sing that for sectionals?"

"Oh hell no Mr. Schue! That's not fair! They left us hanging and now that they're back you're just going to give them a duet? This is crap!" Mercedes cut in before Quinn or Rachel could answer.

"Shut up Mercedes. They damn well deserve the duet and everyone in here knows it. Rachel holds this club together. Things went to hell when she was gone. And Quinn was the only one who stood up for Rachel when the rest of you continued to make her life hell. So yes, they both deserve this. You're just jealous!" Santana actually growled as she spoke.

"She's right. I'm sorry if you don't feel that way, but I do and it's my decision. Also, Santana will be getting the solo. She's shown huge improvement in her singing lately, and I think she should be rewarded for it."

Brittany squealed and wrapped her arms around a shocked Santana while Rachel and Quinn quickly made their way back to their seats to congratulate the speechless Latina.

"Alright guys, I think we've had enough fun for the day. You're free to go. Have a nice weekend." Schue told them before walking out of the room.

"Hey Britt, why don't you come to my house for the night to celebrate?" Rachel told the taller blonde.

"Ok, but is San coming too?" She asked.

"You haven't told her?" Rachel asked looking at Santana.

"No, I didn't know if you wanted me to so I didn't say anything. I've been staying at Rachel's house, B."

"Why?"

"Because my dads are out of town and she didn't want Quinn and I to be alone." Rachel answered for her.

"Oh, ok. Well lets go then!" Brittany bounced in her seat.

* * *

Over the next couple of weeks, Brittany became a familiar sight around the Berry house.

Rachel had lit the Hanukkah candles and said the prayers like she did every year. She had decided to not make a big deal out of it since she was the only Jewish one and her dads weren't home.

The four girls did decorate the Berry house for Christmas. It had been Rachel's idea for Quinn to have at least some type of normal Christmas holiday. Rachel actually celebrated both with her fathers growing up, so it wasn't an issue for her.

Quinn was becoming more open with the other three girls and was now talking to one of them, (usually Rachel) when something was bothering her or she was feeling down. She had admitted to feeling unloved by her parents and how much it hurt her. She was adjusting to her three best friends becoming her family now.

Rachel was continuing her act of being ok. Anytime she was asked how she was doing, she easily lied and said that she was doing just fine and plastered on a smile. She continued to make "progress" but she was pulling into herself more and more. She told herself that by doing this, she was helping Quinn, and that was all that mattered. She didn't care that it was killing her inside. She was still cutting and had added another 30 cuts to her stomach and thighs. She hid those areas of her body from the girls, but did wear t-shirts and tank tops around the house when Brittany wasn't around to show that there were no new cuts on her arms. The old ones had faded and were now thin, light colored lines, thanks to the oil Santana had given her. The cut on her stomach that was becoming infected did not become worse. The ointment had worked and it was now healed over. She was relieved that she wouldn't have to get it looked at and vowed to be more careful to avoid the situation in the future.

Santana had her doubts about the way Rachel was acting, but she decided that Rachel would come to one of them when she needed to and decided to let it go.

Sectionals had come and gone, and the Glee Club had managed to take first place thanks to Rachel, Quinn, and Santana.

* * *

It was now December 17th, the last day of school before the holidays, and the day before Rachel's birthday. The Berry men had yet to be heard from since the phone call about Quinn's custody arrangement.

That was all about to change due to the text message Rachel would receive after school that day.

**A/N: Song: I Won't Let Go by Rascal Flatts**


	45. Finn Shows Up

_Finn Shows Up_

Friday evening found the four girls lounging in the Berry living room. Quinn and Rachel were stretched out on the couch, Quinn against the arm rest with Rachel leaning back on her, while Santana and Brittany were cuddled on the love seat as RENT played on the television. The movie had been Santana's choice oddly enough. She had claimed she'd never seen it or heard any of the music, but Rachel was starting to doubt that considering the Latina was currently lip-syncing the words to "Today 4 U." However, for her own safety, Rachel was not going to point out that tiny little detail.

The beep of Rachel's phone indicating a text brought her back into her mind. She leaned over to grab her phone from the table, almost losing her balance in the process. Lucky, Quinn had a hold of the diva's hips and managed to keep her from falling off.

"Gee Rach, if you wanted to get away from me that badly you should have said something." Quinn giggled as she spoke.

Rachel turned and gave Quinn her best glare. It faltered as soon as Quinn leaned up and placed a quick kiss to the full lips in front of her.

Santana fake gagged at the sight. "Will you two get a room."

Rachel's glare returned and was directed to Santana this time. "Well, seeing as this is our house, we can do as we please, in any room that we choose."

"Whatever Berry. Stop talking or I'll make you stop. You're ruining the movie."

Rachel opened her mouth to retort but was cut off by Quinn's hand clamping over it instead. The glare once again returned towards Quinn as Rachel licked the hand still over her mouth causing Quinn to pull away.

"How rude." Rachel huffed.

"I'm sorry, baby. I just didn't want Santana to hurt you." Quinn smiled, shrugged, then leaned in for another kiss but Rachel turned her head and reclaimed her position against Quinn.

"I can feel you pouting, Quinn. You're being mean so no kisses for you." Rachel smirked.

"Berry, one more word and I'm coming over there." Santana told her without taking her eyes off the screen.

"But S, how can you come over there if we're over-" Brittany was cut off by Santana's hand this time.

"Not like that B. Just watch the movie, ok?"

Brittany nodded against the hand, gaining her release.

Rachel suppressed a giggle before unlocking her phone and finding a new message from her dad. "We'll be home in the morning. We'll talk details then." She knew what it meant, but it didn't make it hurt any less. It didn't matter that tomorrow was her birthday. Actually, she was shocked that they would even be home at all. "Don't hold your breath" She told herself. She figured they would maybe be home for a few hours before leaving again. She quickly swallowed down the hurt and tears that were beginning to rise and tossed her phone onto the table and snuggled closer to the blonde behind her.

"Who was it, Rach?"

"Dad. They'll be back in the morning."

"Good. I'm glad they'll be here for your birthday, babe." Quinn placed a kiss to the side of the brunette's head and wrapped her arms around the tiny body.

A single tear escaped from Rachel's eye. Silently, she hoped one of the girls would notice.

* * *

A half hour passed as the girls continued to watch the movie, but were interrupted by the doorbell. Rachel reluctantly pulled herself out of Quinn's embrace and made her way to the door. Who she found on the other side was probably one of the last people she expected to see.

"What are you doing here, Finn?"

"I've come to take you back."

"Excuse me?"

"I want us to be together again."

"No."

"But, Rachel, we're meant to be together. We're Finchel. I love you and I know you love me too."

"You're wrong. I actually don't think I loved you that way. I think I loved the idea of you, but not you. Plus, you cheated on me. And you slept with Santana and lied to me about it for months."

"But you're not mad at Santana for that."

"That's because she and I weren't friends at that time and she never actually lied to me about it anyway. Plus, she's the one who told me since you didn't have the guts to."

"Come on Rach, give me another chance. Give us another chance." With that, Finn grabbed a hold of Rachel's shoulders and pushed his lips against hers.

Rachel struggled against his grip, which Finn mistook as her getting into the kiss, and pulled her closer to him.

Finn heard a soft footstep and opened his eyes to see Quinn with tears running down her cheeks. He smirked and pushed harder against Rachel as Quinn ran back into the living room. He then forced his tongue between Rachel's lips and into her mouth.

Rachel saw this as a way out and bit down, hard, on Finn's tongue. He quickly pulled away.

"What the hell? That hurt!"

"No shit! That was the point! I don't want you Finn! What don't you get? I'm with Quinn!"

"You're going to pick her over me? She's just going to cheat on you!"

"No Finn, that's you, not her."

"But she cheated on me and she's just going to do that to you too! She's just a stupid slut who's using you!"

A slap echoed through the foyer as Rachel's hand connected with Finn's face.

"You will not talk about Quinn that way! Get the fuck out of my house! You're not welcome here! If you come anywhere near myself or Quinn, actually, Santana or Brittany as well, you'll wish you were never born! And that's a promise." Rachel growled at him. She then used all her strength to kick him in the groin and then shove him out the door before slamming it in his face.

Rachel took a few deep breaths to steady herself before making her way back to the living room. She was shocked to see Quinn in tears and Santana and Brittany on either side of the blonde trying to comfort her.

"Quinn? What's wrong?" Rachel quickly knelt down in front of her girlfriend.

"Don't t-t-touch me. I s-s-saw you two."

"Saw? Oh Quinn, it's not what you think. Let me explain sweetie."

"No! I don't want to hear it! Screw you, Rachel!" Quinn yelled this time and ripped herself away from the girls and ran up the stairs.

"Whatever the fuck you just did, you better fix it manhands!" Santana sneered at her before following Quinn's path up the stairs.

Rachel sat with her eyes closed as she let out shaky breaths.

"Rachel? What happened?" Brittany asked her.

She had forgotten that Brittany was even still in the room with her. "I.. Finn.. Quinn saw… Fuck!" was all she managed to get out.

"I'm confused."

"Forget about it. You may as well go follow Quinn and Santana since I know you're going to take her side anyway." Rachel was angry and hurt and felt herself starting to fall apart. She wasn't going to let anyone see her this way. She quickly turned of the television before heading straight upstairs to her room. Seeing that her room was empty, she knew Quinn and Santana were in the other bedroom. She walked straight to her bathroom, locking the door behind her.

**A/N: Please forgive me for my lack of updates! Work is killing me right now. The next chapter is already written in my head so I just need to type it up at this point. It should be up within the next few days. I plan on starting it now.**


	46. Brittany Seeks The Truth

_She walked straight to her bathroom, locking the door behind her._

_

* * *

_

_Brittany Seeks The Truth_

Rachel stood in front of her mirror as her reflection stared back at her. She picked up a washcloth and wiped away the her make-up. The dark circles under her eyes became more noticeable with ever swipe. Cover-up under her eyes was a constant thing now. She even slept with it on in hopes that they stayed hidden. She hadn't slept more then a few hours a night for the past week. Nightmares haunted her ever time her eyes shut.

Next, she pulled her shirt off. She focused again on herself in the mirror. She looked at her breasts in the reflection. She had always been self-conscious of their size. She knew she didn't have the smallest chest, but she still felt inadequate compared to most other girls.

She noticed her clavicle was sunken in. Her fingers traced down her sides. Her ribs were sticking out and she could count every one of them. The truth was, she hadn't been eating much lately. She usually just pushed her food around, occasionally taking a bite. Just enough to erase any suspicion. She noticed her hips bones were prominent. They had always stuck out, but never this much. She stomach was also sunken in. She still saw herself as fat. The years of insults and pokes about her weight rang in her mind. She told herself that maybe if she was skinny enough, people would like her.

Eyeing the cuts across her stomach was next. They ran in every direction and some criss-crossed each other. Some were simply thin, white lines, while others were fresh and bright red. They were deep, but not the deepest she had done.

Her sweat pants came off next. This was where the deepest cuts were hidden. She was sure many of them could have used stitches, but she did her best with butterfly bandages to avoid this. She refused to get them stitched up. There would be too many questions and her secret would be found out. On her thighs she had opened up old cuts. She had been running out of space and didn't want to go any lower on her legs. She knew it would be too hard to hide if she did.

She was angry at herself. She was angry that Quinn refused to let her explain what happened. She had given Quinn more chances then she deserved, but Quinn wouldn't even give her this one chance to tell her the truth and make things right between them.

She was hurt that Quinn just walked away.

Hurt that Santana had yelled at her. She knew who Santana's loyalties were with, and she knew that Santana would always take Quinn's side regardless, but it didn't help to ease the hurt she felt.

Rachel began to think that maybe she didn't deserve another chance. That maybe she was better off alone. Without anyone around that she could hurt and cause them pain. Maybe, just maybe she shouldn't have anyone in her life. Hell, maybe she didn't even deserve to live at this point. All she seemed to do was leave destruction wherever she went.

Reaching into the vanity drawer, she pulled out a razor. The shiny metal felt cool against the warm, flushed skin of her hand. She gently traced the blade with the tip of her pointer finger. For over a month now, the blades had become her saviors. They were there when she felt like life was too much for her. When life became more then she could take and needed an escape.

If she was being honest, she would admit how much she hated the fact she was relying more and more on cutting herself. That she was marking her once flawless skin. Sure, scars fade over time, but they never completely go away. They were always going to be there to remind her of what a failure she was.

Carefully picking the blade up with her right hand, she gently set the sharp edge against her hip. She took a deep breath before gently ghosting the blade over the fresh patch of skin. The cut wasn't deep by any means, more of just a scratch really, but instead of the relief she usually felt and was so desperately craving, she felt pain. It hurt and stung this time. She winced at the pain and let out a small whimper.

Frustrated, she tried again. It eared her the same result as the last.

It wasn't supposed to feel like this. It was supposed to feel good and right, not painful and wrong.

Her frustrations continued to grow.

She flung the blade across the bathroom with as much force as she could muster in her tiny body.

It was more then she expected when the razor didn't simply bounce off the wall and fall to the floor. Instead, the blade stuck straight into the wall. Almost if it was taunting her. Telling her that she was so weak that she couldn't even take a little bit of pain. That she wasn't good enough. That she didn't deserve to feel better.

Needing to get out of the small room that was feeling as if it was getting smaller ever second, she quickly pulled her clothes back on and ripped the door open. She made a beeline for her empty bed and pulled the blankets over herself as she shut her eyes. Her bed felt empty. She was so used to having either Quinn or Santana, or sometimes both, in bed with her.

She was so lost in her thoughts and mind that she didn't notice her door open and close and a figure make it's way to the bed. She only noticed she wasn't alone when she felt the bed dip behind her and a warm body slide under the blankets and wrap an arm around her waist, pulling her close.

She silently hoped that it was Quinn behind her.

* * *

After Rachel had walked out of the living room, leaving a confused Brittany behind, the blonde realized that Rachel wasn't mad at her, but just frustrated and hurt. She knew she wasn't the smartest person, but she was well aware of her ability to read people and see what others missed.

Making her way upstairs and to the spare room, Brittany found the two Cheerios on the bed. Santana was holding onto a crying Quinn, attempting to get her to relax and talk.

"What happened?" Brittany asked as she sat on the bed.

"She.. She.. Kissed him." Quinn sputtered out.

"Kissed who, Q?" Santana asked, still confused.

"Finn. He was at.. The door… I saw them kissing."

"I'm gunna kick her midget ass." Santana sneered.

"Wait. Maybe she didn't mean to. Maybe it was an accident."

"How can you accidentally kiss someone, B?"

"I don't know San, but I don't think Rachel would do that. She looked upset when you guys left."

"She has no right to be upset. It's her own fault. "Quinn yelled this time.

"Guys, it's Finn. He's not the nicest and would do anything to hurt their relationship because he's a jackass. I don't think this was her fault." Brittany calmly tried to explain. "We should do anything until we hear her side."

"Why, so she can just lie to me?" Quinn asked her.

"I don't think she would lie to you about this Quinn. I don't this she would mean to hurt you." Brittany placed a hand on Quinn's back only to have the blonde pull away.

"Why don't you go be with her then? You're supposed to be on my side Brittany! Just leave. Get out!" Quinn yelled again before collapsing back against Santana.

"She's right B, we should be on her side. Not the midget's."

"But San, I really don't think she-"

"Doesn't matter, Q's our girl first."

Brittany was torn between what to do. She wanted to help Quinn, but something in Rachel's eyes had told her she didn't intentionally do it.

She slipped off the bed saying something along the lines of "bathroom," but instead went to the tiny diva's room. She wanted to know the truth even if they didn't.

* * *

It only took a few seconds for Rachel to realize that it wasn't Quinn behind her, but rather another blonde.

"Rachel, what happened?" Brittany gently asked. She didn't want to scare Rachel or have the girl push her away. She was going to take her time and be gentle.

Rachel only shook her head in response.

"I know that you and Finn kissed." She felt Rachel immediately tense in her arms. "But, I don't think you wanted to. I want you to tell me what really happened. Please?"

Rachel was actually grateful that Brittany wanted to hear her out. Granted, she wasn't sure if it was just a joke or she was being truthful, but she just needed to explain to one of them what happened.

"He kissed me. He forced himself on me, actually. He had my shoulders and wouldn't let me go. He just kept pulling me closer. He shoved his tongue in my mouth so I bit it. Hard. It made him pull away and he got pissed. I told him that I was with Quinn and that I didn't want him. That I don't think I ever really loved him. He called Quinn a stupid slut Britt. He said that she's just using me and that she's just going to cheat on me like she did to him. I slapped him and told him to get out. I threatened him that if he ever goes near Quinn, Santana, or you he'd wish he was never born. I kicked him in the groin and shoved him out the door and slammed it on him. After I did, I took a second to calm down, I had no idea that Quinn had seen and I have no idea what she saw, and that was when I walked back into the living room. I had every intention on telling Quinn what had just happened. I wasn't going to lie and keep it from her. I couldn't hurt her like that. I just.. I couldn't do that to her." Rachel was crying by the time she finished. She felt horribly guilty. This was all her fault. It didn't matter that she tried to get away from him or that she didn't want it. It was all her fault.

She wasn't able to stop the sob from escaping her throat. She rolled over and pressed her head against Brittany's chest and let herself cry as Brittany's hands made small patterns across her back.

Brittany had no indentions on trying to stop Rachel's tears. She knew the girl needed to cry. She'd been able to see it for days now and it was finally coming out.

"I've got you Rachel. I'm here. Just let it out."

"I screwed… Up.. All my… Fault.."

"No, you did nothing wrong."

"But I.. Kissed him.."

"No, he kissed you and you did everything you could to get away. Then you stood up for Quinn. This is not your fault. This is only his."

"No.. I just… Screw everything up.. I don't deserve.." Rachel didn't finish her thought.

"Don't deserve what?"

"Nothing."

"No, stopping shutting me out. Talk."

"I can't. Ok? I can't."

"Rachel-"

"No. Stop. Please stop."

Rachel tried to turn and pull out of Brittany's grip but the strong blonde refuse to let her go.

"I'll stop. Just stay here. I'm not letting go. I'll stop asking. Ok?"

Rachel nodded again as she let the tears continue to flow and the sobs escape.

It took over and hour, but Rachel's cries finally faded as the girl cried herself to sleep out of exhaustion. Brittany's shirt was soaked in tears and snot but she refused to let go of the now sleeping diva in her arms.

Rachel was starting to breakdown and Brittany was scared for what was to come when she finally let go.

Rachel awoke to a quiet room around 9am. He entire body hurt from the force of her sobs from the night before. She rolled over in the bed only to find it empty and the tall blonde missing.

Yet again, she was alone.

**A/N: Ok. This chapter was actually going to be a lot longer and finish off the rest of the day. I've changed my mind because I haven't completely decided the details of what's going to happen. So, instead of ending this with a big cliffhanger like I had planned, I decided to be nice and not. The next chapter will explain where Brittany went, Rachel's dads being home, some more Shelby, and something major for Rachel. **


	47. Enough

_Enough_

It was 8am when Santana made her way into Rachel's room in search of Brittany. She was angry that she hadn't came back to Quinn's room last night, and wanted answers.

Finding the blonde in Rachel's bed, arms wrapped around the smaller girl, made Santana stalk over to the bed and wake her girlfriend.

"Wake up Brit. We're leaving. Come on."

Brittany yawned "Going where?"

"Leaving. Me, you, and Quinn. We're getting out of here before the midget wakes up."

"Be nice, S."

"No, not after what she did to Q."

Brittany didn't want to wake Rachel, so she gently pulled out of the girl's embrace and pulled Santana into the hallway, shutting the door behind her. "She didn't do anything, San. It wasn't her fault."

"Oh don't tell me she tried to pull her "I'm so innocent" crap with you."

"She is. Finn kissed her. She pushed him away."

Santana scuffed.

"And she hit and kicked him when he said bad stuff about Quinn. S, she really didn't do anything wrong."

"I still don't believe it, B. Come on. We're leaving now. Q doesn't want to be here so we're going to my house."

"I don't want to leave her alone, San."

"He dad's are coming back today. She won't be alone."

Brittany's gaze flickered between Rachel's closed door and her girlfriend trying to decided which option to choose.

"It'll be fine, Britt. I promise." Santana offered Brittany her hand with a smile, who, after hesitating for another few seconds, took it and followed Santana downstairs and out the door.

* * *

Rachel awoke at 9, realizing that she was alone. Touching the side of the bed that had contained the taller blonde and found it to be cold. She had been gone for a while. She released a sigh before slowly sitting up and getting out of bed. She had no idea when her dad's would be home, but she wanted to be ready for when they did, and, most importantly, the scars and cuts needed to be hidden. She still hadn't a clue if the others girls were still in the house or had left, but she figured a shower would do her some good before she, potentially, faced them.

Walking into her bathroom, Rachel's eyes immediately caught sight of the silver razor still stuck in the wall from her frustrations. She carefully extracted the blade from the wall and with a sigh, tossed it into the trash.

As she stripped off her clothes and bandages, she refused to allow herself to look into the mirror. She already knew she looked like hell and didn't really need to see it. The two cuts she had tried to make were only scratches and would be gone in a few days and wouldn't even scar.

* * *

After a long hot shower, Rachel bandaged the deeper cuts as a precaution. She really didn't need them to start bleeding with her dads around. She found a loose pair of jeans and long sleeved top to put on as well.

Picking her phone off the nightstand, she flipped it open to find one new message. It was from her dad. "Rachel, we'll be home in a half hour" was all it said. It had been sent 10 minutes ago. Shoving her phone into her pocket, she realized she needed to see if the other girls were still there.

Quinn's room was her first stop and she knocked gently on the door. When there was no response, she carefully pushed it open. The room was empty and the bed was unmade. She felt the tears already start to form in her eyes. She quickly swallowed them down, reminding herself that there was still other places to look, and they could simply be downstairs.

* * *

After a full search of the house, Rachel discovered it to be completely empty. She opened the front door and it was confirmed. The only cars in the driveway were hers

and Quinn's, Santana's was missing. She sighed as she shut the door and made her way to the couch. "Happy Birthday to me" she mumbled to herself as she pulled out her phone.

She pulled up a text message screen for Quinn "Where did you three go? Are you coming back soon? We really need to talk about last night. Please, you have to let me explain. I Love You." Hitting the send button, she closed her eyes and waited for a reply.

After 10 minutes, she still hadn't received a response. She typed out another message "Please talk to me Quinn. Please. I'm worried about you and where you are." She sent it as well, hoping that maybe she would get a response if Quinn knew she was worried about her.

The sound of a car outside pulled her from her thoughts and she quickly ran to the door and yanked it open. Instead of finding the three girls in the driveway, she saw her dads instead. She found herself disappointed that it wasn't Quinn, but was okay with the fact that at least she wasn't alone any longer.

When they made it to the door, her fathers pulled her into a tight hug and placed a kiss to the top of her head. "Happy Birthday, Rach" they both told her. She found herself smiling at the fact that they did actually remember what today was.

As they made their way inside, Rachel sent another message to Quinn "Please talk to me, Quinn. Please. I'm so sorry. Please answer me."

"Where's Quinn at, Rachel?" Hiram asked her.

Quickly thinking of a lie "She's with Santana and Brittany. She wanted to give us some time alone together." She hoped they would believe her.

"Oh, ok then. Well, hopefully we'll see her before we leave later."

"Leave later?"

"Yes. We can only stay for a few hours today. We're leaving for France tonight." Leroy told her this time.

"Oh. For how long?"

"Not sure. At least a month." He shrugged like it was no big deal. "We figured with Quinn living here you would be okay with it since someone else would be in the house with you."

"Yes, I'm fine with it. At least Quinn will be here." Rachel forced herself to smile even though she could feel her heart breaking in her chest. She was right, they were going to leave her again.

* * *

The Berry men stayed for a total of four hours before saying it was time for them to leave.

They had given Rachel a few gifts for her birthday, along with Christmas/Hanukkah. A new copy of Funny Girl, some sheet music, and a few books were included. They mainly gave her money to buy herself what she wanted since they weren't really sure what to get for her.

There were a few gifts for Quinn as well. They told Rachel that Quinn was welcome to open them when she wanted.

After showers for the two men, they were once again pulling out of the driveway, leaving Rachel alone with an empty house to herself.

She didn't bother to stop the tears that slipped down her cheeks.

Quinn had never answered her.

"Quinn, my dads left you some gifts for Christmas. They said you can open them whenever you wish. Will you please answer me so I know that you're alive? I'm getting scared." She wasn't lying. The farther into the day it had gotten, the more nervous she became. She didn't know where Quinn was or with who or even if she was ok. She assumed that she was with Santana and Brittany somewhere, but that by no means made it true. She could be on the other side of the state by know for all she knew.

Taking a chance, she sent a message to both Santana and Brittany "Is Quinn with you? I'm getting worried. Please, please answer me." She sent it off as well.

* * *

Another 10 minutes came and went. Her phone remained silent and unmoving.

"Why can't I ever do anything right?" Rachel thought to herself. "I loose everyone. First my dads, then Shelby, and now Quinn. What did I do that was so wrong? Wait. Shelby." Quickly finding her keys and her coat, she was out the door and down the road, trying to remember her way back to Shelby's.

* * *

Rachel was surprised to find that she had no trouble finding her way back to Shelby's and she silently thanked her good memory for times like this.

She took a deep breath and willed herself to get out of her Jeep and to the front door.

It took another deep breath to find the courage to ring the bell.

It was only a few seconds before the door opened and Rachel found herself face to face with her mother.

"Rachel, what are you doing here?" Shelby asked her, confused to why the girl was on her door step.

"I just have one question to ask you and then I'll be gone. Why wasn't I good enough for you?"

"What do you mean?" Shelby knew where this was going, but wanted to make sure first.

"Why wasn't I good enough for you? Why did you have to walk away from me again? Am I not pretty or smart enough? Is it my voice? My attitude? What made me not good enough for your standards?"

"Rachel…"

"No. I deserve to know what I did that was so wrong. Just answer the fucking question and I'll leave." Rachel was starting to get frustrated.

"It was never really you. You didn't need me. You're grown up. There was no point for me to push myself back into your life since you're almost an adult now."

"So that's why you replaced me?"

"I never replaced you."

"Yes, you did. You keep saying that you didn't, but when you turned around and adopted Quinn's baby, you replaced me. You didn't even care that I wanted to have a relationship with you. That I needed you. That I needed someone, anyone, to give a damn about me."

"Rachel.."

"No. We're done. I wish you would have never found me in the first place. All you've managed to do was fuck up my life even more!"

The sound of crying was heard before Shelby had a chance to reply. Glancing back inside the house before looking back at her daughter "Why don't you come in Rachel. Lets just talk, okay? I need to feed Beth, but lets talk about this. I want to know what's going on with you. You're still my daughter, Rachel"

"No. We're done talking. You answered my question and that's all I wanted from you. Goodbye Shelby, for good. I never want to have any type of contact with you again. You've lost your right to call me your daughter. I was just some mistake you made." Rachel turned and ran back to her Jeep, slamming the door shut and wasting no time as she pulled out of the driveway.

Shelby sighed as she watched Rachel drive away. She could feel the tears in her eyes. The sound of Beth crying pulled her back. She quickly shut the door and made her way to the kitchen to make a bottle. It was then she noticed the date on the calendar. "Shit."

* * *

Rachel's fuming by the time she makes it home.

She takes note that there is still not another car in the drive, and that her phone has remained silent. "Fine Quinn, You want it to be like this, fine. We're done. I don't care if you ever come back to my house or speak to me again. You may as well stay with Santana or Brittany or whoever else. I don't give a damn anymore. I'm done." Rachel sends the message before throwing her phone against the wall. She doesn't care if it breaks or not, she's too pissed off and hurt that it no longer matters.

Rachel strips off her clothes and bandages on her way to the bathroom, dropping them to the floor as she goes. She turns the taps on, letting the tub fill as she finds a brand new, sharp razorblade, and pulls it from the package.

Settling into the water, she squeezes her eyes tightly together as a sob rips from her throat. It feels as if there's a weight on her chest making it hard to breath. She feels like her heart is shattering in her chest with ever breath she takes. She's not sure what she's supposed to feel anymore. All she knows is that she wants the pain to stop.

She picks up the razor from the side of the tub and runs her fingers over the cool metal as she's done many times before. She craves release and freedom from everything inside of her, hoping that this time it'll work.

Taking deep breath, she places the razor against her left arm. She's been avoiding her arms for a long time now in hopes of avoiding suspicion, but in truth, it was her favorite place to cut. She presses down and drags the blade across her skin. The blood appears after only a second of the blade passing over. She sighs as she watches the blood start to drip into the water.

Bringing the blade down again, she makes two more gashes into her flesh.

These two cuts were deep. Deeper then she had ever cut before. It felt good. Watching the blood trickle out of her arm caused relief to wash over her. She makes no movement to stop the blood from pouring out.

She shuts her eyes as she lays back against the tub.

She's starting to feel dizzy and can hear her heart pounding in her ears after a few minutes, but decided to wait just a bit longer before trying to stop the blood.

She never heard the front door open and close, or the moment in her bedroom, or the person step into the bathroom.

She only realizes that she's not alone when she feels something against her arm and pressure.

Opening her eyes, she immediately squinted at the bright lights from the room. Her sight is blurry and there are little black spots popping in and out of her vision. Even through the haze in her mind, she knows exactly who it is.

"Quinn."

**A/N: I'm so, so sorry! I hadn't realized that it had been so long since I updated. This chapter was hard for me to write because I kept changing my mind over what was going to happen. I couldn't decided between what I wrote or Rachel actually trying to kill herself (notes and all) and who was going to find her. Originally, it was going to be either Brittany or Shelby that was going to find her in the tub. I changed it to Quinn at the last minute because I want to take this story back towards the direction of Faberry. I hope this chapter was ok! I promise it won't take me as long to get the next one up!**


	48. I'm So Sorry

_I'm So Sorry_

"Quinn. What are you doing here?"

"I came back Rach." Quinn squeezed Rachel's bleeding arm a little tighter, bringing her back to the situation.

Rachel gasped and pulled her arm away. She didn't want Quinn to see her, not like this. She quickly sat up, trying to find a way to cover herself.

It was a mistake. As soon as she was upright, the room began to spin and her stomach lurched violently. She let out a whimper and her hand flew to her mouth as her eyes flickered between the toilet and the bathtub of water she was sitting it. She was going to be sick. The only problem was that she would never be able to get to the toilet and she really didn't want to throw up in the water she was currently sitting in. She let out another whimper as the acid began to rise in her throat.

She was going to be sick in the tub and there was nothing she could do about it.

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, she felt herself being lifted from the tub and placed in front of the toilet just as she could no longer hold back the vomit in her throat.

Letting go, Rachel threw up the small amount of stomach contents that she had along with the burning acid as a pair of hands gently pulled her hair back and rubbed circles on her back.

The vomiting quickly changed to dry heaves since she hadn't eaten much during the day, leaving her gagging over the toilet bowel.

She had completely forgotten that Quinn was even with her.

The coughing and heaves continued for a few minutes and were showing no sign of letting up.

"Rachel, I need you to relax for me." Quinn started to softly talk to her as her hand started to rub up and down the damp back it was resting on. "Try and breath. You have to or this isn't going to stop. You're worked up and you need to calm down."

Rachel tried to focus on Quinn's voice. Her stomach was killing her, everything was still spinning, and it was getting difficult to breathe.

Quinn was starting to get nervous as Rachel continued. She could feel the tiny diva shaking under her hand. "Rachel, I'm really, really sorry for this" she told the girl before she used her hand and made a hard slap against Rachel's back, between her shoulder blades.

The slap was enough to make Rachel inhale a sharp breath and allow the heaves to stop.

Exhausted from the effort, Rachel's head fell into the toilet rim as she panted and gasped for the breaths that she desperately needed.

"Good job, Rach." Quinn told her as found a clean wash cloth and soaked it in cool water. Gently, she lifted Rachel's head and began to wipe away the sweat, tears, and traces of vomit from the flushed face in front of her.

Once she was satisfied, she helped Rachel scoot back and lean against the wall behind, positioning herself next to the girl as she carefully placed pressure back against the rag that, somehow, managed to stay on Rachel's bleeding arm.

* * *

The girls sat in silence for a few minutes before Quinn got the courage to speak.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I left Rachel." Quinn says, turning to look at the girl.

"Why did you?" Rachel refused to move her gaze from the floor as she pulls her knees tighter into her chest. She's still naked with all of her scars and fresh cuts on display. She wants nothing more then to hide at this point.

"I.. I don't know."

Rachel scoffed

"I guess I was scared. When I saw you kissing Finn I panicked."

"I didn't kiss him. He kissed me. He's so much bigger then me and I couldn't get him off. I tried, Quinn. I really tried. I had to bite him so he would stop." Rachel choked out a sob.

"I know. Brittany told us what happened."

"So you'll believe Brittany so easily but you wouldn't even give me a chance to explain what happened." There was a mixture of anger and hurt in Rachel's voice that Quinn didn't miss.

"I know. I'm so sorry. It's just. It's different."

"How? I get that you're best friends with them, but I was supposed to be your girlfriend. You never even gave me a chance."

Quinn felt her heart break when Rachel used the past tense, saying that she was her girlfriend. She took a deep breath before she spoke. This wasn't how she wanted to tell Rachel, but she had to unless she wanted to risk loosing her. "It's different because I love you, Rachel. I love them too, but not like I do with you. With you, everything feels right. It's like I'm where I'm supposed to be. I'm happy when I'm with you. When I saw you and Finn, it hurt. It felt like I had lost everything I gained these past few months. That all of this had been a lie or a way to get back at me for everything I've done to you."

"It was never a lie, Quinn. I was going to tell you what happened as soon as I walked back into the living room. I wasn't going to keep this from you. But you never even gave me a chance. You just shut me out and walked away. You said that you would never leave me, but you did. I have no one, Quinn. You were supposed to be different, but you're just like everyone else."

"I know. I can't tell you how sorry I am. I've felt horrible for doing it. It was a mistake. Please, Rach, you have to believe me. Listen, I understand if you really do want to break up. I get it and I deserve it, but please don't shut me out. Judging from what I've seen now, you haven't been completely honest either. I know those cuts weren't there before, especially not the new ones. And this" she gestured to Rachel's arm that was still in her grip "is no okay."

"I wasn't trying to. I swear."

"How can I believe you? You've been lying for what I assume has been weeks. You never stopped cutting. For all I know, you were trying to kill yourself."

"I really wasn't. I just needed to feel better. I wasn't going to go that deep. I was going to stop the bleeding, but you beat me to it. I don't want to die, Quinn. I really don't." For the first time that day, brown eyes met hazel, and Quinn could clearly see that Rachel was telling the truth.

"Ok Rach, I believe you. Where are your dads? I thought they were coming home today."

"They did. At least, for a few hours. They left again. This time for France. They'll be gone at least a month. I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't come back. They don't want me. Shelby didn't want me. I don't even know if you want me anymore."

"Don't say that. I can't speak for them, but I can tell you that I do want you."

"Why? I'm nothing but a screw up. Everything I do goes wrong and ends up hurting someone in the process. I can't do anything right."

"That's not true. You saved me."

"It was my fault that you needed saving."

"No, it wasn't. I knew it was only a matter of time before he would be back. You saved me by taking me in and caring about me. You're a good person Rach, you're just a little lost is all. I know you probably don't want to hear me say this, but Rachel, I think you need help. Help that I can't give you."

"I know. I'm scared though."

"I'll be with you every step of the way. I promise."

"I don't want to break up. I was angry when I said it. I love you too, Quinn."

Quinn pulled Rachel into her arms as she placed a kiss against her temple. "We'll get through this, together" she whispered.

The girls sat together on the floor for close to 10 minutes before Rachel's yawn broke the silence.

"Lets get you cleaned up and into bed. I think a good night's sleep will do us both some good. We can talk more in the morning, ok?"

"Ok." Rachel nodded against Quinn's shoulder.

"Stay here." Quinn told her has she pulled out of their tight embrace.

* * *

Making her way to the still full bathtub, Quinn quickly pulled the plug, allowing the now cold, light pink water to drain. She picked up the razor blade and tossed it into the trash. Pulling the removable shower head off and letting it hang, she carefully helped Rachel to stand, holding tight when the smaller girl swayed once she was standing.

Once Rachel was settled, sitting, in the tub, Quinn turned on the warm water and let it spray over the tired girl. She washed Rachel gently, almost as if she would break with too much pressure. She was careful around the gashes that were still scattered over the tiny body in front of her.

* * *

"Alright, I'm all done. Just let me clean your cuts and bandage them, ok?" Quinn told her as she pulled her out of the tub and wrapped her in a fluffy towel.

"You don't have to, Quinn. I can do it."

"No, I'm going to. I want to make sure nothing is infected anyway." Quinn gently pushed Rachel onto the toilet lid and pulled the blood stained rag from the tan arm.

Thankfully, the bleeding had stopped. The cuts were deep and could probably use some stitches, but Quinn decided that it would probably do more harm than good for Rachel at this point. Opening what she knew to be Rachel supply drawer, she pulled out the ointment, some butterfly bandages, gauze, and tape.

Just as Quinn started to apply the ointment to Rachel's arm, a gasp was heard, startling both of them.

"Shelby. W-What are you doing here?" Rachel asked as her eyes went wide, trying to pull her arm out of Quinn's grip with no luck.

"I wanted to talk to you about earlier. No one answered the door and I saw the lights on. I though something may have happened after you left. I wanted to check on you." Shelby's eyes never left Rachel's arm as she spoke.

"Oh, so now you're trying to act like you care?" Rachel hissed, venom evident in her voice.

Quinn knew she needed to do something before things got bad. "Shelby, out. Go back into her room or downstairs. You can't be in here right now." She tried to speak as calm as possible, not wanting to make the tension worse.

"No, she's my daughter. I want to know what the hell is going on." Shelby hissed.

"Right now is not the time. Do you really think that Rachel wants you, or anyone for that matter, to see her like this. She's scared, hurting, and sitting here naked except for a towel. Do you really think this is the best time? Please, back off." Quinn pleaded. She could feel Rachel's arm starting to shake in her grasp.

Shelby's gaze flickered between the two girls. From Quinn's begging eyes to Rachel's shaking body. "Ok. Fine. But I want an explanation, understand?"

"Fine. Just go downstairs and wait." Quinn told her, her eyes a mixture of relief and nervousness.

Shelby nodded and walked out of the room.

* * *

"Rachel, what do you want to do? This could be your best chance for someone to help you." Quinn spoke as she lifted the girl's head so that their eyes met.

"I'm scared.""I know sweetie. But Shelby could get you the help that you need. We could always ask your dads if you wanted."

"No, please, no. I don't want them."

"Then Rachel, it's Shelby or Miss. Pillsbury. I'm giving you a choice here. But either way, you are going to get help."

Rachel sat quietly for a minute, thinking it over. "I want it to be Shelby."

"Ok. Shelby it is."

"Will you talk to her? I don't know if I can. I'm too scared."

"I'll talk to her, but you will have to as well. She'll want to hear it from you too, and to hear what you're feeling. I will talk to her tonight so you can get some sleep, but tomorrow, you are going to do the same, ok?"

"Ok. As long as you're with me. I don't think I can do it alone. Please?"

"I told you, sweetie, I'm not letting you do this alone. I'll be here every step of the way. Now lets finish up. The sooner this is over, the sooner we can get some sleep."

* * *

Quinn finished bandaging Rachel's wounds, got her into a pair of pajamas, and tucked her into bed. "I'll be back in a little bit, I promise." Quinn kissed Rachel softly on the forehead before shutting the lights off and making her way out of the room.

Quinn stopped in the hallway and took a deep breath. She had no idea what was going to happen next, and it terrified her.

* * *

**A/N: Wow, that was a pain to write. I really need this writer's block to go away. I hope this chapter was satisfactory. I liked the suggestions to have Shelby find the girls in the bathroom and decided to use it. I'm still trying to decide how much longer I want this to last. I can't decided if I should continue to post under this story or end this one soon-ish and make a sequel dealing with Rachel's recovery or just end the story on a happy note and have that be the end of it. Opinions? And also, that you everyone for the alerts, favorites, and reviews. It never fails to make my day!**


	49. Author's Note

Author's Note

Hey guys, I know I haven't updated in a long time and everyone is wondering where I am. No, I am not dead in a ditch. No, I did not just decided to abruptly end the story there. I promise.

The next chapter is about half way written at this point. It will be up this week even if it kills me and I get no sleep. It is already planned out in my head, and it looks like it will be very long. I just need to find the time to finish it.

My plans are this: The story will end after either the next chapter or the one following then it will move into a sequel to deal with the aftermath and Rachel's recovery and what not. I am also planning to use a Beta for the sequel. If anyone is interested, please let me know.

Please keep in mind that I've got a full time job as a nurse working second shift, plus occasional first shift as well, and free time has been extremely hard to find lately.

The next chapter will contain the following at the very least: Quinn/Shelby talk, Quinn/Rachel talk, Rachel/Shelby/Quinn talk, Santana and Brittany will be back, a visit to the hospital, and tying up a few loose ends as well.

To be nice, I'm ending this note with the beginning of the next chapter.

Take care, and I'm very sorry once again!

Rachel laid in bed listening to Quinn's footsteps disappear down the stairs. She let out a deep breath when she heard the girl reach the bottom. Her birthday was not supposed to go this way. She had a girlfriend and even friends for a change. She figures that maybe she didn't deserve to have a good day.

In all honesty, she was still very much angry at Quinn for what had transpired between them yesterday. She felt a little better because of their conversation, but the fact the Quinn had walked out on her hurt. She felt betrayed, like she was only a play thing for Quinn to control and do with as she pleased. But maybe, that's all she really was. Just something for Quinn to have her fun with then kick to the curb when she was satisfied.


	50. Take Care Of Her

_Take Care Of Her_

Rachel laid in bed listening as Quinn's footsteps disappeared down the stairs. She let out a deep breath when she heard the girl reach the bottom. Her birthday was not supposed to go this way. She had a girlfriend and even friends for a change. She figures that maybe she didn't deserve to have a good day.

In all honesty, she was still very much angry at Quinn for what had transpired between them yesterday. She felt a little better because of their conversation, but the fact that Quinn had walked out on her hurt. She felt betrayed, like she was only a play thing for Quinn to control and do with as she pleased. But maybe, that's all she really was. Just something for Quinn to have her fun with then kick to the curb when she was satisfied.

* * *

As she made her way down the steps, Quinn realized that she had no idea what she'd just gotten herself into. What was she going to tell Shelby? Everything? Just enough to satisfy her? How much did Rachel actually want Shelby to know?

"May as well get this over with." Quinn told herself as she walked into the living room and spotted Shelby sitting on the couch with her legs and arms crossed. She looked impatient, and it made Quinn nervous. She chose the recliner across the room from Shelby, trying to put some distance between them, but not so much that she would seem frightened of the woman. Once sitting, she took a deep breath and opened her mouth, but was quickly cut off by the older woman.

"What the hell is going on, Quinn? Why is my daughter's arm sliced open? Care to fill me in?"

"It's… A long story."

"Then you better start talking."

"It's not my story to tell. I'm sorry, Shelby."

"Honestly, I don't care at this point who's story it is. I want to know and I want to know now. What is going on?"

"Shelby, I really think that Rachel should.."

"Still don't care. Why was my daughter trying to kill herself. How about we start with that one."

"I don't think she was. At least, she said that she wasn't. I really don't think that she would lie about that, but at this point, I may be wrong."

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Shelby broke the quiet.

"Quinn, what's going on?" This time, her voice was quiet and pleading.

"A lot of things. But, honestly, I really do think Rachel needs to be the one to tell you."

"Quinn.."

"No, please, hear me out. Rachel needs to be the one to tell you because she needs help. Serious help. She needs to be the one to tell you so that she can start getting help. She doesn't want her dads to know and I gave her a choice between the school councilor and you. She picked you, Shelby. She needs to tell you. I will be with her when she does, but it has to be her. I know that it's not what you want and that you want to know right now, but think about it. You've walked away from her twice in less then a year after pushing your way back into her life when she never asked you to. You really hurt her, Shelby. This, you pushing back in again when she has no idea if you're going to walk away again or not isn't fair to her. She's confused about what you want from her. She wants you around more then you seem to think. She really doesn't have anyone. Santana, Brittany, and myself have been her only friends that she's had and Santana and I kind of fucked that up last night. She deserves better then that. So I say this. If your plan is to find out what's going on with her because you feel you have to because she's your daughter and that's all, then you need to walk away right now. It's not fair to her for it to be that way. However, if you really do care about her and want to be involved with her, then that's fine, but you will not hurt her. If you do, so help me, I will make your life miserable. Understand?"

"I do. And I understand what you're saying. I'm not planning on walking away again. I want to be in her life."

"Why now though? Why not a year ago when she first figured out who you were?"

"Since I've had Beth, I've realized that it wasn't fair, what I did to her. She my daughter and I just shoved her aside. I hate myself for doing it to her. I thought that adopting Beth would get rid of my loneliness and sadness, but it hasn't. I want Rachel in my life. It's like a part of me is still missing. Its been that way since I gave her up, and when I found her again, I panicked. I thought that she really didn't need me. I know she told me that she did and that she seemed so happy to find me, but it just wasn't right for me. I know it was selfish, but I didn't think that it would work out. I didn't want to get attached to her and then lose her all over again." Shelby wiped a tear that had escaped down her cheek. "When she came to my house earlier, she asked me why she wasn't good enough for me."

"Wait, she was with you today?"

"Not for long. She said again how I had replaced her with Beth. That I didn't even care that she needed me. She said that she wanted nothing to do with me or to talk to me again. She said that I didn't even care about her, which is so far from the truth. I love her, Quinn. I really do. I just want another chance."

Quinn let out a sigh. "That's the thing about Rachel. She's willing to give anyone another chance. She's given me plenty even though I don't deserve any of them. Just, give her a little time, Shelby. She needs to cool off and figure out what to do. She's so lost and hurt." She let out a shaky breath. "I'm scared that I'm going to lose her. She's pulling away from me. She has been for a little while but I never actually realized it until today. I was too wrapped up in myself to see that she was hurting. I realize now that she's been putting on an act for a few weeks. I hate the fact that it took me finding her tonight to realize it. She's pulling back into herself again and I don't know how to help her any more."

"Let me help her, Quinn. Please."

Quinn could only nod as the tears slipped down her cheeks.

"Wait, where are her dads?"

"Uhmm. I think she said France. I'm not really sure if that's true or not. She said they were here for a few hours today before they left again. She said they'd be gone for at least a month."

Shelby actually growled at Quinn's words.

"Believe me, Shelby, I'm pissed too. Oh shit."

"What?"

"Her birthday is today. Shit. I was so wrapped up in my anger that I completely forgot. God, I'm a horrible girlfriend.'"

"No, your not Quinn. You'll think of a way to make it up to her. I need to as well. When she came over earlier I had forgotten too. I only realized it after she left."

"Listen Shelby, I'm grateful that you're willing to try and help Rachel, and please don't take this the wrong way, but do you think you could go now? I don't really feel comfortable leaving Rachel alone for too long up stairs and I'm exhausted. I'll talk to Rachel in the morning and have her call you to figure out when you two will talk."

"It's fine, Quinn. I understand. I kind of left Beth with my neighbor in a hurry to come over here, so I should probably be getting home anyway."

"Shelby? How is she?"

Shelby smiled "She's great, Quinn. She looks just like you. I'm not sure if you're ready to, but when you are, you're welcome to come and see her. I plan to tell her that she's adopted as soon as she's old enough to understand. I also plan to tell her about you and Puck. I want you to be able to see her and be in her life, Quinn. I didn't get that chance with Rachel, and I hate it. I won't do that to you, okay?"

"Okay. Thank you. I don't think I'm ready to just yet. But maybe soon. I think I need to help Rachel right now first. She needs me more right now."

"Just let me know when you're ready. Please, do make sure that she, or even you, call me tomorrow. Please."

"I will."

Shelby and Quinn made their way to the front door. As Shelby crossed the threshold, she turned back around. "Take care of her, Quinn. Please."

"I will. Or, I'll do my best at least. I promise."

Shelby nodded and walked away.

* * *

Quinn made her way back to Rachel's room, hoping that the tiny diva had succumbed to sleep.

She pulled on the first pair of pajamas she could find, and when the pants ended above her ankles and the shirt didn't even reach the waste band of the pants, she realized that they were defiantly Rachel's. At this point, she was to tired to even care.

Crawling into the bed, Quinn laid next to Rachel, who had her back to her. She put her hand on Rachel's shoulder and flinched when the girl pulled away.

"Please don't Quinn."

"Rachel, I'm so sorry."

"I know. But I'm still mad and hurt. Please, just don't touch me is all." Rachel's voice cracked as she spoke.

"Maybe I should go sleep in the other room instead."

"No. Please don't leave me alone. Not now. Please. I need you to stay here, but please don't touch me."

"Ok, I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here. Just get some sleep. We'll talk in the morning."

Quinn waited until Rachel's breathing evened out and she was sure the girl was asleep before speaking again "I'm so sorry Rach. I hope you can forgive me. I will make this up to you somehow. I promise. I love you, Rachel. Happy birthday, Sweetheart." Quinn placed a kiss on Rachel's shoulder before letting sleep wash over her as well.

* * *

It was 3am when Rachel's scream woke Quinn.

* * *

**A/N: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I know this was supposed to be up a few days ago, but my computer caught a virus and well, yea, it wasn't pretty. This is not as long as I had intended it to be, and I did not include everything that I had planned on. I wanted to get something posted so it's really only part of this chapter. Please forgive me? I am going to try my hardest to get back into weekly updates, but I'm not going to promise this time! I do have a long weekend off this week, so I plan to write until I can't see straight any more.**


	51. The Hospital

_It was 3am when Rachel's scream woke Quinn._

* * *

_The Hospital_

Quinn's eyes flew open as she sat up in the bed. She expected Rachel to be awake and sitting next to her, but instead, the diva was thrashing around in the bed as she whimpered in her sleep.

"Rach, wake up." Quinn gently shook the girl's shoulder.

Rachel continued to squirm.

"Come on, sweetie. Please wake up." Quinn shook harder this time, only to be pushed away

"Rachel, wake up!" Quinn yelled this time as she gave her another hard shake.

Rachel immediately jolted awake and sat up gasping for breath.

"Rachel?" Quinn asked, gently placing a hand on the girl's arm.

"I'm fine. Just a dream is all."

"What was it about?"

"Nothing. It's over now. It was just a dream. Nothing more. Goodnight, Quinn."

Rachel pulled away and moved to lay back down, only to be stopped by Quinn's hand grabbing hers.

"Rachel, talk to me."

"I told you. It was nothing. I don't really even remember it anyway."

As Rachel spoke, Quinn became more aware that the hand she was grasping was very warm and clammy.

"Rachel, do you feel alright? You're really warm." Quinn said as she moved her hand to Rachel's forehead.

"I guess. I'm a little dizzy and kind of cold. Which is really odd considering I almost never get sick."

A light went off in Quinn's mind. She quickly got off the bed and pulled Rachel with her towards the bathroom.

"Quinn? What are you doing?"

"Take your clothes off."

"What? Quinn I will do no such thing!"

"Take them off. Now, Rachel. I'll do it for you if you don't."

Rachel shot Quinn a glair.

"Fine." In less time it took to blink, Rachel's shirt was over her head and on the floor.

"Quinn!"

"Oh relax. It's not like I've never seen you naked before." Quinn replied as she rolled her eyes.

Quinn began to let her eyes trail over the tiny body in front over her. All the cuts and marks so far looked fine and were healing properly. She then took each arm and checked them as well. Again, everything appeared to be ok. Moving on, Quinn turned Rachel to the side and lifted her arm. Her left side was also fine. She was starting to doubt her theory, but decided to press on.

She turned Rachel again, but this time when she lifted the girl's arm, she couldn't stop the gasp from passing her throat.

On Rachel's right side, a gash of about 5 inches ran across, just above the hip bone. This one was not okay. The skin around the gash was bright red and swollen while the cut itself was red with a hint of yellow running the length.

Gently, Quinn placed her hand on the surrounding skin and found it was almost hot to the touch and Rachel moved slightly away at the feel.

"Does it hurt?"

Rachel squeezed her eyes shut and nodded.

"How did I not see this earlier?" Quinn mumbled out loud, but more to herself. "We're going to the hospital, Rachel. Right now."

"No. Quinn, please. It's fine. It'll be fine."

"No it will not be fine!" Quinn raised her voice, ignoring Rachel's flinch as she did so. "This is badly infected. It needs to be looked at immediately. It's not something we can fix. It has to be seen by a doctor."

"Can't we wait until later?"

"Nope. All it is going to do is get worse."

"Not in a few hours."

"Seriously Rachel? You do realize that if this isn't looked at soon you can get extremely sick. You could die, Rachel! Do you not understand that?"

"Well maybe it would be better that way!" Rachel yelled back.

Quinn knew that this was going to lead to a fight and right now, all she wanted was to get Rachel looked at. She decided, as much as she didn't want to, to ignore what had just been said.

"Put your shirt on. We're leaving in 5 minutes." Quinn growled before stomping out of the bathroom in search of their phones and a pair of sweats for herself.

* * *

After changing, she found Rachel's phone and sent a text to Shelby. "It's Quinn. I'm taking Rachel to the hospital. She's got a badly infected cut on her side. The hospital is going to want a parent to sign the papers. If you really do care about her, you'll be there." She hit send and stomped back to the bathroom, only to find Rachel in the exact place she had left her.

"Fuck it." She told herself. She took the zip hoodie she had found and managed to get the other girl into it with only a small struggle. "Leaving, now." Quinn grabbed Rachel's arm and yanked her downstairs and to her car.

She felt a phone vibrate in her pocket and pulled it out after getting Rachel into the passenger side. "I'll be there as soon as I can. I can't get a sitter so I will have to bring Beth with me." Quinn groaned. As much as she wanted to see her daughter, right now was not really when she wanted to do it.

* * *

10 minutes later, Quinn pulled into the parking lot of the emergency room.

Again, she had to practically drag a silent Rachel inside.

Luckily for them, it was a slow night in the ER and they were taken back as soon as Rachel's information was taken.

* * *

Rachel was handed a gown by the nurse and told to put it on.

When the nurse left, Quinn helped Rachel in to it and then put the hoodie back on, leaving it unzipped.

After Rachel was settled into the bed with the blankets and gown adjusted to allow the hospital staff access to Rachel's side without revealing her other cuts, the nurse returned and inserted and IV into Rachel's hand.

Quinn noticed she didn't even flinch as the needle penetrated.

* * *

It was another 10 minutes before the doctor came in.

"Hello Rachel, I'm Dr. Cay. What seems to be bothering you?" The doctor was a young woman, around her late 20s with light brown hair and blue eyes.

Rachel was relieved to find the doctor was a woman, but refused to talk.

"She's got a cut on her right side that I'm pretty sure is infected." Quinn answered for her.

"Alight then. May I ask who you are?"

"Quinn, I'm her girlfriend."

"I see. Well, Rachel is a minor, so we do need a parent here."

"Her mom is on her way."

Rachel's eyes narrowed at the blonde who simply shrugged it off.

"Well, why don't we have a look as we wait, ok?" Dr. Cay moved Rachel's gown up her side to take a look.

* * *

After a through exam she gave her opinion. "It's definitely infected all right. It could have used some stitches, but unfortunately they can only be done within a small window of time. I'm going to clean it out, give you two round of IV antibiotics, and you will need to take a few days of oral antibiotics as well. I'll have to wait until your mom gets here to start so she can sign the papers. Furthermore Rachel, you are about 15 pounds under weight for your height. It may not seem like much, but considering how small you are, it can be dangerous. I will be speaking to her about that as well. How about you tell me what caused this?"

The two women waited in silence as they looked at the tiny girl in the bed.

"Come on Rachel, tell her how this happened."

Rachel's eyes met Quinn's and she could tell the blonde was in no mood to play games any longer. "I.. Caught a piece of metal in the garage a few days ago. I wasn't paying attention and it caught my side." Rachel finished looking back at the doctor, silently begging for her to believe the lie.

"Ouch. You need to be more careful, okay?"

"I will." Rachel nodded as she let out a sigh of relief that the doctor believed her. Her could feel Quinn's piercing stare from the other side of the bed, but refused to acknowledge it.

* * *

When Shelby showed up a few minutes later, she immediately signed the papers giving the doctor the okay to treat Rachel. She entered the room the nurse pointed to and found the girls waiting. Rachel was looking at her lap as she played with her hands, while Quinn was watching Rachel.

"Hi girls."

Two pairs of eyes immediately snapped toward Shelby, taking note of the carrier in her hand. Rachel immediately looked away and resumed staring at her lap while Quinn's lingered for a few seconds before looking away.

Shelby was carrying the car seat so that neither girl could see the baby inside and a blanket was draped over the top. She knew that this was going to be hard for both girls and wanted to make the situation as easy as possible. She set the carrier on the empty chair and made her way to Rachel's bed.

"They told me what's going on. Did you really hurt yourself in the garage, Rachel?"

Rachel's body immediately tensed.

"I didn't think so. They said you are underweight as well. Care to explain?"

Again, Rachel didn't move and her body remained stiff.

"Alright, fine. But you will be talking later today. Understand?"

There was a very slight nod that she would have missed had she not been looking directly at her.

* * *

Two hours later, Rachel's cut was cleaned and dressed, and her IV was disconnected. Shelby had signed the discharge papers and had picked up Rachel's pills from the hospital pharmacy.

* * *

In the parking lot, Shelby loaded the car seat containing Beth into the back of her SUV. She was saying a silent thank you that the baby had not woken once or made any nose then entire time.

"Ok girls," Shelby turned back to the pair waiting two parking spots over "This little chat will be happening today. There will be no discussion or argument about it. I didn't come here in the middle of the night just to be told I'd have to wait for an explanation. Quinn, take Rachel home. I want the two of you to get some rest and then I want you to call me when you're ready for me to come over. If I do not hear from either of you by, say 3, I will call and warn that I am on my way over. Alright?"

"Yea, that's fine Shelby. I'll call you. Uhmm, will you be bringing Beth with you?"

"Honestly, probably not. I know this will be hard enough and I don't want to add more stress. My neighbor will probably watch her, but if I can't find anyone, I will have to bring her. I was serious when I said that you can see her, Quinn."

"I know. And as I said, I'm not ready to yet. But, if you have to bring her, it's fine."

Shelby nodded in response. "Rachel, look at me, please."

Reluctantly, Rachel's eyes met the identical pair looking back at her.

"This isn't some fluke or another time that I'm going to walk away from you. I'm here now, and I'm staying. I understand if you don't believe me and I deserve that, but I will do everything to make sure you know how serious I am."

To Shelby and Quinn's surprise, Rachel walked the few steps without a word towards Shelby and wrapped her arms around her waist, giving her a quick but firm hug before walking back to Quinn's car and getting inside.

"Well, I did not see that coming." Quinn said as she looked dumbfounded at the older woman.

"Honestly, I didn't either. I actually was expecting her to hit me or yell or something, not that. I'll see you guys in a few hours, ok?"

"Ok. Hey Shelby, thank you."

Shelby simply nodded before getting into her car and pulling out of the parking lot.

* * *

Back at the Berry house, Quinn and Rachel settled into bed. However, unlike a few hours previous, Rachel curled into Quinn's side and was asleep in seconds.

Quinn looked down at the girl in her arms and placed a kiss to her still warm forehead before drifting to sleep as well.

* * *

**A/N: I'm sorry this took so long to be posted. I couldn't get this chapter written for the life of me. I actually have 1,000+ words of the next chapter already written. Sadly, they were actually done before I even started this chapter. Sorry for all the spelling/grammar mistakes. I'm dead tired and have a migraine starting, so I didn't proof-read this much at all. I hope it's ok. I will have the next chapter up as soon as I can!**

**Spoilers for the next and final chapter before the sequel: Brittany is the one who gets Rachel to talk. That's right. Brittany and Santana are back for the next chapter! Brittany is also not as oblivious to what's going on as the other three seem to think. Until next time!**


	52. Hell Breaks Loose

_Hell Breaks Loose_

Quinn was the first to wake up later that day. Glancing at the clock, it read 12:30pm. She looked down at Rachel, who, in the process of her sleep, had shifted so that she was practically on top of her. Rachel's head was tucked under her chin while her right arm and leg were thrown over top of her body, along with half of her torso. The steady breathing tickled the hair on her neck, causing her to shiver at the sensation.

Quinn's stomach growled, alerting her to the reason she woke up in the first place. She really didn't want to wake Rachel yet and wanted to be able to shower and make them something to eat before Shelby would come over later.

Slowly, Quinn managed to carefully move Rachel's arm and leg off of her, removing most of her body in the process. She gently slid out, letting Rachel's head settle back onto the bed. She had to suppress a giggle when Rachel's brows furrowed as she pouted in her sleep. She was sure she had woken her, but was relieved when Rachel's arm felt around and simply grabbed the pillow that she had been using and curled up with it before resuming her light snoring. She could only imagine the fit Rachel would throw if she ever informed her that she snored. She's sure there would be a powerpoint involved as well. Well, actually, that would be the old Rachel and not the girl she was currently looking at. The thought made Quinn frown as she thought back to everything that had happened in the past few months.

Finding Rachel's phone, Quinn quickly transfer Shelby's number into her own and sent a text._ Shelby, it's Quinn. I just woke up and Rachel is still asleep. I need enough time to get ready and get Rachel up. I also plan on getting her to eat something. I'll let you know when we're ready._

Quinn then sent another text, this time to Santana. _S, Brittany was right. You need to apologize to Rachel. I'm just not sure if she will forgive you yet. It was a rough night/morning. _

She then wondered over to what had become her and Rachel's shared closet. Settling on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, she gave the sleeping girl a quick glance, finding her still sound asleep, and slipped out the door. She wanted Rachel to sleep as long as possible so she made her way to the guest bathroom down the hall.

* * *

It was 45 minutes later when Quinn was freshly showered, dressed, and had lunch made for the two of them.

* * *

Rachel was still asleep in the same position when Quinn went back upstairs. The light on her phone was blinking, indicating a new text. It was a reply from Shelby. _That's fine. Just let me know when you guys are ready. Make sure she takes her medicine, please._

Quinn typed out a reply before tossing her phone aside. _I'm getting Rachel up now. You can come whenever. _

* * *

After Rachel was awake and dressed, all while refusing to meet Quinn's gaze, she allowed herself to be practically pulled into the kitchen and onto a bar stool. Quinn placed a plate of fruit and a sandwich in front of her along with a glass of juice and a large pink pill.

"Take a few bites, take the pill, then eat some more." Quinn told her.

"I'm not hungry." Rachel mumbled, popping the pill into her mouth followed by a gulp of the juice

"We're not playing this game today. Eat something. I will force feed you if I have to." Quinn challenged back.

Rachel picked up the smallest grape on her plate, made a show of chewing it before swallowing. "Happy now?"

"One grape, seriously? Keep going."

Rachel mumbled under her breath, but complied.

Once half of the sandwich and all of the fruit was gone, Quinn gave Rachel a break and told her she could be finished, but was surprised when Rachel didn't hesitate to finish the other half and the rest of the juice as well.

* * *

Santana and Brittany were the first to show up at the Berry house a little while later and walked inside without hesitation to find Quinn and Rachel sitting on opposite ends of the couch.

"What are you two doing here?" Quinn asked.

"Do you not pay attention to your phone? I said we'd be over in a little bit." Santana looked back at her, confused.

"Oh. Uhmm. No. I left it upstairs actually. Maybe you guys shouldn't be here right now. Why don't you come back later tonight." Quinn was getting nervous. She knew that Shelby would be there at any time and did not want Santana around for it.

"What are you hiding, Q?"

"Nothing. I just don't think now is a good time."

"Whatever. We're not leaving. I need to have a chat with the midget first."

"S, be nice." Brittany hissed at her.

"I am being nice. I mean it as a term of endearment."

"Ohh, like Bambi?"

"No B, I mean I was being nice."

"Oh."

Santana made her way to the couch and plopped down next to Rachel, not noticing her flinch in the process. "Look Rachel, about what happened. You have to realize that Q's my girl and she comes first. Yea, maybe I should have given you a chance to explain what happened, but I was too pissed off that Q was upset. I just.. I'm sorry, okay?"

Both Quinn and Brittany were shocked that those words left Santana's mouth, Rachel on the other hand, didn't even acknowledge what had been said.

"Really Rachel? I never say sorry and you're ignoring me?" She reached out to touch the girl.

This time it was obvious that Rachel flinched and pulled away, trying to move closer to the arm of the couch that she was already smashed against.

"Rachel-"

"Leave me alone, Santana." The three girls winced at the tone of Rachel's voice. It was a mixture of anger and heartbroken. "You were supposed to be there. You were supposed to help me but you left. Just like everyone else has. Just leave. All of you. I'm not worth it anyway." There were a few tears already making their way down Rachel's cheeks by the time she finished.

"Rach-""No! Leave me alone!" Rachel screamed this time.

"What's going on here?" Four pairs of eyes immediately snapped to the doorway of the living room to see none other then Shelby standing there glairing. "What did you guys do?"

"Oh hell no. What the fuck are you doing here?" Santana snapped and made her way back to the other two, ready for a fight.

"I'm supposed to be here and Quinn and Rachel both know this. What I want to know is why she's crying and why I heard screaming outside. Somebody better start talking."

Santana actually shrunk back at the tone. She would never admit it, but she was defiantly scared of the older brunette and the glair she was currently on the receiving end of wasn't helping. "Well?"

Swallowing her fear, she bit back. "I was apologizing for what happened the other night. She didn't want to hear it though."

"And that would be?"

"Finn showed up and kissed Rachel. Santana and I got pissed and blamed her without hearing her side first. That was the night before you found us in the bathroom." Quinn decided to step in. She figured Shelby should know as much as possible if she was going to be of any help.

"Okay." Shelby simply said.

"Okay? That's it? That's all you're going to say?" Santana decided to push..

"Oh believe me, there's plenty more that I could say but I'm not going to because I'm here to make sure that my daughter is okay and what I can do to help."

"Oh, so now you want to be her mom. What, starting to feel guilty that you're a bitch and left her?"

"San-" Quinn started but was cut off by a furious Shelby instead.

"Listen here. My reasons for being here are none of your business. Those reasons are between Rachel, Quinn, and myself."

"Wait, Q knows about this? Is this why you tired to get us to leave? You knew she was coming here?"

"Yes, I did actually. She needs to be here. Rachel needs her."

"Like hell she does. All she is going to do is leave again anyway. She needs to be gone like she was before. Before anyone knew who she was."

"Santana! Shut up. You think you know everything that's going on but you don't. You don't know what happened yesterday or today for that matter. You need to drop it and leave Shelby alone. If you can't then you need to leave." Quinn was now getting angry. She knew that Shelby was only trying to help Rachel, she could tell from their conversation from the other night, but was mad that Santana was butting in when she needed to back off and left Shelby take over. "You don't know everything like you seem to think. You need to give her a chance here."

"Nope, I'm not going anywhere. At least not with her here anyway. And I'll be damned if I'm giving her a chance. She already fucked up enough as it is and you're just going to let her be here and push her way back in?"

"Yes, I am."

As the yelling and arguing continued, it was again Brittany that noticed that Rachel was not okay.

* * *

**A/N: Ok. I'm ending this one here. This was supposed to be the last chapter but I can't decided how I want the next part to go. There's about 1,300+ words already written for the next and final chapter. I feel bad that I haven't updated in long time. I hope this and the next chapter are alright. I've actually been writing it in chunks as it comes to me. Oddly enough, the first part of the next chapter was written first and I've been working my way out from there and jumping around. Hang with me a little bit longer! I have the day off tomorrow so I'm going to try my hardest to finish!**


	53. Second Chances

_As the yelling and arguing continued, it was again Brittany that noticed that Rachel was not okay. _

* * *

**Second Chances**

The diva had pulled her knees to her chest, face buried in them, her hands clamped firmly over her ears as if trying to block out the noise, and she was slowly rocking back and fourth.

The three didn't notice as the tall blonde slipped over to the couch towards the one person who should be their biggest concern at the moment, and not fighting with one another.

In one quick swoop, she picked up the shaking girl and sat, placing her on her lap. Brittany carefully pulled one of Rachel's hands from her ear so that she could speak."I've got you Rachel. It's ok. I've got you. Just breathe."Wasting no time, Rachel's face was buried into the neck of her once again savior as she gripped Brittany's hoodie in her tiny hands.

Brittany felt the immediate wetness on her neck, and the yelling did nothing to hide the sobs that resonated."It's my... F-fault. Every.. Thing is my fault." Rachel managed to choke out between sobs. "What is Ray?""Everything... I mess up everything. I c-cant do anything r-right. I'm a f-failure. I hurt everyone."Brittany simply gripped the girl tighter "I'm going to yell now, don't be scared. I'm not mad at you, this is for them, ok?"She felt Rachel nod against her as she pulled herself closer, acting to brace herself for what was about to come.

"Hey!" Brittany's voice echoed throughout the living room and immediately caused its occupants to fall silent and look at her in shock. "Shut up, now. All of you. Can't you see your scaring her? All you guys want to do is fight over who's wrong and who's right, but you're making it worse for her."As if on cue, a sob was heard.

Quinn immediately moved towards the pair but Brittany's hand quickly stopped her."No, Quinn. I won't let you by her right now.""But she's my girlfriend.""I don't care. Right now she's terrified because you three can't figure out how to act like adults. Grow up! I'm know I'm not the brightest person, but I'm not stupid. I know something is really wrong and I know that you guys should be fixing it, not scaring her and making it worse."

Quinn looked at the pair of girls trying to find something to say, but gave up when Shelby cut in. "She's right. Lets just all sit down and talk."

The trio sat across the room on the couch, facing the pair.

"Come on Rachel, sit up for me, ok?" Brittany coaxed her gently out from her neck, pushing the long brown hair away from her face and shoulders, putting it in a loose ponytail with the band around her wrist.

Rachel managed to take a deep breath and sit up. As she wipe her eyes with the back of her hands, the sleeve of her sweat shirt slid up her arms, inadvertently showing her scared and mutilated arms to Brittany.

"Ray? What happened to your arms?" Brittany gently asked as she held the girl's arm as her fingers danced over a few of the lines.

Rachel's head stayed down, refusing to meet the blue eyes starring back at her.

Those same blue eyes looked around the room. Quinn and Santana were looking at each other, their eyes flickering as they conversed silently. Shelby was looking between both pairs of girls, waiting to see what was going to happen.

Brittany looked back at the girl still sitting on her lap. "Rachel? Please look at me."

Rachel only squeezed her eyes tightly together as she tried to pull her arm from Brittany's grasp.

"Rachel" Brittany pulled both arms towards herself, seeing the blood stained gauze surrounding her other arm as well. She reached up, carefully lifting the quivering chin with her hand. "Open you're eyes sweetie."

The command was gentle, and Rachel complied after a deep breath. Chocolate eyes met the ocean blue ones looking at her.

Brittany could see the fear and panic mixed with shame swirling in the eyes before her. "Rachel, did you do this?"

"Britt, maybe you should-"

"Either be quiet or leave Santana." Brittany snapped back, her eyes never leaving Rachel's.

"Yes." It was said in barely above a whisper, but it seemed to echo around the room.

"Why?"

"Brittany-" Quinn made a move as to start standing, but was quickly stopped by Shelby.

"No, let her. Maybe.. Maybe she can get her to talk." Shelby whispered, afraid that if she spoke too loud, it would scare Rachel out of whatever trance Brittany seemed to have her in.

Brittany's hand moved to cup Rachel's cheek and used her thumb to wipe away a tear. "Thank you for finally telling me."

"You knew?"

"I knew you guys were hiding something, I just didn't know what exactly. I had an idea what it was though. You were acting like Santana did when she was doing it. Now, why?"

"I.. I don't know.."

"Yes, you do. Just talk. Don't be afraid. No one here is judging you." Brittany let her gaze flicker to the others with a hard glare, warning them. "We just need to know what's going on in that pretty head of yours" putting emphasis to her words by tapping her finger to Rachel's temple.

"I wish.. I feel like.. I can't." Rachel stumbled over her words.

"Take a deep breath and just talk. Whatever comes to mind." Brittany instructed her.

Rachel obeyed and started again. "I feel like shit. I hate myself. I feel like I'm ruining everyone's lives. I wish I knew what I did that was so wrong to cause everyone to leave me. I want to know so that maybe I can fix it."

"You haven't done anything sweetie."

"I had to have. Why else would everyone leave me. Everything was fine but then it all changed. I had my dads, but they got sick of me and left. Shelby didn't want me after she met me and saw what a failure I was. It's not like I ever had any friends or other family. I've always been and always will be Rupaul or manhands or treasure trail or just the school freak. Jacob is higher than me on the social ladder. I've been slushied and tossed into the dumpster at least double what he has been." She took another breath before continuing. "I'm better off alone. Or maybe not even here at all. Then no one has to pretend to care. Everyone can go back to their lives and act like I was never here in the first place. It's what you all want, isn't it? My dads can continue to do what they have been except they wouldn't have to be giving me guilt money or even coming back here. Quinn can go back to being the perfect daughter and go home and go back to Finn or Noah or Sam. Santana can take the solos in glee club and focus on you. You wouldn't have to be sitting here listening to this bullshit and just be happy. Shelby won't have to acknowledge that she even had another daughter. Beth can be the only one there's ever been. Hell, she could take in Quinn and then the three of them could make their own perfect family. The three of you can go back to ruling the school without having to put up with me. Everyone's lives would be better without me around. I don't deserve to be alive."

Quinn, Santana, and Shelby had tears falling from their eyes while Brittany's gaze stayed with Rachel, refusing to let her own fall.

"None of that is true, Rachel."

"Yes it is! Why can't all of you see that?" Rachel's voice raised in volume as she spoke.

"We don't see it because it's not true. We want you here. We like having you around. I like having you around. You're always nice to me and you don't make me feel stupid. You help me with big words and learning the words for Glee songs. Even if you had no one else, which isn't the case, you would still have me."

In her head, all Rachel could hear was that Brittany was lying, everything that she was saying wasn't true. Unsure what to believe, she moved off the girl's lap and pulled her legs back into her chest, putting her forehead on her knees.

Quinn finally got her legs to work and sat on the other side of her diva. She wanted to be near her, even if she couldn't touch her.

"I think we need to talk, Rachel.""It's fine, Shelby. You're leaving again. I expected that. I'm too much of a problem and there's no hope of fixing me. Maybe all of you should just walk away now. I'm not worth it anyway.""No, that's not it at all.""Don't lie. I get it. It's fine. I'll just go upstairs and wait until you guys go. I'm sure Brittany and Santana can help Quinn pack her things."

Rachel stood an started to walk away, letting out a squeak as she found herself being yanked backwards onto Quinn's lap, arms wrapped firmly around her to keep her in place."I'm not going anywhere, Rach, and neither are you. You're going to sit here and listen to what Shelby has to say. Then you're going to listen to me, understand?"Rachel only struggled against Quinn's grip, wanting nothing more then to get away and lock herself in her bathroom and cry for what seemed like the hundredth time that day.

Shelby moved and sat down on the coffee table, directly in front of Rachel and took both of her hands in her own. "Please look at me, Rachel." Shelby's voice was gentle, not wanting to cause the Rachel to push her further away then she already had. "Please, baby girl, please look at me. I'm not going anywhere. I promise you. I'm here for good. Please, just look at me." She was trying to keep her own tears at bay and her voice from cracking as she spoke.

Rachel only shook her head and kept her eyes tightly shut as she tucked her chin to her chest.

Shelby moved both of Rachel's tiny hands into one of hers, and used her free hand to cup Rachel's damp cheek and lifted her head, using her thumb to wipe away the tears silently making their way down. "Come on, sweetie. I need you to look at me."

"Hey San, why don't we go upstairs." Brittany picked up that this was something that the three of them needed to do alone without them in the room watching. She knew that right now all that she needed was Quinn to be with her.

"Hell no, I'm not leaving her alone with them." Santana glared at the back of Shelby's head.

Brittany rolled her eyes at her girlfriend's stubbornness, got up, and yanked Santana off of the couch she was on. "Lets go. We don't need to be down here for this. They need to do this alone." Brittany's voice was growing harsher.

"But-"

"Santana" Quinn had enough and decided to cut in "You need to listen to her. I get that you want to be protective of Rachel, but you need to realize that you hurt her too. Rachel needs Shelby right now, whether you like it or not. What you don't know is that last night I came back and found Rachel almost passed out in the bathtub from loosing so much blood. Or that Shelby found us in the bathroom. You don't know that the three of us spent a few hours in the hospital this morning because Rachel's side is badly infected. She hasn't stopped cutting, Santana. We can't help her anymore. This is too much for us. We need Shelby to help Rachel."

Santana stood, mouth agape, looking between Rachel and Quinn until Brittany gave her a nudge, causing her focus to break. She was torn on what do to. On one hand she wanted to hug the tiny girl, but on the other she wanted to smack her for not talking to someone sooner. She settled for placing a hand on Rachel's shoulder and gave her a tight squeeze. "Later, ok Rachel?" Santana told her.

Rachel nodded her head slightly. She knew it was coming and that she would be talking with Santana, regardless if she liked it or not.

"Listen to me, Rachel. I'm not going anywhere this time. I promise you that." Shelby told her. "I know I walked away and I'm so sorry. You did nothing wrong. I left because I thought that you didn't need me."

"I told you I needed you." Rachel cut in.

"I know you did. But I figured that you had your dads and that I would only be making things more confusing for you."

"So you came back because you felt sorry for me?"

"No. I came back because.. Well, partly because I saw you two in the mall a while back and I saw your arm-"

"So it's guilt then?""No, Rachel, let me finish. When I saw your arm I knew I had to try and do something. I realized that maybe you did need me."

Rachel scoffed

"I never wanted to replace you or make you feel like I did."

"You said you wanted a family as I stood right there offering myself. I even mentioned helping with the glee club so we good get to know each other better and you still said no and walked away. You adopted Beth to replace me because I wasn't good enough. I wasn't what you wanted. No one wants me!"

"Stop. I always wanted you, Rachel. From the day you were born I wanted you. Giving you up was the hardest thing I've ever done. I walked away because I didn't think it would work out with us. I didn't want to get attached to you to only loose you again so I stopped it before it could happen. I was selfish. You did nothing wrong. I adopted Beth to try and fill the hole and the loneliness."

"Which it did, so you're still going to leave anyway."

Shelby decided to ignore the comment and continued "It didn't fix it. Yes, I'm not so lonely anymore, but the hole is still there. I realize now that I pushed you aside for my own sake and didn't even think about how it would effect you. Rachel, I'm so sorry. I can't apologize enough for what I did to you, and I know no matter how many times I do, it'll never make up for it."

"So you want to reconnect with me so you don't feel guilty, just like I said. You don't want to feel responsible for what's going on. You want to be guilt free from all of this! Just leave, Shelby!"

"I don't want to be guilt free from all of this. I want to be here for you. I want to help you. I want to be in your life, Rachel. I'm basically throwing myself at you and now you're tying to push me away."

"Well that did you expect? Me to just fall into your arms, crying and calling you "mommy"? Well guess what, it doesn't work that way, Shelby! I wanted you a year ago when you forced your way into my life and you blew me off. I didn't come looking for you! You made Jesse give me that tape. When I finally realized who you were and you figured out that I wasn't what you had planned for, you left. Why should I believe that this will be different? I have no reason to trust you."

"I know you don't, but please give me another chance, Rachel. Please let me try."

"You're just going to hurt me again."

"If I do, it won't be intentional. I want to be in your life. You're my daughter, and I love you with ever part of me. Please, I'm just asking for one chance."

Rachel and Shelby stared at each other for what seemed like an hour before Rachel spoke.

"Fine. You get one chance, Shelby. If you mess it up, we're done."

"Thank you, Rachel. I won't mess it up."

"I have a few rules though. This is my house, not yours. You cannot barge in here whenever you feel the need too. You need to be either invited over here by one of us or ask if you can stop by. Second, you cannot demand I talk to you about whatever. I don't trust you and I will not talk to you by force. I will only talk to you when and if I feel comfortable. Third, you will leave my fathers out of this. You will do nothing and say nothing to them. Fourth, Beth is not to be around until Quinn is alright with it. You will not bring her here or have her with you when or if we are out. If it's by accident then fine, but you will not force Beth and Quinn together. Quinn should get to know Beth, as she is her daughter, but it will not happen until she is comfortable with it. I will not have you hurt her. Which brings me to my last, if you hurt either myself or Quinn, the deal is up."

Shelby thought for a minute over Rachel's proposal "Okay, I will agree to all of that. We will do this at your pace. You will be in control here, alright?"

"Alright."

"Rachel, we do need to do something about your cutting and what you're feeling though. This isn't okay. And you see from last night and this morning how dangerous it can be. I get that you don't want to talk to me, but please at least talk to Quinn, or even Santana or Brittany. However, have you thought about seeing a therapist? It might help and you would be able to talk about things that you can't with the rest of us."

"I have a therapist, but I don't like him. I'm not comfortable talking to him."

"Then how about we find you one that you are comfortable with. After the holidays are over, we can look for one. Is that okay?"

"Yes. I would rather wait a little bit anyway."

"Sounds good then. Listen, I'm going to leave now. I know you've been though a lot in a few hours and I don't want to keep pushing you. Plus, I think Quinn and Santana have a few things to say to you as well. I'm a phone call or a text away, for either of you. And Quinn, I think it might be a good idea for you to see someone as well."

"I think so too." Quinn didn't hesitate to agree. Honestly, she wanted someone to talk to about what had happened and about her life with her parents, things that she wasn't ready to share with Rachel yet.

"I love you Rachel. I'll text you tomorrow, okay?"

Rachel nodded and pulled out of Quinn's arms to lean forward and wrap her own around Shelby.

Shelby could feel Rachel taking deep breaths against her shoulder and didn't hesitate to press a kiss to her temple, Holding on until Rachel pulled away first.

* * *

When the front door shut, Quinn turned to Rachel, who had moved back to her own cushion and off of Quinn's lap. "Are you alright with all of this?"

"I guess. It's weird, but I don't think I have much of a choice."

"Yea, probably not. Can I ask you a few things?"

"Sure. I think?"

"What was your nightmare about?"

"Quinn.."

"Please?"

"You left me. All of this was a joke and you laughed at me and walked away. You went back to Finn and Santana and Brittany left too. Everyone left. I guess it was more real life too and not just a nightmare."

"Rachel, I'm not leaving you, I promise you that. I'm here to stay. Even when you think that you hate me and you yell and scream and lock me out of the bedroom, I'm not going anywhere. You have my word."

Rachel nodded in response. She was hesitant to believe her, but decided to agree to make Quinn happy.

"Rachel, you remember the one day when… Uhmm.. When you and I, kind of-"

"Yes, Quinn I do. What about it?"

"Do you regret it?"

"Honestly? I think maybe it was a little soon for what we did, but no, I don't regret it. Do you?"

"No. Honestly? It was pretty hot." Quinn wiggled her eyebrows, making Rachel giggle. "Also, I plan to make your birthday up to you."

"You don't have to do that. I'm used to it anyway. It's not a big deal."

"Rachel, it's your birthday, it is a big deal."

"No, it's not. My dads haven't been here for my birthday in years, so really, I'm used to it. Don't both, just let this one go."

"Sorry, but I'm not going to do that."

"Quinn-"

"Give it up. Not gunna work. Sorry. Now, I think I'm going to find us something for dinner while Santana has a little talk with you." Quinn gave Rachel a kiss on the cheek and left to find the Latina.

* * *

"Alright, Rachel, lets to this shit." Santana said plopping down next to herl. "Why the hell didn't you talk to me or Quinn?"

Rachel was surprised to find that the Latina didn't seem angry, just more curious. "I figured that Quinn had enough going on and didn't need me adding to it and you needed to focus on Quinn."

"That's bullshit and you know it."

"No it's-"

"It is. You know damn well that Quinn would have dropped everything to help you, regardless of what she was going through. I would have dropped anything to help. So what's the real reason?"

"I wanted to cut.""There it is. Keep going."

"It just, it makes me feel better. I get control over something for a change."

"I get it, Rachel, I really do. But it's not good. Plus the whole infection thing is a big problem."

"I know."

"No, I don't think that you do. If you did you wouldn't have let it get that way. You would have said something about it. You don't see how serious this is. I know it feels good and all at the time, but do you ever stop and think about what's going to happen? Like the infection or passing out? What's going to happen when you go too deep and the bleeding doesn't stop? Then what? Do you have any idea how much it would absolutely kill Quinn if anything happened to you? You don't see how she looks at you. She is so head over heels in love with you it's kind of sickening to watch. Open your eyes and look around, Rachel! You have people who care about you. I get that your dads are dicks and all, but you have us now, like it or not. You need to start talking to one of us. It doesn't matter if you think we're too busy or have enough going on, you need to talk to one of us. I'm not playing around anymore, Rachel. I'm really not. I will start checking you every day, or I will make Quinn do it. Hell I could throw B in there as well to spice things up a bit."

"Is that what Brittany made you do?"

"No. Brittany didn't know until after I had stopped. I mean come on, she's seen me naked more times then I can count, she had to notice the scars eventually. When she asked, I avoided the questions for a while, but I eventually gave up and just told her. Please, Rachel. Let one of us in. It doesn't have to be this bad. It really doesn't. You aren't as alone as you think you are."

"I'm not promising anything."

"And I'm not promising that I won't strip you myself if you refuse."

Rachel glared at Santana for that comment, causing said girl to simply shrug.

"Seriously though, this isn't cool any longer. Not that it ever was in the first place, but you get what I'm saying."

"Yea, I do. Shelby wants me to see a therapist."

"Good. I agree with that actually. Are you going to try again with her?"

"Yes, but she said that I get to decide how fast we move and that she wont push me to talk to her. I know you don't really like her, but please give her a chance. At least for me. I need someone older. Not that I don't appreciate you guys, but you're my age."

"I get it. I'll go easy on her. But if she fucks this up I'm going to kick her ass."

"Santana-"

"Take it or leave it, Midget."

"Fine, I take it."

"Hey Rachel, I really am sorry for the other night."

"I know you are and I understand."

"It still was no excuse."

"No, it wasn't, but I have to let it go. It happened, mistakes were made and what's done is done."

"Alright then, now that that shit is out of the way, lets go see when Quinn found for dinner before she comes in here demanding to know what I've done to you."

* * *

Two hours later, Rachel walked Santana and Brittany to the door as Quinn went upstairs.

"Call me if you need us, ok Midget?"

"Are you going to call me that now?"

"Probably. But as a term of endearment."

Rachel rolled her eyes and threw her arms around Santana, who hugged her back. "We'll be back tomorrow, alright? I think you and Quinn need some time together tonight."

"Yea, I know we do. Thanks Santana."

"Anytime."

When Santana let her go, Brittany immediately grabbed the tiny girl and pulled her into her arms, lifting her off the floor and kissing her on the cheek. "Love you, Rachel."

"I love you too, Brit." Rachel laughed.

"Alright B, put the girl down and lets scram. I wanna get my sweet lady kisses on."

Brittany set Rachel down and was out the door and to the car in a matter of seconds.

"Well, that was easy." Rachel laughed.

"Usually is. Seriously though, call or text if you guys need us, okay?"

"I will. Have a good night, San."

"You too Midget."

* * *

Upstairs, Quinn turned on the faucets for the bathtub, adding a few handfuls of Epsom salt to the warm water. She knew from experience that it felt good to soak in the stuff, and that it would help with Rachel's infection and to help her relax as well.

When she heard Rachel enter her bedroom and close the door, she turned off the water, deeming the tub full enough, she walked out to get her.

Quinn simply took Rachel's hand and led her to the bathroom without a word, closing and locking the door behind them.

Once inside, she placed a kiss to Rachel's forehead before ridding herself of her clothing, then taking Rachel's off as well. She gently removed the gauze from Rachel's arm and the bandages that the doctor had put on her side.

She took Rachel's hand again and lead them both to the tub, helping Rachel to step in, following right behind.

Quinn settled down into the water, pulling Rachel down with her so that the smaller girl rested with her back against her chest, letting Rachel lay her head back onto her shoulder.

Taking Rachel's hands in her own, she placed them on the diva's stomach before placing a kiss into the think brunette hair.

The pair simply sat in the tub until the water went cold, not speaking a word to each other because none were needed.

When they finally made their way, still naked and not bothering to put on clothes, to bed, Rachel allowed Quinn to hold her. She needed to feel the warmth and comfort she found in the blonde.

When Rachel felt Quinn's breathing start to even out and she thought the girl was asleep, she finally broke the silence "I forgive you, Quinn." She felt Quinn's arm that was wrapped around her waist give her a tight squeeze in reply, showing that she heard her.

* * *

**A/N: Wow. That was long. Ok, this is the end of this story. There WILL be a sequel to this. I'm planning to make it more focused on Rachel's recovery, Quinn/Rachel, Rachel/Shelby, Quinn/Beth, Quinn/Rachel/Shelby/Beth as a whole, and Santana and Brittany will be regulars as well. I haven't decided what to do with the Berry men yet. The sequel will also have a Beta as well. The first chapter of the sequel will be an outline of every chapter in this story, hitting on the main points allowing a review for those who have read this from the beginning or those who are going to start reading the next one. I will also be re-reading this to fix any grammar/spelling errors as well. **

**If there is anything you would like to see in the sequel, please let me know!**

**Also, huge thanks to Cassicio for helping me with this chapter!**


	54. Note

The sequel is now up. Finally! It can be found under the title of "What We've Found" See the first chapter for more details and notes!


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